to allow my six year old to dress how she wants than rather how other people want her to look?

[twinsetandpearls]

Of course as is the tradition with these threads i do not think i am being unreasonable at all and if anyone says I am I will flounce

Obviously this is within reason. Dd has always been a very confident strong willed child who likes to be different. This has never resulted in her being bullied or picked on, she is a very popular child doing well at school although she does need firm parenting.

She is going through a rock goth phase, partly I think influenced by some of the older children I teach as she often comes into school.

She loves clothes, something she has inherited from her father and me. She helps me make clothes, will draw her own designs and loves playing in our dressing room putting togther outfits. I let her choose her clothes, again within reason. At the moment she is wearing mainly black skinny, jeans, ties and anything with skulls on! She does like to push the boundaries but backs down very quick, recent requests have included hand cuffs, black eyeliner and a leather waistcoat. She also wanted a black bedroom but I said no so it is pink and purple and she loves it. I think she pushes the boundaries knowing i will say no but wants to play along.

She has wierd taste in music for a little girl, she loves Queen, yesterday over tea she said to dp which Queen album is your favourite I can't choose between ..... and ...... ( have to admit I was not really listening). She also has disocovered The Cure and at the moment she has nickelback playing constantly upstairs while airguitaring! But she also loves Kylie!

We went to a princess and pirate party the other week and a friend came with me and dd. All the other girls were princesses, she had put togther her own outfit of black skinny jeans, a black top with skulls on, a bandana and a belt she had made herself of skulls. My friend was horrified that i let her go out like this and said I should have made her wear something more appropriate. But again no children made unpleasant comments, on the contrary they were all asking her about her outfit.

My mum has also made a few comments about dd clothes, but as I live in a town full of girls in either dodgy tracksuits or bratz lookalikes I am glad that dd is rebelling in her own way.

She does wear some girly things, mainly things from last year admittedly.

My mum and friend are of the opinion that we should tell dd what to wear and she should accept that. Are they right.

Personally, I think you are right to encourage her own creativity within reason, and it is entirely up to you to decide what boundaries you set. I would think that if she is confident in her own opinions even when they are different to everyone else's, she's less likely to succumb to peer pressure on more important things when she older (I'm thinking cigs, booze and drugs here). And I hate the miniature mini skirts/cropped tops that some ranges of childrens' clothes promote.

But bear in mind that as a teenager (I didn't start as young as your dd!) I invented my own, errm, individual (?!), looks, which included goth, gypsy rose lee, and explosion in paint factory. Which make me when I think about them now . And I hope my dd shows that kind of originality (today she had a paddy 'cos I wouldn't let her retrieve her pink flouncy dress from the dirty laundry, but she is only 21 months!).

fantastic!
have a look at this

the larger New Look do chidlrens clothes from baby sizes. i was as i didnt know. i went in there to get stuff for me but wound up getting the girls clothes.

I may check ours then, she loves New Look.

LOL, don't flounce, you are so obviously NOT being unreasonable!

What's inappropriate about going as a pirate to a pirate and princesses party? Honestly, what the fuck has 40 years of women's liberation been about? Are those nutters saying she should have gone as a princess? Have they not seen Keira Knightley swashbuckling about in Pirates of the Caribbean?

am watching it now minouminou, just want to say she is not moody!

Blimey, at 6yo she sounds too cool for school. My dd is 6yo, still into CBeebies and wouldn't know a latest fashion trend from her My Little Pony collection! How do 6yos get into Queen, Nickelback and the like? Not criticising by any stretch (she sounds fab) but genuinely curious as to how they get to have such grown up tastes.

very funny, I will show dd!

Roobie, because its what we listen to. PC ds also has 'grown up' music tastes.

Roobie, when my brother and I were little we were into the Police, Blondie, Stevie Wonder, Motown and loads of other stuff...both my parents are/were musical and very into music of all kinds, so we just picked it up from them. My favourite song when I was a kid was 'Turning Japanese' by the Vapours (I was also obsessed with Peer Gynt, not sure where that came from tbh).

I think that is my Mum's criticism Roobie and as much as I joke about flouncing I want to hear the other side.

She is into Queen as that is my dp favourite band, he used to be in a tribute band before we met. She adores dp and I think she wants to be like him ( see it is all his fault) Cure is my fault, I have some on my ipod and she borrowed on a long drive. She then saw a video on a music channel I had on whilst doing some housework and the rest is history. Nickelback was off the radio.

The clothes thing has come in part from me, although I do not dress in any way gothy I do read fashion magazines, make clothes and she loves to come shopping with me.

As I said as well she comes to work with me after her own school and mixes very confidently with my secondary age pupils, and we have quite a big goth, emo contingent.

She is also an only child which I think has made her grow up as if she is not playing out wit friends, which she does a lot, she is engaging in adult conversation with dp and I.

she would love these

When I was a little girl I would have been so desperate to be her friend...

I had a horrid encounter with a pink-and-jellies-clad, blonde-ringletted 5 year old superbrat a few weeks ago, who really wound me up, and gave me a bit of a downer on the species of girlie-girls at the moment. Your DD sounds ace.

Another worry is that the school I teach in is very much divided into goths and townies. The townies bully the goths mercilessly and there is the case in the news recently of course. But we are moving away and for all I know the phase could be over by then

She sounds fab and highly individual. Hope she manages to withstand the pressure to conform...

Each time I go into Preston now I am going to be walking around not concentrating on what I am doing but looking for a wonderfully confident 6 yo goth.

Lol crocky - we are easily spotted.

Look for a six year old dressed head to toe in black jumping about doing rock on hands, being followed around by my in ridiculous heels and dp five paces behind wandering how it all ended up like this!

I am not that liberal myself though, she wears a nice dress and smart shoes for church!

i think its more than fine

I personally would however draw the line in allowing her free dress rein if she favoured sequinned boob tubes and g strings for toddlers...

when I was a little girl (6, 7, 8....) my favourite bands were
Thin Lizzy
Stiff Little Fingers
Queen
Buzzcocks
Lou Reed and the Velvet Underground
the Police
Olivia Newton John
Billy Joel
Barry Manilow

I hated motown and reggae
I was pretty clear about all this

I was very influenced by older siblings and my parents. I was effectively an only child, as my siblings are much older.
I turned out all right and mostly these days listen to Bach and Stravinsky

But are you now normal harpsi or do your parents live in shame of you? DD dad is a Barry Manilow fan, I may have that to come.

Surely though there is no such thing as g strings for toddlers - I just know someone is going to google them now