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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how some people making looking so normal so good?

478 replies

Upsetbetty · 12/04/2025 07:40

I’m genuinely baffled, yesterday at work one of the women came in and I was blown away as I am most days. It was Friday so she was dressed a bit more casual. She only had on a pair of mom jeans, and a plain crewneck jumper, but it was to put togetherness that I couldn’t get over. Underneath her jumper, she had a long white sleeve top and the neck of the top could JUST be seen popping up from her jumper, she rolled up her jumper sleeves so you could see the white sleeves underneath, she had a pair of Adidas sambas on. It just looked so perfectly put together and thought out yet so simple at the same time. If I tried to emulate that I would look scruffy!! Just how does she do it? Anyone have any insight? I asked her and she told me where she got said items but I supppse it’s the fit that worked so well.

OP posts:
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14
DBD1975 · 14/04/2025 17:18

Staceysmum2025 · 14/04/2025 09:08

But if you don’t like the colour, what’s the bloody point?
I had my colours done and got directed to wear 50 shades of shit. I don’t care how much it lifts my tone or makes my eyes pop. I am not spending the rest of my life walking around looking like a turd.
Colours are meant to lift your mood and make you happy where what you want to wear, what you like

Edited
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The thing is I can see, whilst it is a colour I don't like, it looks a lot better on me than a colour I do like and, as a result, I feel better in what I wear, which is the point

springbringshope · 14/04/2025 17:42

Howmanyroses · 14/04/2025 11:52

Ok, two can play this game. I think bright and heavily patterned clothes are garish, overwhelming the senses with clashing colours and chaotic designs. Instead of making a bold fashion statement, they tend to look mismatched and haphazard, lacking the cohesion that defines true style. The eye doesn't know where to land, and the overall effect can be distracting rather than fashionable. While individuality is important, these kinds of outfits often sacrifice elegance and balance, resulting in a look that feels more costume than chic. This is my opinion

Costume is being tactful. I just thing lots of patterns just make people look like a mess

springbringshope · 14/04/2025 17:45

doodahdayy · 14/04/2025 11:14

I suit brighter colours, and dare I say patterns more than boring neutrals

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I’m interested in who is stylish in your mind who wears bold patterns and colour. I’m not saying there might not be anyone. I’m just interested in seeing someone you think of as super stylish who wears the bold patterns and bright colours well

KatharinaRosalie · 14/04/2025 17:54

Not the poster you asked, but Iris Apfel.

polkaloca · 14/04/2025 17:56

I think Prue Leith looks great in prints & colours.

Lupita Nyong'o's is one of my best dressed celebs.

PeachPumpkin · 14/04/2025 18:31

I love the idea of wearing shades of camel and black and looking all sophisticated, but they just don’t suit me, unfortunately. I also reckon that shapely legs really help with looking good.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/04/2025 18:39

Gowlett · 12/04/2025 09:29

Agree re. oversized things, like blazers / macs for example.
I just look like the Honey Monster in those. Fitted is better.

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Yes, fitted, not too tight or too loose.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/04/2025 19:04

BunnyLake · 12/04/2025 20:59

The only time I’ve ever felt and looked put together is when I was on holiday in hot countries. I always put much more effort into my clothes, I’d accessorise with nice jewellery and my hair had lots of body due to seawater and sun. Once back home I’d be back to my more un-put together look.

Hmm. I kind of look better in the summer because I have to wear so many layers in the winter, but if anyone saw my mosquito bitten legs....
Sweat takes the makeup off too and we're not supposed to tan any more..

waffleyversatile1 · 14/04/2025 20:55

ElleintheWoods · 12/04/2025 14:27

What are describing is a big fashion look right now (the white collar just about showing), so I would assume she has a bigger than average interest in style and fashion.

I probably used to look a little scruffy in my 20s and now I'm probably 'that' person in the office.

What do I do differently now:

  • Good slow lifestyle, good health and daily routine, which leads to a healthy weight and skin/hair/ nails on good condition
  • Actually care about what I wear and have simple stylish outfits lined up (=not think hard about what to wear, or throw on what is available)
  • Read premium fashion magazines but also consider what suits me, not wear trends. So i know where to get the best quality, best fitting clothes from, but I'd still never follow random trends, e.g. the big white sports socks look is a hard NO, I'm not an LA influencer
  • Trial and error, e.g. certain brands cater for my body shape, others don't, I stick with what works
  • Know about what's out there in beauty, but again, selective. I have treatments that make me super low maintenance on a daily basis, i.e. wake up with great skin and hair, just put some cream and lippy on and good to go. I now have very good products that I've discovered through established beauty writers, anything India Knight praises is gospel
  • Clean and well-groomed at all times
  • As others have said, CONFIDENCE. And HAPPINESS

Takes me about 10 mins to be ready and out the door after my shower, so it's genuinely effortless.

I love beauty and fashion, I don't do it to look good for anyone, I just embrace it, enjoy it, let it entertain me, it's a hobby, basically.

Get stopped by strangers, friends and even beauty professionals what I do/ wear to look the way that I do.

I remember someone writing on social media that 'looking hot is a full-time hobby' and they're not wrong. I know a lot of people in fields where looking in a certain way is a requirement, and there's no way they'd get through a week without a routine that caters to looking good. The 'beautiful people' spend time in salons, gyms, know about fashion etc.

Previously I used to look a mess because I was always running around doing things/ living my life/ being busy, and my health and well-being wasn't the centre of my universe.

It's superficial but I'm the happiest and mentally most balanced I've ever been, and I think the people around me appreciate how I've finally 'put my own oxygen mask on first' and therefore can show up for them better than ever before and be a positive influence.

Great post and good for you! The part about putting your own oxygen mask on really resonates with me.

BoysBagsShoes · 14/04/2025 22:46

Well, not sure if anyone did the same as me today, but achieved the perfect hint of t shirt under my crew neck by going out with it back to front…it worked! However, realised I might get warm and have to take it off, so turned it back around and it still looked great.
Never though I’d say it, but classic fit white t from Primark did the trick!

dodgyplant · 15/04/2025 07:42

@KingOfPoundbury , I like the idea of a crown or a tiara perhaps? Yes a simple white tee shirt and a crown will be my go to. I'm going to put it on an App and wear beige all the time.

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 15/04/2025 08:17

Upsetbetty · 12/04/2025 08:08

This made me laugh. I feel the same, I always look like I’ve tried way too hard and raided a randoms wardrobe.

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Yes, no matter what I wear, I look a mess. I work in fast food, my family say my uniform's very smart, I don't think it looks like it on me, it always looks crumpled after 5 seconds.

Drowninginprobate · 15/04/2025 08:43

Following with interest as feel the need for a look overhaul and thought the find someone who you like the looks of an interesting idea, coupled with knowing your body shape.

I’ve always liked what Fiona Bruce wears and feel we are a similar shape having read a few tips from this post plus I aways like her look and outfits, especially her summer ones.

Im definitely not a fan of ironing but I do feel that Im going to have to find mine

Emilienne · 15/04/2025 10:43

What’s the link to the specific item she was wearing from the set? Only saw a link to the generic collection? Very curious!!

Epli · 15/04/2025 10:58

I think there is a middle point between trying to 'look expensive' and wearing all beige and white and resembling a Christmas tree. Some examples:

Queen Letizia:
Plain top + patterned skirts: 1 2 3
Bold colors: Orange dress Pink coat and red dress Red suit Pink ensemble
Other: Patterned green dress

Caroline Cook Caroline Style Hacks

Some inspiration from the Cup of Jo 'Week in Outfits' (no influencers or ppl with stylist here):
Yellow Red + stripes

I think the key is to know which colors and patterns work for you. A bold color or pattern that doesn't suit somebody will make them look awful, so neutrals are a safer option. But muted, neutrals=sophisticated & classy is simply not true.

https://www.queenletiziastyle.com/uploads/2/1/2/9/21295692/492020484_orig.jpg

polkaloca · 15/04/2025 11:15

Oh another persons colourful style I like is Queen Maxima

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 15/04/2025 11:19

In the UK, the prevailing light and skin tones of many mean bright colours are less common. Tend to be reserved for special occasions often when the light is either artificial (evening do), or at its brightest (summer garden party for example).

When I shop abroad I see clothes in a far brighter palette and frankly a lot don’t suit me and my Celtic colouring. Before I realised this I did buy some there and brought them back to the UK and they looked garish in the light here (even leaving aside whether they suited me specifically). A lot is about context.

polkaloca · 15/04/2025 11:19

I'm a Londoner, lots of skin tones here...

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 15/04/2025 11:23

Obviously I speak in generalities and from my own personal experience. I said many, not all. Obviously I don’t speak for everyone.

The light in London is still island light though. And the tones of the architecture and plants. It’s just different to eg Alpine light or the Med/tropics. Or even Central Europe.

I love bright colours and they look great on some folk and they should fill their boots on that score. I’m just saying what I have observed about what is traditionally sold in the UK and who it might suit.

polkaloca · 15/04/2025 11:27

I disagree that brights don't work because of the light in England. But yes it's about what suits the particular person.

polkaloca · 15/04/2025 11:28

@springbringshope who is your stylish person that only wears neutrals?

doodahdayy · 15/04/2025 11:33

I would also only wear one bright patterned item that suits my skin tone (I’m very pale and blonde) and leave the rest plain. I live in London. I don’t see why that would be garish or clash with Londons architecture.

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 15/04/2025 11:35

The UK is not just England though, or London. I spoke of the UK. And anyway it’s about the intensity of the colours and the exact undertone as much as whether it is just “blue” or “green” etc. Same way as paint will look completely different depending on whether it is in a N or S facing room etc. Even subtle differences can have quite an impact. And everyone will have a different skin tone at different times depending on how much time they’ve spent in the sun or indoors etc, whether it is winter at the time or not.

Having said what I said, mind you, visiting Italy seems to involve everyone wearing a sea of black puffa jackets so it’s not as though brights are ubiquitous! I’m quite partial to a bright colour myself but I’d have more opportunity to wear it if I was Queen L as above or even Princess Kate etc where it would be fine for me to stand out as one of the few not wearing dowdier colours…

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 15/04/2025 11:36

I was just trying to say that the things I’ve seen for sale abroad often just don’t work in the UK, even though they look great there, that’s all.

MidnightMeltdown · 15/04/2025 11:37

In my experience, it helps to be pretty. Less attractive people rarely look put together, whatever they wear, where’s beautiful people can throw on a bin liner and look good.