Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not pulling out for flashing cars?

115 replies

MyNewSnail · 12/04/2025 18:12

I was at the supermarket today and was turning right onto a main road. The road was empty and the car coming to my right stopped and flashed for me to come out.

I didn't want to pull out and she gave me abuse when I eventually did (just kidding I was shaking my head and shouting at her for her to drive but she wouldn't)

My reasoning is that there was zero need for the car to stop and should she hit me (on purpose or accident) than I'm at fault.

Aibu

OP posts:
CountryQueen · 18/04/2025 11:28

Bundleflower · 16/04/2025 11:45

I bet you’re the type of person that would get upset if someone flashed to warn others of a speed van, also?

Pmsl. How would I know why they’re flashing? I’m not psychic.

Dbank · 18/04/2025 11:42

If only there was a book with all the rules for driving on the road, then we could all follow them and be able to clarify any disputes?

Bundleflower · 18/04/2025 17:12

CountryQueen · 18/04/2025 11:28

Pmsl. How would I know why they’re flashing? I’m not psychic.

Because you’d then pass a speeding van making it quite obvious? Pmsl

crackofdoom · 18/04/2025 19:11

Fucking double decker bus gestured me out today, at a rural junction. If he was able to lip read, the driver would have seen me going "What are you doooing?! There's nobody behind you! And you have right of way, and you're a bus! Why are you fucking with my head thus?!"

crackofdoom · 18/04/2025 19:19

Dbank · 18/04/2025 11:42

If only there was a book with all the rules for driving on the road, then we could all follow them and be able to clarify any disputes?

I have a theory that driving behaviour has declined since the introduction of the multiple choice driving theory test. Previously in order to pass your test you had to attempt to memorise the Highway Code in its entirety, because an examiner could ask you anything. Nowadays* the "pass-your-theory-test" booklet is distinctly dumbed down.

*and when I say nowadays I'm referring to the year 2001, when I passed my test. Which is only 3 or 4 years ago, right?!

Lonelycrab · 19/04/2025 00:25

So lorry drivers.

They flash their lights to other lorry divers that are overtaking them, to indicate that it’s safe to pull back into the slow lane as they are now clear…

What do the anti flashing light Gestapo make of this?

And another one…

You’re driving along on a twisty road. Round one bend you encounter a loose animal. You slow and pass it safely, but on leaving the bend, you flash (omg!) the oncoming car speeding into that twisty road that there might be a danger in the road ahead?

Renember: Highway Code says you can only alert someone of your presence by flashing your lights.

Is it right for these drivers to flash their lights.? Yes or no.

Would it be better if they didn’t? Would it be safer for those drivers?

NerrSnerr · 19/04/2025 00:40

Lonelycrab · 19/04/2025 00:25

So lorry drivers.

They flash their lights to other lorry divers that are overtaking them, to indicate that it’s safe to pull back into the slow lane as they are now clear…

What do the anti flashing light Gestapo make of this?

And another one…

You’re driving along on a twisty road. Round one bend you encounter a loose animal. You slow and pass it safely, but on leaving the bend, you flash (omg!) the oncoming car speeding into that twisty road that there might be a danger in the road ahead?

Renember: Highway Code says you can only alert someone of your presence by flashing your lights.

Is it right for these drivers to flash their lights.? Yes or no.

Would it be better if they didn’t? Would it be safer for those drivers?

The lorry drivers are not flashing me as I’m not driving a lorry so they can crack on and do as they please. Doesn’t affect me. I’d also flash if there was a hazard in the road for others. Doesn’t change that I think some people who flash their lights to to let someone out of a junction do it out of habit and are idiots when they do it when there’s no traffic behind them. I think others also do it because they don’t think they can make the manoeuvre into a side road unless both sides of the road they’re driving into is clear as they’re rubbish drivers.

Lonelycrab · 19/04/2025 00:46

I’d also flash if there was a hazard in the road for other

Does the Highway Code stipulate that?

Lonelycrab · 19/04/2025 00:50

The lorry drivers are not flashing me

Well they might be flashing you to pull out or across, if you’re a particularly un observant and rubbish driver. Who’s to know?

Lonelycrab · 19/04/2025 01:02

I think somepeople who flash their lights to to let someone out of a junction do it out of habit and are idiots when they do it when there’s no traffic behind them

@NerrSnerr driving 1000 miles a month for the last 15 years I don’t think I’ve ever seen that happen once, drivers just don’t do that.

Honestly this thread is hilarious with armchair never drivers spouting nonsense.

But it’s quite entertaining to read. Peak mn🍿

NerrSnerr · 19/04/2025 07:59

Lonelycrab · 19/04/2025 01:02

I think somepeople who flash their lights to to let someone out of a junction do it out of habit and are idiots when they do it when there’s no traffic behind them

@NerrSnerr driving 1000 miles a month for the last 15 years I don’t think I’ve ever seen that happen once, drivers just don’t do that.

Honestly this thread is hilarious with armchair never drivers spouting nonsense.

But it’s quite entertaining to read. Peak mn🍿

Edited

You’ve never seen someone flash others to let them out when there is no one behind them? Maybe you’re not looking for it? It happens all the time, I think it happened to me yesterday. My house is on a t junction and you see it all the time. Some drivers do it out of habit, see someone who is at a t junction and they automatically slow down and flash without looking at their surroundings.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 20/04/2025 01:51

NerrSnerr · 19/04/2025 07:59

You’ve never seen someone flash others to let them out when there is no one behind them? Maybe you’re not looking for it? It happens all the time, I think it happened to me yesterday. My house is on a t junction and you see it all the time. Some drivers do it out of habit, see someone who is at a t junction and they automatically slow down and flash without looking at their surroundings.

As a pedestrian, I regularly have drivers stop and flash or gesture me to cross the road when there is nothing behind them. It makes me worry about just how many drivers don't use their mirrors and have no what's behind them.

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 20/04/2025 07:34

RichardMarxisinnocent · 20/04/2025 01:51

As a pedestrian, I regularly have drivers stop and flash or gesture me to cross the road when there is nothing behind them. It makes me worry about just how many drivers don't use their mirrors and have no what's behind them.

Or they're mindful of the fact that, just because you're in a massive heavy metal box, the road doesn't automatically belong to you over somebody on foot; and also, they are blocking off the lane for your safety in crossing, as the next driver to arrive behind them may appear out of nowhere, be speeding, not looking properly and/or believe that they do own the road.

You personally may not be slow or vulnerable, but there are plenty of elderly, disabled and/or vulnerable pedestrians - and parents with prams/pushchairs/toddlers - who are worried for their safety when crossing the road. Once a driver is used to being considerate and not treating pedestrians like second-class citizens by default, it will often come as second nature to them to stop to offer all pedestrians priority.

However, to read this thread, they would probably be better just saying stuff anybody else and only care about Number One...

NerrSnerr · 20/04/2025 14:08

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 20/04/2025 07:34

Or they're mindful of the fact that, just because you're in a massive heavy metal box, the road doesn't automatically belong to you over somebody on foot; and also, they are blocking off the lane for your safety in crossing, as the next driver to arrive behind them may appear out of nowhere, be speeding, not looking properly and/or believe that they do own the road.

You personally may not be slow or vulnerable, but there are plenty of elderly, disabled and/or vulnerable pedestrians - and parents with prams/pushchairs/toddlers - who are worried for their safety when crossing the road. Once a driver is used to being considerate and not treating pedestrians like second-class citizens by default, it will often come as second nature to them to stop to offer all pedestrians priority.

However, to read this thread, they would probably be better just saying stuff anybody else and only care about Number One...

It’s safer to cross a clear road though, you have more visibility and you don’t have the pressure of a ‘helpful’ driver waving you across.

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 20/04/2025 14:30

NerrSnerr · 20/04/2025 14:08

It’s safer to cross a clear road though, you have more visibility and you don’t have the pressure of a ‘helpful’ driver waving you across.

It really depends on the road - and the driver and the speed/ability of the pedestrian.

If it's usually deserted, it's probably better for the driver to just keep going and leave an open road; but some roads are very regularly used but not permanently occupied.

Where we used to live, there was an elderly disabled man who used a walking frame and could only walk very, very slowly indeed. He needed to cross the (30mph) semi-main road that he lived on daily.

Because the traffic was frequent but not permanent, he was never going to be able to cross before another car would come along and be right upon him, so his only option was to walk along the road to the crossing a few hundred yards up the road, cross and then back the same few hundred yards, ending up virtually opposite where he'd started.

This took the best part of an hour out of his day in total, every day, just to cross a road where most of us would easily have found a gap and been on the other side in 5 seconds. However, if somebody stopped on their side (and waited patiently) to let him cross, then somebody coming the other way saw the situation and then stopped on their side too, this chap could then safely save himself about 57 minutes - as well as all the struggle and exhaustion of the walking.

True, most of us don't need such special consideration and assistance; but I still think there are far worse habits to develop than to instinctively give way to pedestrians, regardless of their level of absolute need.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page