AIBU to feel scammed by breastfeeding

[PickledElectricity]

Kind of joking, kind of not.

I breastfed my DS until he was 19 months old (he's now 2) and despite this he's had every bug going at nursery, is allergic to nuts and now seems to have hay fever! I'm gutted as he loves to be outside and is now sneezing, congested, has puffy red eyes and a runny nose.

Where are the miracle benefits I was promised?!

Don't get me wrong, I'm very glad I did it, it was lovely for bonding and saved my life and sanity in the middle of the night, and tbh I am a very lazy person and couldn't face washing and sterilising bottles every single day.

Oh really? What do you think is cruel?

I personally think it is cruel to not give your baby the best start in life when you are able to 🤷‍♀️

That just isn’t true. The benefits of breastfeeding are there regardless of the mother’s happiness.

Yes sometimes it is a con, as allergies and asthma, can be inherited, so breastfeeding feeding won't stop that. It does not give you all the protections it promises, it may have the potential to reduce, but does not stop it.

Having a depressed mother/mother with low mood has a huge impact on kids, particularly young babies. It has been shown to impact IQ and emotional regulation of that baby for life!

By contrast, a lot of breastfeeding benefits are minimal. For example, if you look into the studies on the immunity benefits - they compare bottle fed babies in developing countries that don't have access to clean water and don't sterilise the bottles. Of course the babies got sicker! When you control for these things - clean water, clean bottles - the immunity benefits disappear or are incredibly minimal in studies.

Genuinely it's really interesting once you actually dig into the science on this stuff. But in a nutshell: if breastfeeding is making you depressed, it'll have a more negative impact on your baby, you're better off bottle feeding. If you love breastfeeding (as lots do) then it's win win. But you can't look at breastfeeding in isolation without looking at everything else that impacts young babies and their outcomes!

I don't even have any regrets about breastfeeding my two and I think a lot of the benefits are over egged.

Missing the point, really!

I think breastfeeding and formula feeding get equal bashing by either side honestly.

Breastfeeding mums are always accused of being smug and told that there's no point to breastfeeding because the kids all turn out the same.

And the formula feeding mums get told they're selfish and not doing the best for their child.

Maybe we should all just mind our own business and feed our babies how we think is best for us/them.

I completely agree. My mom always says: Us, women and specially mothers, are always wrong, always to blame, always mistaken, so do what the hell you want anyway.

Well I'm obviously a really shit parent - and guess what? I don't care! However, I certainly would never be as judgy about other people's choices and decisions as you obviously are - I'm happy for people to do whatever suits them and their particular circumstances best, without feeling any need to shame them. Maybe you should try it? You might find you'd have more friends!

Think of all the money you saved from not buying formula, and stop complaining.

I do honestly think the benefits of breastfeeding are over stated.

I didn't breastfeed my son at all. He was born at 9lb 6oz, by emergency c-section after a long labour. I had antibiotics and 2 pints of blood transfused post delivery and was badly anaemic. So, he was formula fed from birth and I didn't do baby led weaning (couldn't cope with the risk of choking)

He is 11 now. Tall, very slim, fit and never gets anything in terms of bugs/illnesses. Honestly cannot remember when he was last ill. He got chicken pox at 18 months but sailed through it - not bothered at all. He eats anything and everything including a wide variety of fruit and veg. No allergies at all. Very bright academically.

My friend exclusively breastfed both her children and did BLW - they have had no end of illnesses, one has an allergy, fussy eaters.

Obviously this is a very small sample size, but not breastfeeding has done my son no harm what so ever, despite the so called 'benefits' I was told about.

Mostly it’s a choice, I found breastfeeding cheaper. No sterilising, save£700 a year . If vegetarian or vegan not good using formula as it has 47 ingredients, an early upf . Fish oils and cows milk , I made a choice and it’s up to others to make theirs . I don’t demonise either, just use facts . We should support one another it’s difficult as it is without judging each other .

That’s not true, your body will detect the infection your child has picked up at nursery when you breastfeed them, and deliver relevant antibodies to your child at the next feed.

However it’s not a magical forcefield, breastfed babies still pick up infections, but a formula fed baby will pick up more infections and be sicker for longer.

Breastfeeding doesn’t reduce the risk of anything, not breastfeeding increases the risks of a lot of health issues for both mother and baby, both short and long term.

I could write this about the illness too! Scammed lol

“if you look into the studies on the immunity benefits - they compare bottle fed babies in developing countries that don't have access to clean water and don't sterilise the bottles. Of course the babies got sicker! When you control for these things - clean water, clean bottles - the immunity benefits disappear or are incredibly minimal in studies.”

Sorry @MsCactusbut this is absolute nonsense. These studies are not based on babies in developing countries, they are done with all kinds of variables taken into account.

I agree. You don’t need supplements but did anyone find that certain foods increased supply? I found certain teas, if I ate well etc then my supply would increase. If I skipped breakfast or ate less than usual my supply would be low - and I found this out months into breastfeeding.

Plus breastfeeding made me so hungry anyway that I was always eating, but I noticed a difference when I didn’t or I I had a day were I had more processed food than usual.

I’ll add that I think different foods work for different women but nutrition whilst breastfeeding is something that I found zero information about, health professionals mentioned nothing and I learned knowledge from mums that had breastfed.

Well he may have ended up in hospital with those bugs without the BF.

You have no control group for either child. So it’s likely your kids would get over illnesses even quicker with BF, the allergies would be worse for your mate’s kid without BF. Your anecdote doesn’t undermine the wealth of strong evidence on BF.

That’s not true at all about the immunity benefits studies. There are plenty of very robust studies showing the immunity benefits of breastfeeding. It’s even possible to scientifically observe something called retroactive flow where the baby passes pathogens into the mother’s body via her nipples, and the mother then develops antibodies to those pathogens. It’s really an amazing thing. The immunity benefits are one of the most OBVIOUS benefits of BF, and no scientist would disagree.

That’s not true, you’ll still make antibodies as she will pass the pathogens on to you. But the viral load will be higher as kids get so sick and then go to nursery. But if you weren’t BF then it would be worse. She’s also well protected if she gets a sickness bug etc and will still usually want to BF whereas formula fed babies are more likely to need hospital treatment for dehydration. Not to mention the long term benefits.

This.

Well yeah. No one can tell, too, looking at a class of 5 year olds which ones drink fruit shoots every day and have daily sweets. It doesn’t mean that it has no benefits because you can’t see it externally! What a silly argument!

It’s not a myth, as a basic grasp or fact and science will tell you.

Shit parent here too! I have 3 happy, healthy formula fed children.

Weird since I apparently fed them poison.