To ask how some people making looking so normal so good?

[Upsetbetty]

I’m genuinely baffled, yesterday at work one of the women came in and I was blown away as I am most days. It was Friday so she was dressed a bit more casual. She only had on a pair of mom jeans, and a plain crewneck jumper, but it was to put togetherness that I couldn’t get over. Underneath her jumper, she had a long white sleeve top and the neck of the top could JUST be seen popping up from her jumper, she rolled up her jumper sleeves so you could see the white sleeves underneath, she had a pair of Adidas sambas on. It just looked so perfectly put together and thought out yet so simple at the same time. If I tried to emulate that I would look scruffy!! Just how does she do it? Anyone have any insight? I asked her and she told me where she got said items but I supppse it’s the fit that worked so well.

Just to add to the slim point. Also, people with great hair, and good skin.
I think hair on a woman is the most essential point, it's impossible to look great with ratty hair.
But thick, shiny hair, good skin (especially a bit golden), and a slim body are key.

There's a childminder at a playgroup like this. She wears a merino wool funnel neck jumper and her jeans are bootcut. Hair in messy pony tail. I've concluded she is (a) a size 6 (b) reasonably well off and (c) quite beautiful which is why my chubby size 16 average looks average wage won't cut it in the same outfit 😅

I often think this, but I've just had a sleeve and have a lot of weight to lose, but I'm also really short. I know if I dressed like that, I would look frumpy and scruffy. So, I think it's about finding your own niche of 'Put togetherness'. Find what fits you well, Google your shape, find something you're comfy in and comfy with. Dress your own togetherness

Tomorrow’s outfit for work…I’ve tried it on and I’m good to go! 😅 I’m going to plan week by week I think…

I once met a woman who looked great in anything. Seriously scruffy trousers and holey jumper and she looked amazing. She seemed to spend way less time and money on her appearance than some others I knew, but always looked great. Luck I guess.

There are some subtle tricks people use to look “put together” and I think for some people it comes naturally but it can be learnt to some extent. I follow a few influencers on Instagram who explain/demonstrate some of the little differences. Style by Claire Lopez is one and another lady I’m struggling to remember.

I should say, I am tall and slim/thin and always look a mess though so it’s clearly not working!

I feel like it’s probably all bought new recently. Like that’s all quite fashionable even if it is casual. There’s probably a lot of thought put into it even to look casual. A bit like a lot of ‘natural’ makeup has quite a lot of layers! My sister is such a shopper and she always looks fab but even casual she has the latest socks, trainers etc and it’s all new. Whereas things need to fall apart before I stop wearing them and never look like that casual haha

I agree but it isn't always that easy for some

No it isn't. Looking outward rather than inward helps.

I have been trying to make small changes to be a bit more put together, and I’ve started with my sloppiest clothes first. So instead of wearing leggings and a shabby hoodie, my slob outfit now black slouchy jumpsuits and a big cardi.

If I would have worn jeans and a sweatshirt I now wear a plain jumper instead.

I don’t think I look stylish by any means but certainly a bit less scruffy than I did!

I agree - I tried so desperately to make outfits I liked on other people work on me, but the clean Scandi architect I was aiming for made me look like a bloke, and the cute ditsy airy fairy summer dress like I was trying to cosplay a 5-yo. I'm a Soft Dramatic in Kibbe and look bloody fabulous in the right style of clothes. Also cheaper, as I don't have so many failed experimental outfits any more.

I've never been able to put my hair up, it's very straight and has a will of its own. My DD on the other hand has straight hair and can just whack it into a clip and look wonderful. Helps to be 5'10" and slim too I think. But I win on the bright white T-shirt front as she doesn't separate her whites properly!

I was just going to say exactly the same thing. I’ve got a friend who’s just a few inches off 6 foot and she makes EVERYTHING look good. She’s not especially slim or have the ‘perfect’ body but clothes just seem to hang off her differently to me. I’m 5’3” and would look dumpy and frumpy

Have you found one? I am desperate for these basics but they always look see through. Can’t stand being able to see my bra through!

There's a great stylist on Instagram and YouTube, Melissa Murrell, who gives loads of tips on how to dress, the right lengths for clothing for your body shape, how to put an outfit together, that kind of thing. Maybe she's picked up some ideas from her (or another stylist)?

Guys have a look at Style it Forward on You Tube. It's really good for simple styling with high street basics.

Where are your white t shirts from pls?

Has one thought about getting a crown?

Since I got my own (gold) one, people (that's you lot) have been quite subservient, and I like it. I like - a lot.

I believe, the Greeks (I know this because my Dad was one) pin money to a lady's dress when she gets married. You could try this as a way of getting one to stand out a little?

A couple of ideas there for you, let me know how you get on.

I need to cull my wardrobe more savagely - I never get rid of enough! Oh and stop buying stuff too. Must try harder 🙈

What do you do to make your hair nice? I e gone from having lovely shiny hair to having really frizzy hair as I approach peri. I also dye my hair as I'm starting to go grey but I just think it's drying out my hair. Have you allowed your grey to come.through? I genuinely wonder if all the messing around with my hair is making it worse...

I read not so long ago that what sets people apart now adays is hair - everyone can buy nice and relatively inexpensive outfits from the high street, but having a quality hair cut that’s regularly maintained is how to make a statement of elegance (and I guess care/put togetherness), it’s obviously not only hugely costly but very time intensive if you’re going every 4 weeks or so!

But the ironing probably helps.

it doesn't just help - it really does set the look at a different level

Great hair and great skin are key - I see very few people with both of these and when I do, they always stand out.

She might have done that with jeans, especially if they are Levi’s. I’m 5,2 as well and it’s hard to find jeans that are the right length and fit well.

It's about knowing what suits you, and putting thought in to your appearance - cheap clothes tend to look cheap. I don't shop for clothes based on liking per se, I look for what will suit me first and buy it if I also like it. My style is simple, I mostly wear black (though I always have bright nails, done at a salon! I hate chipped or uneven nail colour) and I often wear bright trainers or shoes. My colleagues comment how my hair 'just sits' but it doesn't 😂 I spend ages doing my hair, and my make up.

Basically, people who look effortless aren't. I pay attention to every part of my appearance, and I plan what I'm wearing each day. When I get home I get changed into my comfy clothes and I take my jewellery off and polish it, I give my bag a polish and shine the hardware and I clean/polish the shoes or trainers I've been wearing. I take clothes and shoes to the charity shop after a single season of wear, I like everything I wear to look new.

I'm a perfectionist, I can't rest otherwise (I have OCD for sure, but not to the extent some people suffer it).