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AIBU?

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Original poster

Email from my ex husband...

458 replies

Arlanymor · 09/04/2025 17:12

Dear Arlanymor, sincerely hope you are well. I need to know the date of our wedding because I have to fill in an X form. Are you able to remember please? Best regards, Ex Wanker.

Sent to my WORK email. Which means he had to look it up online.

I divorced him for adultery nearly two decades ago now. Also the clue is in 'our wedding' isn't it? You were there on the day dickhead. We haven't been in contact since 2019 when he kept coming up as having looked at my profile on LinkedIn and I got in touch via their messenger to ask him not to.

This has got me so angry. "Oh Arlanymor - do me a favour please? Even though I am a cheating arsehole and should be able to fill in forms without bothering/the assistance of my ex-wife." The date is on the decree absolute you absolute toilet goblin.

FUMING. FUMING. FUMING.

OP posts:
Efrogwraig · 09/04/2025 21:20

Just reply that you have forgotten too.

EilishMcCandlish · 09/04/2025 21:20

'The time it took you stalking me to find my email address could have been more productively used looking for the information you need'.

Serenitymummy · 09/04/2025 21:26

🙋another just popped in to say I also will be adopting "toilet goblin" going forwards!

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 09/04/2025 21:37

Just wilfully misunderstand what he's getting at, then mark as spam.

Dear Toilet Goblin

Yes, I am able to remember the date and will be able to put it in a form if need be. Thank you for your concern.

Best regards,

Arlanymor

DevilledEgg · 09/04/2025 21:40

I'd reply "It is inappropriate to contact me at work for matters not pertaining to my work."

I'd give him no answers. That's not your business. Even if he's lost his decree absolute, the information he wants to know is public record so he can get off his lazy ass and go find out.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 09/04/2025 21:40

Of course he remembers, he just wanted to get in touch.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 09/04/2025 21:40

Toilet goblin!!!!!

ThisFluentBiscuit · 09/04/2025 21:44

Katemax82 · 09/04/2025 17:26

My husband of 25 years can't remember our wedding date

Does he have memory issues or anything else that would make sense? Getting married is a massive, massive date in someone's life. I would find it extremely hard to believe that someone didn't know it, except for medical issues. If none, sounds like a bit of "I care less than you do, ner ner ner-ner ner" crap. I would be appalled if my husband genuinely couldn't remember it and would suggest taking him for an Alzheimer's assessment if he really couldn't.

crockofshite · 09/04/2025 21:49

You could reply .....

Oh god, don't tell me we were actually married!

Then block.

JorgyPorgy · 09/04/2025 21:50

Sounds like he wanted an excuse to contact you OP. Probably best to ignore & block .

Discobooloo · 09/04/2025 21:51

Ignore him and set up a mailbox rule that automatically moves anything from his email address to your deletes folder (and marks as read so you don't see an unread email in your this folder)

Ellie56 · 09/04/2025 21:57

Don't bother helping the toilet goblin. He can get off his arse and look it up himself, the lazy git.

Just send him an Out of Office notice then delete.

Eddielizzard · 09/04/2025 22:07

I wouldn't respond. Make him work a bit harder for it.

He wants to get in contact. Of course he knows. He can't resist a little needle. Ignore it.

StressedLP1 · 09/04/2025 22:12

“No I can’t remember either. Hope you get it sorted”

then block the cheeky fucker.

Matildahoney · 09/04/2025 22:13

Delete, if he gets in contact another way, claim it must have gone into your junk email

ToffeePennie · 09/04/2025 22:14

Delete and block. He is *puke incarnate

LadyRoughDiamond · 09/04/2025 22:18

Perhaps just reply with ‘Unsubscribe’, then block.

clickyteeclick · 09/04/2025 22:20

I encourage you to put a completely made up date … in 1917

Iamnotalemming · 09/04/2025 22:21

"I think it was 1 April wasn't it? Can't remember the year though."

Fraaances · 09/04/2025 22:22

Let him spend his money to apply for a copy through the courts. Or births, deaths & marriages. Ignore him and have a story to tell your friends… “You’ll never believe what the Toilet Goblin just did….”

HarpieDuJour · 09/04/2025 22:22

If his job requires vetting of even his former wife, then surely he has the ability to work out how Google works and find the process for getting a copy if the documents he needs?
Do you think this is a stealth brag about a big promotion?

k1233 · 09/04/2025 22:25

I'd be super vague, if I replied at all. After all, it's very easy to lose emails in a busy inbox. If I felt like replying it would be a one liner, no pleasantries, "it was so long ago I can't remember"

ThinWomansBrain · 09/04/2025 22:26

Aliflowers · 09/04/2025 17:18

I’d reply I can’t remember.

I can’t remember - it's quite normal for the mind to block the detail of traumatic events

SpringIsSpringing25 · 09/04/2025 22:38

diddl · 09/04/2025 17:58

Why do posters think Op should tell him?

To "be kind"?

Nope.

For her OWN good. It would have taken two seconds and it would've all been over, instead of being so wound up by it she started a thread and is now going to spend the evening night contemplating what her response will be or if she will even respond that's a lot of time thinking about him in the situation when she could've simply resolved it in two seconds

BrightYellowDaffodil · 09/04/2025 22:41

Dear Bog Goblin,

Thank you for your email. Unfortunately I have erased the raging binfire that was our marriage from my memory and I am therefore unable to help you with your query.

With best wishes and a fervent desire for you not to contact me again with your tedious life admin,

Arlanymor.

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