Am I too sensitive about bad language? TW bad language

[Bundit]

I'm just back from an unplanned evening out. I went out late afternoon to have a drink with friends and then various other people turned up and we ended up going for a meal. There were nine of us, including a woman I hadn't met before.

She was interesting and funny and, like the rest of us, in her 50s with grown-up kids. She's a director of the local health board, so not stupid. Beautifully groomed and elegant-looking. But every other word that comes out of her mouth is a swear-word.

I'm no pearl-clutching Snow White myself: I swear a fair bit. But when I swear I swear because I'm angry and use the words for emphasis. This woman just peppered fairly ordinary conversations with expletives. I can't begin to reproduce her way of speaking. It wasn't just 'fucking this and fucking that'. It was all sweary and rude. Everyone in her life, including her colleagues and kids, she described as fucking arsewipes and cretinous wankers and worse. She's very inventive in her cursing. There were moments when it was quite Shakespearian.

I started off thinking it was weirdly amusing, but that wore off and I began to find it aggressive and unpleasant. She must had read my thoughts because she took me aside and said she knew she was strong meat and she hated seeing people pulling back as a result of her language. She said she's always been like this and her kids, in their late teens, are the same. She showed me a video on her phone of her stunning young daughter, who's hoping to study medicine, calling her mother every name under the sun.

She actually seems quite a warm person, and she's got to be intelligent to hold the position she does, but the swearing began to feel really repellant and I ended up being the first to leave. Someone else in the group asked for a lift and on the way home commented on how funny this woman was with her non-stop swearing. I said well, it really began to grate on me and I didn't think I could bear being around her for long. The person I was giving the lift to told me I sound really old-fashioned and need to stop being so sensitive. Now I don't know what to think. It's not a simple matter of disliking the language she uses. The effect of all those words really feels aggressive to me. Does anyone here understand what I'm talking about?

Just because a word isn't generally used in formal speech, that doesn't mean you're obliged to be offended by it in every other context too. I can assure you that there are many, many people who write - and read - the national news who use 'such words' frequently in other situations. In fact, in my experience, people who write national news are the most prolific swearers I've met. But - like any other normal, functional adult - they are capable of code-switching for different situations.

You find the word cunt offensive. That's fine. Be offended as much as you like. But the fact that you are offended is neither here nor there. Other people aren't obliged to be as offended as you are.

Maybe not, but the fact remains that that word is taboo in our culture and is seen as pretty much the worst word you can call someone. Most people have an issue with it, even if you don't.

I know a few journalists, and they do use the F word a lot, but not the C word.

Many people use the word cunt, and many people aren't offended. I wouldn't use shit, crap or bollocks in an interview or cunt, there's more but I'm sure you get the message - it's a formal situation - you use different words for different situations, I'm surprised that this is news to you.
I'm quite sure you understand how the world works. You don't like the word cunt, you find it offensive, you know other people who don;t like it and find it offensive - that's perfectly fine - we heard you the first time, do you think the more you say you find it offensive the more people will listen? Is that how people respond to you in real life - what profession are you in?

Why would you not use the word cunt in an interview?

Same reason you wouldn't sing, speak in rhyme, expound your religious or political views, tell the interviewers about your relationship problems, put your feet up on their desk, relate the hilarious tale of that night you fell off the table you were dancing on and vomited over the hostess, walk into the interview eating a sandwich ...

Convention requires restrained behaviour in most interviews. There are, however, interviews where any of the above may be appropriate, including hardcore swearing.

It was a bloody stupid question, though. I just thought it'd be fun to answer.

Refuse collection, but what's that got to do with the price of fish?

Bit defensive there of your bad language.

It's a part of a woman's body. We hear so much about privilege in different arenas - this is another. Men have traditionally held power where women haven't, for millennia. It's similar to how calling a white person a pale faced pillock is not looked on as being as offensive as racial slurs. Willy and bellend just don't do it in the same way. It's that simple.

How about fanny, twat and tit where do you place those words? They don’t get the same reaction as cunt - so it feels to me it’s not just simply about male privilege and a women’s body, it’s about the word cunt and the special place it holds. Fanny and twat don’t carry the same weight yet they both refer to a vulva/vagina. Why is that?

Absolute rubbish. It is a fair question, you just can't accept you are wrong sadly.

She is not your kind of person OP and never will be. Someone who behaves like this then laments the negative effect it can have on others is a pita. Training one's children to behave similarly is neglectful and selfish. Such behaviour just illustrates the contempt she feels for others, including her children. Avoid her.

My dad used to say that bad language was indicative of low intelligence.

I tend to agree though lots of people will pile on to say they know brain surgeons who swear like troopers. I do swear - never use the c-word but I do swear - in context. In anger or extreme frustration. Otherwise it loses currency when you say you're going out for a fucking pizza tonight doesn't it?

I don't think it's really the language you're sensitive to - you're just (quite rightly imo) intolerant of loud-mouthed, self-important bores.

It’s not, because I wouldn’t use fuck, twat, prick,fanny, bloody or the “super hilarious and creative “ toilet goblin either. Not even fiddlesticks or sugar lumps. Because it’s an interview. The degree of perceived offensiveness is irrelevant.

I find it interesting that you point out her intelligence/career and her daughter’s as if you’re surprised someone of that “status” might swear when actually, studies suggest intelligent people are more likely to swear. I think you sound slightly uptight about it all, to a lot of people, swearing really isn’t a biggie.

"Because it's an interview"..... and?

This is not a proper answer to only state that it is an interview. So please actually answer the question "why would you not swear in an interview?" or accept you are wrong.

The question was actually about using cunt in an interview as some kind of point that it’s the worst swear word ever.

Why would you not swear in an interview, is a completely different question.

It may be a different question, but the logic is the same, so shows using certain words (bad language ones) aren't very classy.

Was that your point - swearing isn't classy? 😂I don't think anyone said it was!

No it shows only there are certain times you use certain words.

You do not use verily or forsooth outside of plays etc, certainly not in an interview.

Those words are from a different time. Words such as cunt were not from that time and more current, so if they are aparantly acceptable in usual day to day chat, they should be fine for an interview. As they are not, according to what you say, there is weak arguement for any day to day chat.

The language is used because it's lazy and chavvy.

Funny being lectured on being classy from someone who uses terms like chavvy. You couldn't make it up.🤔

Why would you?

I promise you, upper class and working class alike use words like cunt with reckless abandon. Your snobbery is sorely misplaced - "chavvy" does not come into it, not one bit.

"Total goblin" makes you sound like a twee twat.