To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

[Aliceglass]

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

I think playing ‘They Not Like Us’ full volume would complement this nicely.

I can offer an extensive repertoire on my accordion, thanks to the box and fiddle group I played in 20 yrs ago. Not just Scottish music, I'll have you know.

Until you've heard "In the Mood" played on the piano accordion, you haven't lived. Alternatively, I can lead everyone in a rousing medley of World War One songs.

Maybe flick some false nails over into the set out food too.

That's wonderful! And yy to inviting a weed smoker round

Yikes!

She clearly doesn’t think you’re quite ‘her sort’ and would rather you weren’t seen. If you want to quietly protest then chicken manure pellets are very cheap and absolutely stink to high heaven.

Most of the broad sheet readers read the daily mail on the quiet

Ignore her, OP - it’s just deliberate belligerence.

Also need to hang a line full of grotty chewing gum/ dirty white holey knickers out with a very tall line prop.

I know they’re expensive but 20 silk cut will take her right back to Chelsea in the 90s. You don’t actually have to smoke them, just light them when the wind is blowing over the fence.

you could also play the theme tune to Neighbours on a loop (apologies if someone else mentioned this)

Ooh, I've thought of more fun things to do that weekend in your garden:

• A life-drawing class
• Children's recorder practice; invite the whole "orchestra"
• Extra large twister ultimate (twice the spots!) competition
• Gardening in nothing but a sun hat and apron... don't forget to apply chicken manure to the flower beds!
• Host a belated paint throwing party for Holi festival (who cares if you're not Hindu!)

Do you know any naturists that would enjoy using your garden on those days?

That is the most batshit thing I have heard for a long time.
Is her name Hyacinth Bucket?
Have you got a kazoo? Get one on ebay. You can poke it out of a small gap in the window upstairs and play it randomly throughout the day so they can't trace where the the noise is coming from.

My next door neighbours little boys were on their trampoline today as I was mowing my lawn. Their little heads kept popping up and they were shouting “helloooo, helloooo.” Do that OP!

In addition: nothing to do with the thread but yesterday the 3 little boys were in their garden screaming, shouting and laughing. I have DS18 & 19. One of my DS said “They’re noisy. Doesn’t it get on your nerves?”’ I said “Nope. That was you two less than 10 years ago.”

Is your neighbour called Hyacinth?

Do You enjoy topless sunbathing op? I think this should be the summer you take it up!

@Aliceglass Obviously your NDN is out of order and should under no circumstances be obeyed, but when my friends NDNs adult son got married in their garden they put cards through everyone's letterboxes apologising for any potential inconvenience and requesting people not mow their lawns between 12-1 on x date whilst the wedding took place.

No problem at all until except I was round her house and helpfully took the bins out to her already heavy wheelie bin, I got a bit distracted as I was enjoying overhearing the vows being made and somehow managed to run my foot over with it and let out an automatic and very loud yell of "FUCK". There was a pause, a polite cough and "I now pronounce you man and wife".

I was utterly mortified but luckily there was a ripple of laughter from over the fence and my friend and her neighbours have done the very British thing of never mentioning it.

So in short OP, don't do the above and you should be golden.

Do you have a friend with a dog that reacts to anything and everything by constantly barking . Imagine if that person had an ' emergency' that afternoon and you had no choice but to look after her dog. Such a pain for your neighbour but you simply had to help your friend

Is her name Hyacinth Bouquet?

Keep asking her to remind you of the dates of her nudie sex parties. That’s clearly why she wants privacy.

Sorry, I think you're power washing your garden that day

Now you have the dates for her little garden parties, I would do the following:

Put an open invitation on Facebook too, to ensure that her well-to-do guests have plenty of others to talk to.

I'm shocked. I thought you were going to say she was apologising in advance for parties on a fair few dates. but this is SO rude and unreasonable. I'd just proceed 100% as normal (and hope they move)

Thongs are still popular too. ' Sun's out, buns out" after all.

I would be preparing my best Waynetta slob impressions!