To think of myself as a girl at 50? [Light-hearted]

[ThisFluentBiscuit]

Well, I'm sorry, but I do. I don't think I've aged much at all - I don't look much different from when I was 28 I think, (🤭) and I looked girlish then. I'd rather be a girl, which has connotations of freedom and fun, than a woman, which has connotations of too much responsibility!

I think being called a girl is a big compliment. It means you look young. It's equivalent in the States to being called Miss instead of Ma'am. The dreaded ma'am!!!

This thread has been inspired by another thread where the OP says he's confused by a girl at work, who is 41. Some posters objected to any female over the age of 18 being called a girl.

Well, I'll still be identifying as a girl when I'm 80, probably!

Older celebrity women around my age who I think of as girls:
Kate Moss
Jennifer Aniston
Victoria Beckham

In my mind, the above and me are all still 28 but could pass for much younger. 😂😂😂

It's a good day when I'm referred to as a girl. 🤪 Also - and this is the most important part - even though my parents are dead and I'm post-menopausal, I FEEL like a girl!

So, AIBU??

I know that the OP wants this to be a light hearted thread but I think that it's a bit odd to want to think of yourself as a girl.

Like a pp, I'm ok with the terms girls night out and girls holiday. My 80+ year old mum talks about "meeting the girls" for coffee and that's fine.

But I would never want to think of myself as a girl. I equate it with being silly, superficial and frivolous. Fine if that's how others want to be/see themselves but I would hate it.

I don't see being a woman as being burdened with cares and responsibilities. I see it as being strong, fierce and independent.

I'm a middle aged woman and very content with that. Since becoming involved with women's rights campaigning a few years ago, I have met so many amazing women and the word has become very important to me.

Isn't it a bit sexist to equate being a girl with being silly, superficial, and frivolous? Are all females under 18 so?

I don't see the word like that at all!

This reminds me of that Finley Christie but where he talks about being a man Vs being a boy
Q

Its interesting and a bit sad that the word girl has such negative associations of silliness, being coqettish, coy, frivolous and so on. Its the word for our daughters and our young selves. If it conjures up for you visions of pink giggly fluff, wanting to attract male attention and light weight interests, then you need to check your stereotypes. It could just as easily mean feeling young, fit, vibrant, with possibilities and opportunities ahead.

I think you are delusional to think you look 28
need photo! Also who cares , hate agism

Girls are young, immature, inexperienced, often naive. Because they are young.
Woman on the other hand are mature, experienced, wise. Because they are adults, who have been knocking around for a while. They are also fun, sexy, playful, joyful and a million and one other fabulous things, but they bring with it all that lovely depth of womanhood. Why would you want to minimise all of those years of experiences, memories, lessons learned to cling on to 'being a girl'?!

I am enjoying your energy OP!

One thing I have observed is that the females in my life who are in their fifties and definitely more girls than the females in my life who are mid 30s/early 40s (I fall in to the latter age group) makes me look forward to getting older tbh

It's just a figure of speech really.
Yes officially girls and boys are under 18, but my Nan went "out with the girls" twice a month until one by one they died or were incapable in their 70s and 80s.
My friends and I have girls weekends and nights out, we are all heading towards 60.
DH goes to Download with the boys or a night out with the lads. The oldest is a grandfather in his mid 60s.
Doesn't actually mean anything

I’m the opposite I hate being reference to as a girl or the girls. I push back when it happens that I’m a grown up not a child

hey Ho each to their own

I think the true guage of if you really are viewed as a girl still is to see how others refer to you! You may think you’re this carefree “girl” not changed much since your 20’s but it’s quickly dispelled when the retail assistant/waiter/other reminds you “We’re closing soon madam!” & the delusion bubble is truly burst. I remember it all the more for some reason from times in France where I was (what felt like all of a sudden) no longer “ a madmoiselle” or “jeune fille” but “madam”. Even though I dislike the derogatory use of “girl” I still viewed & saw myself & others as that, when it suited me. Fairweather feminist that I am!

Oops that shld read Madame (with the e) in French!

I’m still a girl at 64 - feck those who judge!!

I don't equate actual girls as silly, superficial and frivolous.

But the whole premise of the thread is based on the stereotypes and those are phrases which come to my mind when I think of grown women who choose to think of themselves as girls.

Words are funny old things and mean different things to different people.

I’m one of those who ‘go out with the girls’ however if someone asked me I’d say I was female and swerve both girl and woman!

To me girl represents young, which I’m not and woman I can’t get Tarzan/caveman out of my head ‘me man, you woman!’ Which makes me cringe.

I also hate that both female and woman have male/man in them, whereas girl has no male connotations. I’m also northern so use lads and lasses more often than not.

@PositivityVibes and woman I can’t get Tarzan/caveman out of my head ‘me man, you woman!’

LMAO, yes, I know what you mean!

Couple of years off 40.

I don't want to sound older than I am. My brain is appalled that my body hasn't stayed as young as it should have 😆

If I was dating, I'd want to be a girlfriend, not a ladyfriend. Urgh.

I don't understand the problem. I go out with the girls too, and not one of them has mentioned that we should change it to 'the ladies' or 'the women'.

I have actually grown up and have many responsibilities and a career, so I wouldn't assume somebody was infantising me. I don't need to prove myself to anyone.

I saw the same thread and couldn't believe how many comments were about the word 'girl'. It's a word. I am a female, woman, girl - they are all the same thing.

But we don't worry when people can decide they are now a robot (or whatever else you may fancy).

At least I am a girl 🤷‍♀️

Can't speak for the OP, but I absolutely do. I'm 49 and at a pub quiz with some friends last week said to the quizmaster "That boy over there will come and give you our team's entry fee in a minute". The 'boy' in question is 30 years old and has a wife and a child.

My mum will often describe her peers as 'girls'. Eg 'Did I tell you I met up with my cousin Christine last week? It must be ten years since I last saw her. We had a great time, she's a lovely girl'. Mum and Christine are both 80.

Haha, I was furious the time I got called 'Madame' in France after numerous holidays always getting called 'Mademoiselle'.

It definitely seems to be a girl thing to use fack, feck or f*ck when you really mean fuck!

Odd, self-worth invested in looks and men, desperate, silly, not someone I would want to hang out with, silly, someone I'd give a wide swerve to, only women are capable of discussing politics and literature....wow, tough crowd!

May I suggest that some of you re-discover some youthful positivity? Negativity is so ageing.

I’m 49 & I’m a girl.

The other day in Tesco the young man on the tills ID’d the girl beside me (who was with her teenage daughter). We liked him!

Think of yourself however you like, who cares!?
Although I will say Ive never yet seen anybody who claimed to look decades younger and actually did! The best Ive seen is really well maintained versions of peoples actual age.😄

But i am a firm believer that your age shouldnt define your habits, looks or behaviour. If you want to skateboard at 60 or embroider at 12 then you do you!

You're not a girl now and you weren't a girl at 28. How you want to think of yourself is your own business, but if you tell people you can expect them to disagree if it doesn't reflect reality.

Personally I'd never use 'girl' in a context where it would be weird or inappropriate to say 'boy' if the person in question were male. When adult men are called 'boy' it's generally belittling. There's a reason for that.

I'm guessing that the last line is supposed to be a joke.

Some of us have negative connotations about the word girl (when used by adult women to describe themselves; not when referring to actual girls) just as your op had very negative connotations about the word woman. We're all dealing in broad stereotypes.

Personally, I don't give a fuck that I'm ageing. I'm lucky in that I wasn't pretty when I was young so don't have any lost looks to mourn. I genuinely don't give a toss about my wrinkles and grey hairs.

I feel much more confident as a middle aged woman than I ever did when I was young enough to plausibly call myself a girl.

I'm with you on this , I will always refer to myself as a girl even if I'm 100 yes old. I hate people saying that woman or that lady , makes me feel old. The other day someone stopped me they were on the phone and said to the other person I'm just asking this girl. Felt so chuffed