45k salary entirely eaten by childcare

[Sofiewoo]

Granted salaries aren’t what they were only a handful of years ago but aibu to be shocked that my 45k salary is now entirely eaten by childcare and getting to work??
I figured if you are earning in the 20s you would assume that but not mid 40s!

I’m trying to weigh up whether to just take the next year and a half off instead of working for nothing. I know, pension, career blah blah but it’s mentally very difficult to juggle drop offs, work schedules and sickness but be no better off financially at the end of the month.

Did anyone else not realise it was a bad as this?

The most shocking thing about this thread is not the fact that childcare is so painful expensive for the average family, it's the huge mental gymnastics so many other women will go through to make sure that the OP knows this is obviously all her fault and keep their head in the sand. Another fucking MN race to the bottom. Can't believe you're not working for the love it OP, but also raising your kids yourself because anything else is abuse, but obviously don't you dare try and watch the kids while working from home or anything because that would undermine the rest of us yadda yadda yadda.

You can't win OP, I can only echo exploring any kind of unpaid sabbatical so that at least you get some restbite and coverage for sickness etc and then going back for the normal boring reasons of penions and progression but for a slightly shorter number of painful months. Then you can start working to pay for wraparound care.

Some councils give 100% free places if on universal credit.

Have a look on the local cm page

I’m always seeing local to me cm saying they have a spare place and tons of people reply

or new cm setting up so have places

Possibly a nannyshare tho have to pay min wage per family

or nwoc would be cheaper

Lucky you. On UC and we have had to pay nearly £100 a week on nursery fees which we have barely been able to afford upfront whilst you seeming got it for free on a higher wage than us (I am guessing by your post). Nice.

We are the same OP. 4 year old and 1 year old, we are Home Counties. Our bill is £2200 a month and they both only go 3 days as I only work 3 days. Working full time would just simply not be worth it. I earn about 70k full time so probably about the same as you for my PT hours. My DH earns 50k ish. We are struggling to afford a summer holiday with mortgage rates and childcare costs. It’s absolutely crazy.

I’m reducing my youngest down to term time only when my eldest goes to school, it’s going to save me an absolute fortune. No idea how I’ll manage the holidays but sure I’ll figure something out! I’d like another baby but as you say the fees have gone up so much I dread to think how much they’ll be in another couple of years.

If the nursery are saying that fees have to go up by 20% due to the employer 1.2% NIC rise, they are price gouging. They know places are in short supply and taking full advantage of that.

It’s ridiculous that we don’t have enough maintained nursery provision - they usually have better qualified staff too.

https://committees.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/86728/pdf/

Never mind the money, what was the point of going to all that trouble to have two children if you're not at home to enjoy them and bring them up and savour every day you have with them and see all their milestones?

Paying the bills?

Women can enjoy their children, bring them up and work.
Attitudes like this aren’t helpful.

Maybe the milestones can pay the bills?
First steps would surely be the mortgage equivalent?
First jump maybe more like the gas bill?

I felt like that too. I had no family to help and didn't like the thought of putting them in nursery. There are some awful staff in some nurseries like the one who killed baby Genevieve. I took a few years out then did low level jobs to fit around school. I wasn't able to pick up my career though at the same level so I understand why some people want or need to work.

My partner became a SAHD and left a professional career it took him 9 years to get back into a professional role and this was on 25k , less than the 35k he was earning previously and pretty much starting at the bottom again. We do regret it.

Happened to me too. I really regret leaving my decent civil service job (and bloody good pension).

Oh Christ. Go away.

It s a short term cost shared by both parents.
Keep your job pension contributions paid holidays

And if you earn similar why not your dp cut his job?

Do not be daft. They are in day time childcare . not given away to the orphanage

@whatswrongwivme do you actually have kids? You would know if you do that sometimes you don't want to savour every moment and would actually like a break from the kids occasionally by sticking them in nursery.

Others might have said all of this already but just in case not-— id look into whether you and DH could compress hours 9/10 so that you can get the kids into a new nursery but only 4 days a week. It really does make a difference.
Otherwise think of it as a loss leader and remember it’s short term. Plus getting back into the job market in a couple of years could easily be horrific. You could easily need to take a salary drop, so overall be worse off. If you like your job and you’re not loosing money IMO you’re doing well.

How long was he a SAHD before trying to get back into work?
9 years to get back into a professional role sounds odd. Unless he is in a very niche industry

I also echo looking into school nursery and managing the wrap around between you- as others have said it saves a fortune and it’s also better prep for starting reception (especially if they start at the same school but this isn’t essential). I wouldn’t assume they are all over-subscribed as there’s been quite a drop in the birth rate in lots of places recently. Around us some schools which were fully subscribed for nursery now have places.

We managed the wrap around for school hours nursery/ reception like this- one of us would work 8-2pm 2 days one week, 3 days the next week and do the pick up at 3pm. Then on the other days they would do drop off at 8.50 and work as late as they could to make up their hours whilst the other parent did the 3pm pick up. We managed to do this for 2 years plus, nearly gave me a nervous breakdown but it was great for the kids and the family finances!!

We really are lucky with this set up in fairness. Before the free hours kicked in we were obviously paying in full but it still worked out cheaper than a nursery and means we have the option of keeping our childminder over the summer and other holidays when children in full time school so no mad juggle of A/L (although we do cover when she is away).

I don’t think many consider childminders as full time 5 day options, it’s rare, but I like to think we are giving ours regular work and in return she is very reliable. Also honest- she encouraged us to send our 3 year old to school nursery 9-3 because she felt the setting would do him good, even though it meant she “lost” a full time placement. We still use her for wraparound care.

OP if you see this, could you consider it as an option?

A lot have given you a hard time on here which is unfair, but there may be some other options to consider.

I get it, OP. Our nursery has increased their fees a lot over the last few years, and the latest increase was from £85 to £100 a day. I have a friend whose nursery increased their fees from £60 to £100 a day. It's not as simple as just moving your child(ren) to another childcare setting - they've all had to increase their prices, so there is no saving to compensate for the upheaval of moving the children.

It's the government's fault, of course. They weren't funding the 15/30 hours "free" childcare properly when it was just for 3 year olds. Now they've expanded the scheme to include much younger children, still without funding it properly, the impact on childcare settings has been huge. As you say, they have to charge paying parents much more in order to subsidise the "free" spaces / hours.

I'm not sure what the answer is other than revolution But for your specific situation, I do agree with PPs about exploring the option of you and DH both working full time over 9/10 days, so you'd only have to pay for 4 days a week of childcare.
You could also consider going part-time, which would reduce the deductions for tax, NI and student loan repayment. On £45k, with 5% pension contribution, your total deductions are over £1k a month, leaving you with about £2670/month net. But let's say you went down to 0.7 (working 7 days out of 10), your deductions would be just over £500, net pay would be about £2100, and you'd only have to pay 3 days a week of nursery fees (assuming your DH did compressed FT hours for 9/10 days). You might save a bit of money in commuting costs too.