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AIBU?

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Original poster

fake confession...... am at a lost how to advice dd

85 replies

CosyRubyDreamer · 12/04/2025 06:30

Personally I always just kept to myself in high school so I have little clue how to advice dd moving forward. So dd (16) has been friendly with a girl in her grade via social media since last year and the girl had always been nice to her, like encouraging her and helping her. The girl is very popular and while my dd has friends, she's not like "in the clique". Because of being friendly with the girl, dd had started to interact with her friends too, and one of them seems to be particularly manipulative.

The manipulative friend texted my dd saying how the girl likes dd romantically and dd was skeptical at first but the friend gave all these details about how the girl is scared dd won't want to kiss her, etc. Dd kind of bought into it and texted the girl about it, and she brushed it off. The friend then said the girl was just nervous. Dd probed the girl one more time and the girl faked a confession, and dd thought it was real because she really trusted the girl. The girl kept probing her and dd got the impression from their group that "dating" within their group means being besties for a while so she eventually said yes for the girl to shut it down.

The friend, however, still continued and their group would call out the girl's name when dd walked past them at lunch. Dd decided to probe with the friend one last time in case she hurt the girl and got a dismissive response saying that she doesn't remember. dd then unadded her and the friend messaged her on another platform saying things like "why did you unadd me I'm in tears". Dd ignored her. She has not heard from the girl since the fake confession.

Dd is pretty much done with the friend but she is conflicted about the girl and also their group. The group sometimes interact with dd and dd has a lot of fun as she is very playful and energetic.

What would you advise her? Thank you

OP posts:
Dearover · 12/04/2025 06:41

This sounds like a bunch of 9 year-olds passing someone on the fringes a note saying "my mate fancies you", then all killing themselves laughing when the 10 year old turned up to meet them as suggested in the note. Bullies. Block the lot of them on SM.

1SillySossij · 12/04/2025 06:42

I don't know because I can't follow who is proving who!

1SillySossij · 12/04/2025 06:43

It sounds like your DS has fallen for their prank

Original poster
CosyRubyDreamer · 12/04/2025 06:45

1SillySossij · 12/04/2025 06:42

I don't know because I can't follow who is proving who!

The girl's friend plotted a fake confession and the friend went along with it

OP posts:
Tricho · 12/04/2025 06:48

1SillySossij · 12/04/2025 06:43

It sounds like your DS has fallen for their prank

Dd!

Heteronormativity strikes again

MsCactus · 12/04/2025 06:48

Yeah it sounds like bullying to me. I think they're all teasing/laughing at your DD

Mulledjuice · 12/04/2025 06:48

Confession of what, though?

Watch the film Mean Girls with your DD

Original poster
CosyRubyDreamer · 12/04/2025 06:49

Tricho · 12/04/2025 06:48

Dd!

Heteronormativity strikes again

Show quote history

Actually dd found out that the girl has been dating a guy all along......

OP posts:
Original poster
CosyRubyDreamer · 12/04/2025 06:49

Mulledjuice · 12/04/2025 06:48

Confession of what, though?

Watch the film Mean Girls with your DD

That the girl likes dd romantically

OP posts:
Original poster
CosyRubyDreamer · 12/04/2025 06:56

MsCactus · 12/04/2025 06:48

Yeah it sounds like bullying to me. I think they're all teasing/laughing at your DD

Dd really trusted the girl and thought she was nice so I don't want her to lose that

OP posts:
Dearover · 12/04/2025 06:56

You sound as though you're encouraging your DD to get hurt. I would be encouraging my DD to put away her phone. In the unlikely event that the confession girl genuinely likes her, she's more than capable of having a face to face conversation. However, any SM messages are almost certainly being shared amongst the friendship group. I do hope your DD hasn't sent any messages she'll regret later.

The only positive in this is that your DD seems to be talking to you

WhatNoRaisins · 12/04/2025 06:58

Sounds more like a frenemy than a friend to me. I don't think this is the right group of friends for your DD but you can only advise her, she might not take your advice.

Original poster
CosyRubyDreamer · 12/04/2025 06:58

Dearover · 12/04/2025 06:56

You sound as though you're encouraging your DD to get hurt. I would be encouraging my DD to put away her phone. In the unlikely event that the confession girl genuinely likes her, she's more than capable of having a face to face conversation. However, any SM messages are almost certainly being shared amongst the friendship group. I do hope your DD hasn't sent any messages she'll regret later.

The only positive in this is that your DD seems to be talking to you

Oh I'm pretty sure the girl doesn't actually like her but dd only just found that out and she is not texting them now.

OP posts:
Original poster
CosyRubyDreamer · 12/04/2025 06:58

WhatNoRaisins · 12/04/2025 06:58

Sounds more like a frenemy than a friend to me. I don't think this is the right group of friends for your DD but you can only advise her, she might not take your advice.

So are they actually bullies or are we just being sensitive here

OP posts:
Original poster
CosyRubyDreamer · 12/04/2025 07:01

Dearover · 12/04/2025 06:56

You sound as though you're encouraging your DD to get hurt. I would be encouraging my DD to put away her phone. In the unlikely event that the confession girl genuinely likes her, she's more than capable of having a face to face conversation. However, any SM messages are almost certainly being shared amongst the friendship group. I do hope your DD hasn't sent any messages she'll regret later.

The only positive in this is that your DD seems to be talking to you

Dd said she did send quite a few messages being confused and like wanting to know whats going on that can be twisted to look like she does like the girl......

OP posts:
Dearover · 12/04/2025 07:03

Block the lot, step away from sM and encourage her to focus on her GCSEs or exams for the next couple of months. Your DD doesn't need this bullying / drama so put a stop to it now.

Original poster
CosyRubyDreamer · 12/04/2025 07:04

Dearover · 12/04/2025 07:03

Block the lot, step away from sM and encourage her to focus on her GCSEs or exams for the next couple of months. Your DD doesn't need this bullying / drama so put a stop to it now.

We are in Australia and they are on holidays now and dd has no clue how to act when back at school in a week

OP posts:
Lostcat · 12/04/2025 07:04

CosyRubyDreamer · 12/04/2025 06:58

So are they actually bullies or are we just being sensitive here

Show quote history

Not being sensitive. This is bullying. Your poor DD. She’s better to stay away from all of them.

Original poster
CosyRubyDreamer · 12/04/2025 07:05

Lostcat · 12/04/2025 07:04

Not being sensitive. This is bullying. Your poor DD. She’s better to stay away from all of them.

Show quote history

Would it be a good idea if I advice dd to tell her head of year about it?

OP posts:
NeedToChangeName · 12/04/2025 07:14

I don't really understand what's happened but I've always encouraged my children to think carefully whether friends have their best interests at heart, and avoid people who don't

I'm struggling to understand why you're keen for your DD to hang out with these people. Are they the cool crowd, and you're keen for her to be included, even when they're laughing at her? I'm not really understanding why you're pushing this relationship

Original poster
CosyRubyDreamer · 12/04/2025 07:16

NeedToChangeName · 12/04/2025 07:14

I don't really understand what's happened but I've always encouraged my children to think carefully whether friends have their best interests at heart, and avoid people who don't

I'm struggling to understand why you're keen for your DD to hang out with these people. Are they the cool crowd, and you're keen for her to be included, even when they're laughing at her? I'm not really understanding why you're pushing this relationship

I am not pushing the relationship but dd herself liked interacting with them and the girl had always been nice to her. But this incident really threw her off.

OP posts:
WhatNoRaisins · 12/04/2025 07:24

In my experience at school, even if you're genuinely friends with one person, it never works out well if they are part of a tight group with other members that treat you badly.

Lostcat · 12/04/2025 07:25

CosyRubyDreamer · 12/04/2025 07:05

Would it be a good idea if I advice dd to tell her head of year about it?

Show quote history

I’m not sure on that. I suppose for me it would depend on how upset DD was about it and whether it was an ongoing source of upset. You don’t want to over intervene and make things worse. How is your dd? Sounds like she has handled things well in removing the “friend”. Can she block her on other channels too?

Redburnett · 12/04/2025 07:27

It is hard to believe that even AI came up with this nonsense.

Original poster
CosyRubyDreamer · 12/04/2025 07:30

Lostcat · 12/04/2025 07:25

I’m not sure on that. I suppose for me it would depend on how upset DD was about it and whether it was an ongoing source of upset. You don’t want to over intervene and make things worse. How is your dd? Sounds like she has handled things well in removing the “friend”. Can she block her on other channels too?

Show quote history

She unadded her on snapchat and unfollowed her on instagram. Dd now feels humiliated and has no clue how this is going to turn out.

OP posts:
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