How would moving in with a non beef eater work for you?

[Losdy]

About to move in with my Sikh boyfriend. He doesn’t eat beef. Weirdly one of his sisters does and so do a few of his cousins. He says they just ended up eating beef when they moved out but he finds the idea squeamish. Fair enough.

So I try to be considerate and not order it when we go out. Boyfriend said he doesn’t mind me ordering. Occasionally if I am craving a burger I will order it with bf in attendance. But do my best not to. It’s worked out fine as obviously it’s not that much of a sacrifice with it being the occasional meal.

Anyway, now we are moving in I’m really not sure what to do. Is it okay for me to keep beef in the fridge? We eat a lot of the same meals but boyfriend will make turkey chilli for example when I would have made it with beef mince.

Boyfriend said that nowhere does it explicitly state that Sikhs are prohibited to eat beef. It’s more a cultural thing and something done out of respect as Sikhs often live in close proximity to Hindus in India so they tend not to eat it out of respect. Boyfriend said he was told from a young age that cows give you milk like your mother so out of respect he was raised not to eat beef. An idea which he can’t shake off even though he has no moral obligation. A bit brainwash-y but oh well. AND some of his family members eat it!

So why do I feel like a bad person for not wanting to sacrifice beef for the rest of my life. Especially when it’s not even a religious command for him.

what would you do if it were you? I’m sure plenty of people are in similar situations

I'd find this a problem too, tbh. Like you, i eat a lot of beef in stews, lasagne, chilli, cottage pie, steaks, burgers, meatballs etc. I'm not a fan of turkey or lamb substitutes so mostly we eat beef, pork and chicken. Also fish and the very occasional veggie meal. I do the cooking so maybe it's slightly different if your DP cooks, but if you have children together you will basically have to give up your preferred foods to please him? You might get the odd burger out but food at home will all be his choices....

We eat less beef than we otherwise would because of DH - he tries to keep it minimal due to high cholesterol but I cook with beef a few times a month, otherwise we end up just eating chicken and I get bored. He eats it when I cook it. I'd find it a bit annoying to cut out beef entirely when cooking family meals. I tend to cook for the whole household as I work pt so it would bother me to cook separate meals (I already cook separately for younger dcs as they're fussy).

Don’t have it at home, do order it when you go out. Easy. Also talk to him about how he feels about you having it in the house. If might be fine, though I wouldn’t want the faff of cooking two different dinners.

I feed my dog Bull pizzle. I will never eat an animals penis.

Same for lamb testicle, duck feet, rabbit ears (with fur), camel skin, pigs snout....
I would never eat any of those in a million years!

I'm veggie, but my husband and children (plus dog and cats) aren't. I have no issue in them having meat and indeed cook meals for them that include it - I just don't eat it myself. It's personal choice. It sounds like your partner has no issues with you eating what you want, so just crack on. Definitely not a hill to die on if it's otherwise a happy relationship.

My daughter doesn’t eat beef and hasn’t for years. It doesn’t affect me at all, if I’m desperate for a steak or something I just order one when I’m out. I don’t bother having beef in the house but wouldn’t assiduously avoid having something with beef in, I’d just warn her not to eat it.

I only eat poultry (no red meat), not for religious reasons but just a decision I made and now feel committed to. DH and DD can eat absolutely anything they want; I don't care what's stored in the fridge/freezer etc - I just don't want to eat it.

I'm not really understanding your dilemma here - he's fine with you eating it, so why are you stressing about it?

My hubby eats pork. He has specific pans for cooking it and will make me a seprate meal when he and the kids have pork. It dosent bother me in the least that they eat it.

That’s^ me as well. I rarely eat beef, I just don’t like it much.
If it was cheese …. It would be a different story.

That said moving in with someone who ate Marmite would be an absolute deal breaker!!

This would be a non-issue for me.

People are entitled to eat what they want and avoid things they don't, whether it be for medical, religious or just personal taste reasons.

It's easy to live with someone who eats differently to you, and it's only beef! Hardly a daily essential.

Believe me, living with a coeliac can be hard work, but again, 100% doable. My other half can't eat hazelnuts but does that stop me & DS eating Nutella? Heck no! We just eat it away from him and wash surfaces/cutlery well.

I'd just go out to eat beef and let him do what he wants to do. It doesn't sound like he's bothered by you eating it.

Me too.

Maybe one steak and one beef joint a year, plus a random burger or salt-beef sandwich along the way.

It's not like he's banned bread from the house!

i eat beef 2-3 times a week, i wouldnt stop for anyone.

As long as he doesnt mind it in the fridge for you to cook & eat, its a non issue?

This is a you problem, not a him problem. He’s said he doesn’t mind if you eat it.

Personally I rarely eat beef due to its environmental impact - chicken for example is much better. So this wouldn't be a problem for me.

But in general, it depends whether he is respectful of your wishes and beliefs around it - respect in a relationship needs to go both ways.

Why don't you ask him instead of a bunch of internet strangers? No I wouldn't be willing to change my eating habits when moving in with someone, that's why I couldn't date a vegan or vegetarian or someone kosher or halal or whatever.

It sounds like you're inventing a problem here. He's said he doesn't mind what you do but would prefer any future children to not eat beef.

Are you being deliberately silly or hard of understanding? The dog is eating it, not him. You are eating it, not him. What’s the difficult bit that you are struggling to understand?
he made a personal choice, isn’t restricting you so what is the problem?

"Is it ok to keep beef in the fridge?

Ask your boyfriend, its him you share the fridge with, not strangers on mumsnet.😂

The beef thing won't bother me. However, (and please excuse my ignorance don't know much about Sikhism) I'm not sure I could date someone whose life in terms of religion was different to mine

I have friends who are vegetarian and their DDs both eat meat. If I stay with them I do get the choice of eating what they do or what their DDs do