to allow my six year old to dress how she wants than rather how other people want her to look?

[twinsetandpearls]

Of course as is the tradition with these threads i do not think i am being unreasonable at all and if anyone says I am I will flounce

Obviously this is within reason. Dd has always been a very confident strong willed child who likes to be different. This has never resulted in her being bullied or picked on, she is a very popular child doing well at school although she does need firm parenting.

She is going through a rock goth phase, partly I think influenced by some of the older children I teach as she often comes into school.

She loves clothes, something she has inherited from her father and me. She helps me make clothes, will draw her own designs and loves playing in our dressing room putting togther outfits. I let her choose her clothes, again within reason. At the moment she is wearing mainly black skinny, jeans, ties and anything with skulls on! She does like to push the boundaries but backs down very quick, recent requests have included hand cuffs, black eyeliner and a leather waistcoat. She also wanted a black bedroom but I said no so it is pink and purple and she loves it. I think she pushes the boundaries knowing i will say no but wants to play along.

She has wierd taste in music for a little girl, she loves Queen, yesterday over tea she said to dp which Queen album is your favourite I can't choose between ..... and ...... ( have to admit I was not really listening). She also has disocovered The Cure and at the moment she has nickelback playing constantly upstairs while airguitaring! But she also loves Kylie!

We went to a princess and pirate party the other week and a friend came with me and dd. All the other girls were princesses, she had put togther her own outfit of black skinny jeans, a black top with skulls on, a bandana and a belt she had made herself of skulls. My friend was horrified that i let her go out like this and said I should have made her wear something more appropriate. But again no children made unpleasant comments, on the contrary they were all asking her about her outfit.

My mum has also made a few comments about dd clothes, but as I live in a town full of girls in either dodgy tracksuits or bratz lookalikes I am glad that dd is rebelling in her own way.

She does wear some girly things, mainly things from last year admittedly.

My mum and friend are of the opinion that we should tell dd what to wear and she should accept that. Are they right.

[Saturn74]

She sounds fab.
YANBU.
Glad you called a halt to the hand cuffs and eye liner ideas though.

[misdee]

oh i love her! she would fit right in with dd1 and dd3. dd1 is more emo than her friends, loves black/pink and isnt your typical sparkly princess. dd3 spent a lot of winter in a bodenm pink/purple stripey dress, legwarmers and skull wellyboots. she looked very cool.

[twinsetandpearls]

She is fab albeit tinged with preconsciousness.

[madamez]

WEF is inappropriate about her wearing stuff with skulls on? I was a morbid little sod as a kid as well, it's totally harmless. Encourage your DD to wear what she likes and enjoy her creativity. Because you are setting her up with lots and lots of security and ammunition for the horrible teenage years when morons will try to force her into feminine conformity, eating disorders and self-hatred: if she's learned the 'fuck'em if they can;t take a joke' attitude early on, it will do her good all her life.
Your mum and friend are not only wrong but should keep their stupid beaks out.

[FunkyGlassSlipper]

Sounds lovely. Glad she has her own mind. Friend and mum are being very dull and you should ignore them completely

[iheartdusty]

she sounds fantastic!

judging from Claire's Accessories many young girls like the pirate/goth look, she is perhaps a little ahead of her peers at age 6, but I absolutely agree that it is up to her to choose.

better in my view to be a punk pirate than a pink princess derived straight from Disney with no imagination or creative input, or, as you say, a mini-Bratz.

[JiminyCricket]

she sounds cool. if she doesn't feel the need to be like everyone else at this age, then maybe that won't kick in for her and she'll be robust enough to be her own person. good for her

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

Wow! Rebelling at 6, what will she do when she's 16?

[twinsetandpearls]

That sounds exactly like my dd misdee. Where did you get skull welly boots from I was looking for over an hour the other night for dd, got her a pair online the other night.

I do worry that I am making her materialistic. I love clothes and shoes, I have so much we had to turn our spare room into a walk in wardrobe. She now shares that with me. I suppose it is that worry that I cannot remember being into clothes and music at 6 so she is growing up fast and I am encouraging her.

[Confidentialnamechanger]

she sounds cool as fu*k and I love the idea of her going as a pirate

I do predict though that she will continue to need firm parenting as she's asking for handcuffs/leather waistcoat

[iheartdusty]

well there is a lot more choice to be had in the way of cheap clothes and accessories than there used to be. I worry too, my 6 year old is obsessed with the way she looks, but it is an outlet for creativity and self expression.

[cyteen]

No way are YBU, she sounds brilliant!

Childhood is a great time to dress in as eccentric a manner as possible - like madamez says, it's setting her up to express herself as she wishes during her teen and adult years. I lived in dressing-up clothes half the time when I was her age, and tomboywear the rest of the time.

[misdee]

i got them ferom a local shoe shop. she had a choice of pinky ones, bratz one or the skull ones. she choose the skull ones. she was 2years old at the time lol. she loves pirtates though. she makes me chuckle as is so so not girly princess at all at age 3.

[Saturn74]

You're not being materialistic though, tsap, or teaching DD to be.
You're encouraging her to express herself, to design her own clothes and to help you make them.
Life skills!

[misdee]

dd's are in hardcore rave music, my chemical romance and green day.

[twinsetandpearls]

The handcuffs she wanted were in Claire's accessories, so her rebellion isn't that great tbh She had the staff in stitches posing in the mirrors with all the gear.

But again at the back of my mind I think what will she be like at 16?

I wish I had had her confidence as a child, heck I would love her confidence as an adult.

[StealthPolarBear]

Horrified at going to a pirates and princesses party as a pirate
If she had gone as a tap dancing hippopotamus that would have been slightly inappropriate

[twinsetandpearls]

dd likes green day as well, don;t know about chemical romance.

We were in TK Maxx the other week and she was dressed up in her best gear posing in the mirrors, jumping in the air and doing her rock on hands! Dp and I were almost wetting ourselves and she had a little crowd of kids in tracksuits and dodgy heels staring at her in complete bemusement.

[iheartdusty]

at 16 she may have come though all of the usual doubts about her identity and be totally sorted and confident.

[misdee]

oh yes, dd1 does rock on hands as well. she maeks me laugh.

[twinsetandpearls]

"I do predict though that she will continue to need firm parenting as she's asking for handcuffs/leather waistcoat "

She needed firm parenting from the womb!

There are underlying issues to this, I know that because she had a difficult start to life and she has to live my illness and put up with my daft working hours she is a bit pampered. My mum sees this as further evidence of dd being spoilt.

[twinsetandpearls]

misdee she jumps off the sofa onto her knees skidding across the floor doing rock on hands. Her friends just watch in complete amusement.

[twinsetandpearls]

I can never remember as a child choosing my own clothes either. Mum would take us to a mill outlet a few times a year in Wolverhampton ( I know the glamour ) and she would just buy stuff and we had no say. I think I was a teenager before I had a choice.

[misdee]

lol, she should come here to play. lol.

New Look had some cool clothes and H+M as well.

[twinsetandpearls]

I don't think she fits into New Look yet, although my sister works in there so it will be handy when she does.

She has a few bits from Next, ( again hardly setting the world alight with her rebellion ) and we get things from TK Maxx, ebay and we customise or make things. We don't have a H+M here but when we go to Preston we get her a few bits.