To expect coffee?!?!

[ReplacementBusService]

I've never posted a thread before. Please be kind to me as this is extremely serious and I might cry. Well, moderately serious

A couple of us have come to stay with friends who have recently moved away. I woke up early, as is normal for me. We've been told to help ourselves to breakfast etc if we want.

They do not have any coffee in their house. None. Zero. Nothing 😱

These are old friends of mine and wonderful people, and they used to drink the odd coffee but more tea drinkers really - but I was expecting some sort of coffee available. They're probably gonna have a lot of "down from London" visitors to stay now they've moved.

I have spent half an hour googling where I can get coffee on a Sunday morning round here. The options are limited or not early morning enough. I am beside myself. Or I would be if I had enough caffeine in my system to get a head of steam on.

YABU: bring your own coffee next time. These guys are now living a simple coffee free life in the country, get away with your high and mighty big city ways and bring your own

YANBU: it's normal to expect a bit of coffee in a house in this day and age. You'll be doing your hosts a favour if you mention this, or they're going to face hordes of desperate visitors with a dreadful level of unmet need in this new, country living phase of their lives, and the local community will be ravaged by coffee starved londoners desperately roaming the streets early doors like a host of annoying affluent zombies in nice trainers

I sometimes tell tradespeople we don’t have any coffee because we don’t use instant and I can’t be arsed using the actual espresso machine for them. Have they hidden theirs away?

Regardless of whether you drink coffee or tea yourself I think it’s the bare minimum level of hospitality to be able to offer a visitor or a guest either. I can’t imagine being so inconsiderate or unaware of most people’s preference to not offer a hot drink. I don’t drink tea, but I have some Yorkshire, earl grey, camomile and peppermint tea in the cupboard to offer visitors as I know not everyone likes coffee.

All of the workmen I've had in my house have asked for squash over tea/coffee.

I don't drink either so had bought it in specially.

Coffee is expensive to buy and then sit and go out of date in the cupboard.

Thank you to all the brilliant replies here. And to all the people who have taken this extremely seriously.....it is an extremely serious problem so that is absolutely the right and correct thing to do.

Having established there really were no corner shops, qwik e marts, or drug dealers who also stock coffee open before 8am, naturally I got into my enormous four by four and sat revving it loudly outside the nearest Londis until the geezer relented and opened the door. Actually some of that last but is made up. I don't have a 4 x4. And I walked and just looked sad and desperate for a while.

I acknowledge that I have a serious problem in my addiction, my lack of preparedness to feed the addiction, and also my poor attitude to the local shopkeepers who have every right to open post 8am on a Sunday. My friends are lovely people and we are all going to remain friends, and respect each others caffeine choices (I am DEFINITELY going to review the different travel suggestions from other coffee addicts on here and choose the best and most practical one. Or get a backpack with a self heating urn and long pipes or an IV or something)

I don't drink tea or coffee, and the number of meetings or training events where I've had to ask for water—that thing that comes free out of a tap—and I got looks as though I was mad, almost drove me mad! I take a bottle of water everywhere now.

I would feel your pain, OP, but some can't even get water put on offer! Even if it comes from a tap.....free!

I don't drink coffee and neither does DH but if we have someone to stay I'd normally get those coffee bags in.

@HellDorado That's my point. I would be gutted to not have a cup of coffee to start my day, but I only drink another one or two cups (max) the rest of the day so I'm hardly addicted to it and I don't have a headache if I don't get my morning coffee.
Coffee contains 40mg of caffeine per 100mg compared to 11mg per 100mg for tea, so some of my tea-drinking friends who drink a lot of tea (I call them "tea-bags" 😂 ) are taking on at least as much caffeine as me a day and sometimes more.
It was the assertion that all coffee drinkers must be "addicted" to it and get withdrawal symptoms (like headaches) if they don't have it, which I took issue with, as it's patently untrue.

I am not a coffee person and before I got married it was a bit hit and miss for what, if anything was available for guests - like if my brother had declared the lovely expensive pre ground guest coffee appalling and thrown it away, I might not have replaced it before the next time a guest noted my lack of coffee (see also ancient things of instant that some guests in your predicament accepted and some suddenly were okay with tea). As a tea drinker I’ve coped with versions of this at coffee drinkers houses and usually travel with tea bags.

As the first coffee drinker guest your job is now to stash something there for the next coffee drinkers and hope it is still fresh.

@ReplacementBusService "Actually some of that last but is made up. I don't have a 4 x4. And I walked and just looked sad and desperate for a while." I do hope you pressed your nose against the Londis window, whilst sadly surveying the unlit shelves within, to ensure you left an impression they won't forget in a hurry! 😂

I got into my enormous four by four and sat revving it loudly outside the nearest Londis until the geezer relented and opened the door

The image of this in my head did make me snigger😂😂

I don't want the smell of coffee in my kitchen so they can have tea, water or if it's someone I like I might offer them one of my buttermint tea bags!

Thankfully we don't have a spare bedroom so no one can stay so any visitors will only have to go a few hours without coffee!

If you're gonna be an arsehole from London, may as well go all in 🤠

So you did go out and get coffee? I can’t tell if that was all a joke now! Have the hosts mentioned it yet OP, did they wonder where you went?

I don’t drink coffee. I got fed up of throwing jars away, that had all gone hard, just in case a person visited. I now tell people to bring their own. No way I’m paying £6-7 for someone to have a couple of drinks and it be thrown away months later.

YANBU! Even my friend who drinks neither tea or coffee has some ancient Nescafe at the back of the cupboard!

I rarely drink coffee at home, but do try and make sure I have it if I have a coffee drinking guest. And then a large packet goes off it is a pain! I've been known to send it home with people before.

I voted YABU because I kind of feel it's a bad idea to have it so that you need the caffeine in the morning to get going. I deliberately don't drink tea all the time to stop this because I don't want the dependency. If I'm staying somewhere I roll with the fact that there will be a different breakfast from what I'm used to. I'm more distressed by the people who don't have ice and lemon for the G&T 😜.

Having said that part of hosting is anticipating and trying to have what your guests will want which isn't always what you eat normally. But buying a load of ketchup/peanut butter etc etc that then they might not go for is always a bit of a balancing act

I did go out and get it, I just didn't really rev a four by four outside the local shop. I really can't go that long without coffee (well, if civilization collapses I will have to, but otherwise, no way!!!)

I acknowledged to my friend that I have a problem

I'll repeat this for the non coffee drinking hosts:

Individually wrapped coffee bags are the answer

Get some sticks of micro ground coffee and always have a few in your travel bag. I feel your pain (caffeine withdrawal headache)!

I always take my own coffee, because even if they do supply coffee, it’s not necessarily going to be the same quality that I prefer to drink.

YANBU. - me and DH don’t drink coffee but PIL do so we always have some instant coffee in

Well if I hadn't had my first morning coffee I wouldn't be safe to drive either, far too lightheaded! So I would have had to walk as well, in a wobbly and meandering fashion

My pain for you stopped when you said you drove an enormous 4x4. You are rivalling Trump.

I'd have tea. Or even Perrier mineral water as a last instance.

Gen Z by any chance? 😁

so glad you got caffeinated