Am I being unreasonable for wanting my friends to choose a more central meeting place?

[Twinklebird]

Myself and my friends all live very far away from each other. Meet ups are nice but only 2-3 times per year. We normally meet in an area that is fairly equidistant for the furthest people including me.
The next meet up is to mark an occasion. Just a day trip. They have chosen a fancy place that is much nearer for everyone but much further for me. I never minded travel but just feel totally excluded. I would love a meet up but it just feels impossible. Do I suck it up and travel or stay home and miss out.
AIBU and how do I put my point across? All advice welcome.

How far?

How far are we talking? What kind of place is it, something unique like a certain theatre or the Tower of London, or something generic like a chain restaurant?

I think when people are spread out it’s very difficult to please all of the people all of the time really.

If its usually equidistant then as a one off, you should make the effort especially if its a nice place.

Use your words.

“going to have to miss this one guys, it is too far for me. Next time we arrange a get together could we find somewhere more central please? Thanks :)”

Do it as a one off for the special occasion but next meet up, be sure to move it back to the more central venues. Can you stay overnight with one of the closer ones?

Does the usual central place involve most people travelling further than they would in this instance (i.e. because a few of you live substantially forget away than the majority)?

Or is it a particularly special place, where you couldn't have done an equivalent equidistant from you all?

And what are the distances involved?

I guess it just needs a lot more information to be able to give a good answer.

How far?

Driving from London to Devon, or Surrey to Durham for a ds uni open day, is not a big thing for me, others can only manage short distances.

How far?

I think as a one-off, it’s fine.

Also, if most of them live closer to each other, and it’s just you who is furthest away, then I think realistically it’s going to be nearer where most of the people are.

Could you stay in a premier inn/ travelodge the night before to make it easier?

Fancy place as in restaurant that could potentially be anywhere? Or fancy place that is unusual and only in this location? Context is key.

i would do whatever felt best for ME. I suspect that is giving this one a miss.

As a one off, it's fine.

Do some research before the next meet up.
Have a few venues that would be particularly enjoyable for the group - farm animals, swimming, large play garden etc. - that are closer to you. Over the years you will all have turns at travelling further.

Friends like you who are on the extreme edge do have a disadvantage. This time the group caters for the people on the other edge. Next time it could be your turn.
Hopefully it will end up fair.

Depends how far everyone is from each other (is everyone close and only you far?) and how far it actually is. But I still think if everyone else is happy, they can arrange it and you don't have to go if it doesn't work for you

How far, what's the plan and what is the occasion being marked?

If it's John O'Groats to Lands End for a 13th anniversary in a generic pub, too far.

If it's Sunderland to London for a 40th birthday in a place the birthday girl has always wanted to go, fine for a one off.

My best friends are reasonably spread out, and I travel a long way for them because they’re important. But context is everything - how far are we talking, and why the change?

For only 2/3 times a year I’d travel pretty much anywhere in the UK to see friends I love. Can’t you stay over or stay with one of them? It makes sense for the furthest out to travel further, rather than everyone having to travel further.

I have this issue with friends - next time suggest the venue OP.

As a one-off I don’t think it’s that much of an issue, if it started happening constantly then I’d be annoyed.

Who's doing the organising for all of these events?

The next meet up is to mark an occasion. Just a day trip. They have chosen a fancy place that is much nearer for everyone but much further for me.
Is it a group special occasion, or for one particular person who's chosen venue?

Sometimes tho by you going an extra hour you save everyone else an hour each. We are the furthest away, and often travel the furthest, as it saves everyone else so much time.
If the location has been central every other time, you might just have to suck it up.

If it's not possible for you then it's ok for you to decline and say why you can't come. I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest a different place as a one off.

If this venue is ‘nearer for everyone else and further away for you’ then that suggests they all live a bit closer to each other than they do to you.

That suggests that when you meet up ‘in the middle’ more people travel a longer distance than they ‘need’ to make sure you don’t need to travel too far.

If this is the case, then I think a one off meet up nearer to them is fine.

Decide whether you want to go or not, and find a nice way to word it either way, and then suggest a more equidistant venue for next time?

As it is a special occasion I dont see an issue, as long as it goes back to central location for usual meet ups.

If it makes it too difficult for you to attend yanbu to not to go. I wouldn't ask for a change though.