Not pulling out for flashing cars?

[MyNewSnail]

I was at the supermarket today and was turning right onto a main road. The road was empty and the car coming to my right stopped and flashed for me to come out.

I didn't want to pull out and she gave me abuse when I eventually did (just kidding I was shaking my head and shouting at her for her to drive but she wouldn't)

My reasoning is that there was zero need for the car to stop and should she hit me (on purpose or accident) than I'm at fault.

Aibu

I bet you’re the type of person that would get upset if someone flashed to warn others of a speed van, also?

Can everybody who says that disobeying the Highway Code and flashing lights to let somebody out is evil and dangerous say, hand on heart, that they have never, ever crossed the road on the red man? That's against the Highway Code as well.

There's also something worth pointing out about the Highway Code: a lot of it is advice (like the "guidance" that Boris Johnson kept wittering on about while defending his lockdown parties), rather than law, for example "do not flash headlights for any other reason", "do not cross when the red man is showing", although the Highway Code can be used to decide who is at fault in an insurance claim. The parts which are law are shown with MUST and MUST NOT.

Yes you are correct, and I have flashed and crossed on the red man...

Fuck me some people seem to love making their own lives more difficult for no reason other than to give themselves that tiny sense of superiority over others.

These days how on earth do you know if that is why they are flashing you? I had a polish van up my arse flashing trying to get me to move out of the way, which he then did all up the road in close knit traffic - he was just pushing through. I've seen white van men flash when they are angry, to let people out, to say your lights are too bright - who knows what else!

Here's another unofficial signal: using your hazard lights to thank somebody, or to warn of traffic slowing down ahead. The Highway Code used to say (20+ years ago) the hazard warning lights should not be used while the vehicle is in motion. More recently, it does endorse using them to warn of traffic slowing down ahead, but not to thank somebody, even though drivers do this all the time.

Also, the virtue-signalling Famous Five say (in Five get into Trouble) they are very strict about following the Highway Code on their bikes, and yes, "the Highway Code" is actually referred to. Even though they occasionally have a passenger on their bikes, and Timmy runs alongside them? The HC says "do not lead an animal". I suspect that even in the 1950s, the HC took a dim view of those things.

Well presumably they’d be coming from the opposite direction and you wouldn’t be in a situation where they are waving you out of a side road etc. so they’d almost certainly be warning you of a ‘danger’ in the direction you were going such as a horse playing up, somebody broken down or a speed van etc.

That's a guess and a half! Some people do it to tell people to advance! You really wouldn't have a leg to stand on in Court.

I can’t believe people actually think stopping on an empty road and flashing at a stranger and trying to boss them into making an unwise manoeuvre is “kind” or is saving 10 minutes off their journey. If people stopped with their performative kindness and carried on then you can pull out behind them in the empty road. For clarity, I am talking about the situation in the actual OP, not people travelling at 2 miles an hour in heavy traffic or people who live in medieval market towns with complicated junctions. I just mean in light traffic when by stopping they actually close up the gap in traffic behind them or make it slower for you to use the junction in a normal way and gesture and wave and then shake their head like you are a being rude. In some cases rules are important and the roads would be a lot safer if people were predictable on them. I had it again the yesterday as a pedestrian. I was approaching the island to cross and a driver stopped for absolutely no reason while a cyclist is coming hurtling down the hill towards me not knowing if I was going to step out or not. I ended up turning around and walking further up the road and crossing behind them both. I don’t want to step out in front of a cyclist, I don’t want to make a cyclist stop when there isn’t even a zebra crossing or lights on a road with light traffic. How on earth is this kind? Just drive like a normal person and let others make grown-up choices for themselves. Again, I am not talking about in heavy traffic when it’s actually useful and everyone is crawling along and there are too many witnesses for “flash for cash” scams - I’m talking about on near empty roads like the OP describes.

Court? You’ve lost me.

I never let other drivers know about speed cameras. If they can't drive safely or read numbers they deserve a fine.

Can I just ask all of the people on here who are quoting and hailing the Highway Code as the essential authority on all matters to do with driving: how often do you read it fully; when did you last read it; and (being honest) has there ever been a time when a new updated edition has been released and you didn't read it immediately?

But if the purpose of a speed van is to slow drivers down for safety, then surely you flashing and the drivers slowing down is achieving this goal? You could argue even achieving the goal early and so even safer.

I check the HWC occasionally, so I at least know what the advice or legal position is, especially when I know it's changed, (e.g pedestrian priority at junctions)

I haven't read it fully or bought a copy since I passed my test.

The HWC is a bit vague in places so it's also worth looking up the legislation sometimes.

Good call.
There's a busy petrol station near me with traffic lights 50 yards ahead.
When the lights change to red, cars in the left lane flash Drivers out from the petrol station.
What these Drivers forget is that there are two lanes of traffic they are pulling into. The 2nd lane is not affected by those lights and continue at 30mph..The number of near misses as the cars pull straight across a Live lane is ridiculous 🤨

If you pulled out because someone flashed you - whether they meant to come hither or stop or were flashing at a pedestrian or other driver or to slow down because there is a speed camera (only you seem to instinctively know) and if you then hit someone and tried to tell a Court the reason you did so was because some super kind person was telling you it was safe...? You're the one who looks like a wally with a death wish.

Strong of you OP

@NeilDiamondsBlowDry as an example, someone flashed to let me out, then drove into me. Very slowly it was do bizarre . They then sued me for 20k for causing whip lash

you cannot prove medically if someone does not have whiplash or not

they won

it’s a well known scam!

Have you never heard of Crash for cash

Yes, absolutely. Which is why I said in my original post on this thread ‘if it’s safe’.

The worst thing is I find is male cyclists pressuring me to overtake them and waving me past on a narrow country lane when I can't see far enough ahead to do so safely.

When I had driving lessons, my driving instructor told me not to pull out in that situation for that very reason.

However, decades later I now live in a spot where, during peak hour, I could wait for hours to get out of the driveway. When the traffic banks up, people always leave a gap for others to pull out of their driveway and it's always gratefully accepted. However, in my time living here - 20 years - I have discovered that everybody seems to be very law abiding and considerate.

Well, I suppose that's better than the vast majority of people; but even you admit that you haven't properly sat down and read it for a quite some time.

If it were the unequivocally accepted essential rules of the road, I think a lot more people would actually bother to read it - and regularly refresh their memories and take good note of all updates. As it is, I bet millions of people have never even heard of its existence.

I haven't seen any government public information campaigns to urge people to read it and obey it for decades - even though they can find the resources to inform drivers of cars that are breaking down on major roads that it might just be better to try to steer towards the hard shoulder/edge of the road, rather than just stay there nonchalantly in the path of all the fast-moving traffic!

I live on a main road, and at busy times, the only way to get out is to pull right up to the edge of the road, over the pavement, and wait until someone gives way. If I waited for a clear space, I'd be there for hours.

Sometimes, common sense is needed. What do you do if traffic lights are not working? The Highway Code says "proceed with caution". What does that mean? In my experience, people are surprisingly co-operative when that happens. Also, sometimes it happens that the lights don't detect you waiting at a red light, and if you didn't sneak through, you would be there for ever. If there was a MN thread on that, it would be bitterly divided in MN fashion: those who would sneak through, and those who absolutely would not, with phrases such as "red means stop is a global standard". Ditto box junctions: with some of them, if you obeyed them to the letter, you would actually never get through at busy times. (Although you have to be careful, because some of them are enforced by cameras.)

You can't legislate and write procedures for absolutely every eventuality, even though the government had a good try in 2020.

YANBU - this annoys me so much when it’s unnecessary. Obviously if it’s a really tricky junction and cars in both directions stop to let out cars that’s a different matter, but there are times when flashing someone to manoeuvre is not only unnecessary but possibly dangerous. I have refused to move before now, causing great irritation to the “kind”‘person flashing me.

Always assess your own risk and make your own decisions. The question here is whether you can see what’s coming from your left - and whether anyone on the right might try overtaking the stopped car.