To ask how some people making looking so normal so good?

[Upsetbetty]

I’m genuinely baffled, yesterday at work one of the women came in and I was blown away as I am most days. It was Friday so she was dressed a bit more casual. She only had on a pair of mom jeans, and a plain crewneck jumper, but it was to put togetherness that I couldn’t get over. Underneath her jumper, she had a long white sleeve top and the neck of the top could JUST be seen popping up from her jumper, she rolled up her jumper sleeves so you could see the white sleeves underneath, she had a pair of Adidas sambas on. It just looked so perfectly put together and thought out yet so simple at the same time. If I tried to emulate that I would look scruffy!! Just how does she do it? Anyone have any insight? I asked her and she told me where she got said items but I supppse it’s the fit that worked so well.

Good quality clothes, excellent fit, ironing cloths and ensuring hair is properly styled.

I agree, I'm 5ft 4ins tall and short bodied. I regularly hem tops to make them a bit shorter. I've read about the 1/3 2/3 proportion rule where that's the split (can be reversed) - I'm practising. I hope I'm making sense here😀

I’m interested in the curly hair advice please! I don’t use tiktok.

Well…after my inspiration to be better with my style I have

• culled my wardrobe
• tried on everything (which was a trial)
• kept only my favourite/useful pieces
• I decided to create a capsule wardrobe using my favourite colours
• made a list of everything I have
• realised where/what I was lacking
• had a look at capsule wardrobes for inspiration
• decided to make a work wardrobe and a home wardrobe.
• been shopping (online)and will keep going until I’m done

That's some serious dedication OP and something I can only aspire to do one day 😂

I’m so tired after it all 🤣🤣

I always like the idea of a "capsule" wardrobe. My problem is that I am not organised enough with the laundry and so would very quickly run out of clothes and I'd end up back in my leggings and hoody anyway 😂

I think this might be a factor.

I am way more put together now that I am divorced and single. I look back at some photos of myself whilst married and think what on earth.

I honestly think it ties in with the cliche phrase of 'finding yourself', after being through something so traumatic. I also seemed to find what clothes suited me better, and as I had way less money, I definitely thought more about what I did buy.

Basically before this I was just washing with the same shampoo as DP and blasting it with the hair dryer, or going to bed with wet hair (apparently going to bed with wet hair is not good).
So for start I got new shampoo and conditioner, also got a leave in. I got a brand called shae moisture (get it from TK maxx it’s much cheaper). Also, I detangle it with a comb in the shower, and then when I conditioner it I squish the conditioner in in a scrunching motion, wash it out while doing this (google “squish to condish). I then apply leave in conditioner. Then I stopped using my body towel and started using an old t shirt. My niece has a fancy micro fibre towel but I’m not really convinced on that. Squeeze the water out in the same squish/scrunching motion. Then gently wrap the towel or shirt around your head. Rubbing your hair with a towel causes frizz.
I got a diffuser, hover it above my freshly washed hair for a bit till it’s a bit dry, then diffuse (I looked on YouTube for a tutorial and just pick the woman who has hair the most like yours). Sometimes I apply gel, only if it’s humid tho.
My whole hair wash routine now takes a lot longer, and it’s hard to do when little people are running a muck, but it lasts up to 4 days. 5 at a push. I schedule my hair wash days for times DP can rangle and contain the kids. This bit sounds like silly advice, but trust me it’s important. Also now it’s actually kind of nice because it’s a bit more me time.
Sleeping in a silk bonnet is a game changer tho. Your husband and kids will probably laugh at you a bit, but it makes a huge difference and helps it last. I actually revoked this to everyone. Also don’t bother paying too much for this, they’re all the same. Mine was 3.99 from a local hair shop that sells extensions.
If you can, find a hair salon that does curly cuts. It is a bit more expensive, but wow it looks so much better than straight across and blunt like it used to look. They also give good advice and sell great products. For my birthday I’m going to get the gel my hair dresser uses and sells, it’s a bit expensive for now tho.
This may all be obvious to a lot of people, but my mum has pin straight hair and my dad is bald as a dolphin, so no one ever told me. Also DD and DS have very curly hair so I practice on them sometimes as well. It definitely made a difference from the first try, but now after like a year it’s made a big difference. My DD5/ hair is also super nice and much less damaged and frizzy than mine was at her age.

Can you enlighten me about these kibbie types! 😀

I think it’s about finding your style isn’t it? It took me until my 30s. Up until then, sometimes I looked good but a lot of the times I’d miss the mark.
Full disclaimer, I am slim, short but with long legs.

I wear black, navy, dark grey or white. I have the odd baby pink and baby blue top. I am very pale and found I look best in these colours.
I go for simple in general. I’ve just got ready to go out for lunch and have on black high waist skinny jeans with a slightly slouch black thin knit jumper. I was going to wear a dark brown belt and my dark brown fly London boots but have settled on black belt with silver hardware and have matched with my stainless steel bracelet and necklace. I’ll wear with my black fly London boots.

I plan my outfits in my head and then try them out. I also do the same for my home and style that for the seasons. So perhaps it’s a natural flair too? I have an eye for what looks good I think.

It's kibbe body types - it's a theory around what suits different body shapes.

https://theconceptwardrobe.com/kibbe-body-types/the-kibbe-body-type-test

I marvel at these types of women all the time! Just yesterday I was at a kids party and there was a woman there in leopard print trousers which showed her socks, adidas sambas, a slouchy t shirt tucked into the trousers and hair just in an effortless low bun. She looked fantastic. If I dressed like that I would look a complete mess but I don’t know why

So, I’ve downloaded an app and put all of my clothes (and bits I’ve ordered) on it!
Here’s my outfits from my packing list 🙌
I could really get into this 🤣

@Upsetbetty where is the white shirt from please?

I’m small and slim. I think it’s more the slim than the height

I have been heavier and lighter and it’s so much easier to look put together when slim.

It’s from white stuff. The Annie jersey shirt. 100% cotton.

What's the app? That looks addictive!

It actually really is! 🤣 it’s called Getwardrobe.

I started reading this thread yesterday so probably it affected how much attention I paid to my choices but……

I went for lunch and 3 people, 2 of them complete strangers, commented positively on my outfit.

I was wearing….

a cheap blouse from New Look, BUT it had been recommended by a fashion editor of a prominent daily newspaper.

an ancient pair of cargo pants from a High St brand, BUT they were from the petite range (I’m 5ft 2)

my hair badly needs a cut and colour BUT it was freshly washed and blow dried

sandals from a high street chain BUT that are the perfect height for me so I walk well in them plus I think they look fabulous

Also, my 25 yr old son told me I looked great before I left home (which I genuinely think he has only done maybe once before) so I chose to believe him, carried myself well so maybe gave off a confident, happy aura.

Walking round our local town today, I’ve really paid attention to women who I am drawn to visually and the white t shirt appeared more than once.

I really like colour but it was the white / muted beige outfits that stood out as looking most stylish.

I've downloaded the wardrobe app and goodness, it's been an eye opener.

I've also realised I need to invest in a full length mirror 🙃

Love it 🥰

I think it’s about the small details . Like the white t shirt just makes an outfit look more put together .
I think also having neat polished nails , hair that isn’t too long , clean shoes and a pop of jewellery like a simple chain or earrings . All the small details just combine to make you look more together .
I also try to match items . For instance one pair of sambas I have have burgundy stripes so I try to wear something else that is burgundy along with them .
none of my clothes are designer except trainers but I do pay attention to detail . I’m not tall or slim but I’m often told that I look stylish . I never think I do though. I always see other ladies and wish I looked more like them !

I know exactly what you mean, I feel the same. I'm 4"11, huge chest and chunky calves. When I was in my late teens and a 90's size 8, I think I used to look good. But now I'm 49 and more a size 16, I look hideous and or scruffy in pretty much everything 🙃 And I really can't do trainers!