Guy just doesn’t speak

[Rememberthelittlesthobo]

Would you find it awkward?

A couple of times per week, I go to teach at a house, the child is amazing, dad is nice, but never really speaks to me, aside from to say Hi. He doesn’t engage in the normal social niceties most others do. It doesn’t actually bother me as I don’t love small talk, but will partake in it to be polite.
Is this normal, would you take it personally? I’m wondering if he’s neurodiverse perhaps

He might just not want to chat. It's strange that you only do small talk to be polite, but have an issue with someone who also doesn't like small talk.

It doesn’t actually bother me as I don’t love small talk, but will partake in it to be polite.

Maybe he doesn't feel the need to do this, especially as you're there to teach?

I'm a talker and I love meeting new people but not everyone's the same.

Is there any reason why you're wondering if he’s neurodiverse?

I don't really do small talk in situations like that and am NT.

I'm not sure what the actual problem is here. You don't like small talk, apparently he doesn't either and your not bothered.

If you’re a tutor coming to the house I’m not sure what you’re expecting from him. He doesn’t owe you small talk, concentrate on your job

He’s just very awkward, shy maybe, i’m not sure

He definitely doesn’t have to chat, but it’s just the usual thing when you go to someone’s home I suppose?

Yes but why are you wondering if he’s neurodiverse?

Can't you just accept someone might not want to talk to you?

Ok

Of course he doesn’t owe me anything and I do concentrate on my job, but we’re always in the same room at the start for 5 minutes or so, just us, whilst she gets her books. It’s just usually more typical for people to make small talk I thought

People have different personalities.

Of course, but if someone comes to my home to do a job (our babysitter for example) I obviously talk to her and make small talk and want to make her feel comfortable

For sure, but I think i’d feel rude doing that and i’m quite a shy person, but I make myself do it..maybe it’s me

You would feel rude as that’s your personality, others are different.

So your issue is that someone is doing things differently to you?

He’s not your mate. He hired you as a tutor for his child. Crack on with that.

You say he is " nice".

You say it doesn't bother you because you " don't love small talk".

Then what is your problem?

It sounds as though your ego is hurt because he isn't chatting you up actually.

You certainly don't come over as very professional OP.

You're the hired hand, of course he's not going to enthuse over you.

I used to work as a tutor. Some families would have a good old chat with me - asked about my life etc. Another family, the housekeeper opened the door and ushered me through to the kids room; I think I spoke to the parents about twice in a year. People are different. As long as he's not actively rude, I wouldn't think anything of it.

He's not Scandinavian is he? Entirely normal for them!

This ^

Why on earth are you armchair diagnosing him. It’s none of your business and you’re being paid to teach his son.

I don't understand what the issue is. By ascertaining whether it's odd or not, what are you trying to achieve? Do you want to stop tutoring the child because of this? If it does not affect your job, why are you taking his behaviour so personally?

Hello is enough. You aren’t there for small talk.

I find it odd that as as shy person you aren’t joyfully relieved that you have at least one situation where you don’t feel forced to make small talk just to be polite.

He probably just doesn't want to waste your time so you can get on with the lesson

I'm a big bloke. If I'm in the house by myself and a woman comes in to do some work I feel a bit uncomfortable as I don't want to make her feel like I'm some kind of threat. That could very easily mean I don't say much and then make myself scarce.

I did that entirely by accident once as I was staying in a house with a weird front door that was a bit like a patio door in that if you didn't lock it from the inside it could be opened from the outside without a key. A plumber came round to check the boiler and after she walked in I, entirely out of habit, locked the front door. Judging by the look on her face she (entirely understandably) interpreted that as "he's just locked me in here with him". I was mortified.

Chatting me up?!! I’m married, I’m talking about just being polite

He is SO into you that he dare not speak in your presence, lest proclamations of love slip out.