Not pulling out for flashing cars?

[MyNewSnail]

I was at the supermarket today and was turning right onto a main road. The road was empty and the car coming to my right stopped and flashed for me to come out.

I didn't want to pull out and she gave me abuse when I eventually did (just kidding I was shaking my head and shouting at her for her to drive but she wouldn't)

My reasoning is that there was zero need for the car to stop and should she hit me (on purpose or accident) than I'm at fault.

Aibu

No, crash for cash is a real
thing!

Yanbu. She had right of way and you were correct to not move. I never move for being flashed. Love watching the idiots get arsey because they are too stupid to understand the highway code.

A colleague made a dreadful mistake many years ago and did drive after being flashed and was smashed into by another car, she accepted it was her fault.

It's just a small and genuine act of kindness. Nobody is giving you orders or making out they're the boss of you. Some people seem to go out of their way to find irritation and offence in the most simple of things where none is intended.

For a second there I couldn't believe how petty, pathetic and stupid some of the these comments are, then I remembered... this is Mumsnet.

You aren’t required to be kind when driving, you’re required to adhere to the Highway Code. It literally insures that all vehicles are treated fairly, thus being the actual definition of kindness.

Hello, insurance company? Yeah I just hit a cyclist because I was delightedly responding to an act of kindness.

Insurer: yep, that’s no problem although the cyclist probably didn’t take too kindly to being hospitalised.

To make a fraudulent claim on the insurance, obviously.

Flashing a car out of the side road and then driving into them is a well known insurance scam. It's called flash for cash.

Please post again!
It's posts like this that keep me coming back to MN!

Very sensible

I pulled out once when someone slowed down and flashed

Didn't see the car overtaking them

My car was written off. Luckily no-one badly hurt but entirely my fault

YANBU

I don't let strangers make my driving decisions for me.

Neither do I. If somebody flashes me out I will make an intelligent, safe choice as to whether I accept their offer. I have the mental capacity to do that.

Wow, do you really, genuinely believe that everybody showing a simple kind gesture - to potentially save you waiting for ages to come out of a side street on to a busy main road - is a 'twat'?

I'd hate to know what you would think of our terrible, disgusting neighbour who kindly brought our bin back in for us the other day when she collected her own; or our vile, despicable local dog walkers who take a bin bag and grabber with them and pick up loads of unsightly litter on their way!!

It's not an order or a demand for you to 'obey' them; nor are they guaranteeing that it's safe for you to go without you also checking for yourself. It's just that most people like things to be made considerably easier for them where possible; only a minority of people are like Mrs Doyle and actually 'like the misery'.

Flashing is for warning, not for permission. No matter how commonly used wrongly.

I had some kind idiot flash me to come out from a side street against right of way during my driving test, and didn't take it - I hand-waved them to move on. Which fortunately was the right decision: if I'd gone ahead or used my own lights to flash them back, I'd have been failed said my examiner afterwards. This was 20 years ago but I'd be very surprised if that had changed.

If unsure follow the Highway Code, it's what the police and your insurance company will do.

Rule 110
Flashing headlights. Only flash your headlights to let other road users know that you are there. Do not flash your headlights to convey any other message or intimidate other road users.

Rule 111
Never assume that flashing headlights is a signal inviting you to proceed. Use your own judgement and proceed carefully.

I know lot's of people do it, but it's potentially dangerous and often misleads you into pulling out when you otherwise wouldn't have.

So you agree with the OP in saying that she didn't want to pull out just because some random stranger was flashing their lights at her?

The fact that this stranger then got arsey about it kind of proves the point that it wasn't an offer, it was an instruction.

Use your own judgement and proceed carefully.

That's exactly what I do. I knew I was right! Thanks Dbank.

I'd say it doesn't only mislead, it often pressures people into making decisions they wouldn't have otherwise made.

If she didn't to that's fine.

Many on this thread have made comments about never, under any circumstances, would they do this. That just seems silly to me.

I would be grateful for someone doing this although you could be in danger from someone overtaking that car but I detest drivers on main roads who do this as their duty of care is to the traffic behind them on the road.

if "I'd hate to know what you would think of our terrible, disgusting neighbour who kindly brought our bin back in for us the other day when she collected her own; or our vile, despicable local dog walkers who take a bin bag and grabber with them and pick up loads of unsightly litter on their way!!"

Bringing a bin in doesn't cause a crash though. Neither does litter picking. (I do both all the time). There's nothing "kind" about ignoring the highway code.

Neither does courteous driving, as long as everybody concerned is alert and cautious.

I'm amazed at how much some people on here get upset, or even angry, at somebody offering them a small kindness - and the suggestions that they're probably doing it for a fraudulent 'crash and cash' claim, rather than just showing a bit of basic human courtesy that will add 2 seconds on to their journey time but potentially save you 10 minutes on yours.

Incidentally, it's interesting how nobody seems to care about upbraiding the 95% of drivers who always pull forwards on to their drives, instead of reversing on to them and then driving out forwards. That's also against the Highway Code - and I would have thought very obviously more dangerous.

I presume that all of the people on here who are harumphing and claiming to always rigidly stick to the HC only ever reverse on to their driveways (if they have them)?

They were stupid to do it to a car that clearly contained a learner driver (whether on a test or just a lesson).

A novice driver only has the HC to staunchly abide by, until they gain the experience to be able to make safe judgments that may slightly differ; in the same way that we teach young children to always wait for the green man before crossing, as they don't yet have the experience that an adult would to know that, if the road is deserted, there's no need whatsoever to wait.

The offerer/flasher(!) has no justification at all in demanding or getting annoyed if somebody chooses to decline their offer.

Most drivers are happy to accept that their offer has been declined for whatever reason and just proceed as they were.

I get this quite often at the entrance to the car park for my office. I turn right over 2 lanes of traffic - one is a bus lane - the amount of times I’ve had someone stop and flash and start gesticulating at me as they forget there is 2 lanes and fail to notice the bus or bike pass them. Most of them will hold their hands up and apologise when they realise I’m not wasting their time.

@leafy74

Why, thank you but you should know posting on MN doesn’t need your specific invitation.

And to whoever posted conflating bin tidying and driving, I think you need to work on your comparatives, insofar as your examples aren’t.

I wasn't a novice, I'd had a motorbike license for over a decade at that point. Loving your "damn both sides" posts though, keep it up.

I'm amazed at how much some people on here get upset, or even angry, at somebody offering them a small kindness - and the suggestions that they're probably doing it for a fraudulent 'crash and cash' claim, rather than just showing a bit of basic human courtesy that will add 2 seconds on to their journey time but potentially save you 10 minutes on yours

That's because insurance fraud is big business and fraudulent crashes happen every day, up and down the country. The reason they are so successful is because they rely on people's gullibility about it just being a courteous thing to do.

Also when have you ever seen anyone sitting at a side road for a full ten minutes?