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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to allow my six year old to dress how she wants than rather how other people want her to look?

108 replies

twinsetandpearls · 15/05/2008 14:34

Of course as is the tradition with these threads i do not think i am being unreasonable at all and if anyone says I am I will flounce

Obviously this is within reason. Dd has always been a very confident strong willed child who likes to be different. This has never resulted in her being bullied or picked on, she is a very popular child doing well at school although she does need firm parenting.

She is going through a rock goth phase, partly I think influenced by some of the older children I teach as she often comes into school.

She loves clothes, something she has inherited from her father and me. She helps me make clothes, will draw her own designs and loves playing in our dressing room putting togther outfits. I let her choose her clothes, again within reason. At the moment she is wearing mainly black skinny, jeans, ties and anything with skulls on! She does like to push the boundaries but backs down very quick, recent requests have included hand cuffs, black eyeliner and a leather waistcoat. She also wanted a black bedroom but I said no so it is pink and purple and she loves it. I think she pushes the boundaries knowing i will say no but wants to play along.

She has wierd taste in music for a little girl, she loves Queen, yesterday over tea she said to dp which Queen album is your favourite I can't choose between ..... and ...... ( have to admit I was not really listening). She also has disocovered The Cure and at the moment she has nickelback playing constantly upstairs while airguitaring! But she also loves Kylie!

We went to a princess and pirate party the other week and a friend came with me and dd. All the other girls were princesses, she had put togther her own outfit of black skinny jeans, a black top with skulls on, a bandana and a belt she had made herself of skulls. My friend was horrified that i let her go out like this and said I should have made her wear something more appropriate. But again no children made unpleasant comments, on the contrary they were all asking her about her outfit.

My mum has also made a few comments about dd clothes, but as I live in a town full of girls in either dodgy tracksuits or bratz lookalikes I am glad that dd is rebelling in her own way.

She does wear some girly things, mainly things from last year admittedly.

My mum and friend are of the opinion that we should tell dd what to wear and she should accept that. Are they right.

OP posts:
GreebosWhiskers · 15/05/2008 17:13

twinsetandpearls our local tesco had black welly boots today with skulls & spiderwebs on them - 3yo dd loved 'em

Your dd sounds very very cool.

twinsetandpearls · 15/05/2008 17:25

You are joking I spent ages looking when I could have gone to tescos!

OP posts:
Seashell71 · 15/05/2008 17:26

Twinsetandpearls, sounds to me your post is more of a show-off than asking if YABU. Of course you're not, as you well know! Your dd sounds fab; keep encouraging her to be creative and experiment with clothes. Damn it I'm jealous!

twinsetandpearls · 15/05/2008 17:28

It probably is a show off tbh. But if we can't show off our kids what can we.

But there are one or two worried underneath the pride and amusement, as have been hinted at by other posters.

OP posts:
twinsetandpearls · 15/05/2008 17:29

I could be being unreasonable, perhaps I should be directing dd to spending more time climbing trees or playing imaginatuvely than thinking about what she wears.

OP posts:
MargaretMountford · 15/05/2008 17:40

nope, she is being very creative and that is an excellent trait imo

twinsetandpearls · 15/05/2008 17:41

I can't believe I am arguing that I am being unreasonable on my own am I being unreasonable thread.

OP posts:
jasper · 15/05/2008 17:59

YABU
She sounds just like my daughter; I also let her dress as she pleases and I am VERY unreasonable so you must be also

OrmIrian · 15/05/2008 18:06

Oh well. If you're setting outrageous dressing against climbing trees.... I think she could so both

thegreenfairy · 15/05/2008 18:18

I love this thread!

YANBU. Your DD is clearly creative and expressing herself through dressing up.
I was just the same - would put on the entire contents of the dressing up box at playgroup so that no one else could have the clothes (not my proudest moment) and my mum helped me dye my hair aged eight using those rubbish Shaders and Toners thingies or spray in gold and silver glitter.
Her friends deffo disapproved (and I even remember hearing one say 'you let her go out like that?' when I was going through a punk phase aged 10) but mum's argument was 'hair dye washes out, clothes can be changed, and kids should be allowed to express themselves'.
By helping her make her own clothes you are encouraging her creativity - more power to you both

My fave advert at the mo is the little boy who won't take off his Spiderman outfit....

twinsetandpearls · 15/05/2008 18:26

Thanks Jasper

OP posts:
spugs · 15/05/2008 18:28

she sounds just like my 7 year old, loves anything with skulls on and is an avid queen fan at her cousins recent high school musical she put her foot down and went as a pirate . id much prefer them to be a bit different

twinsetandpearls · 15/05/2008 18:29

She does climb trees as well, is currently on the green making a den with her mates. The black clothes hide the mud better.

Although my sister has bought her very girly oufit which she is currently wearing with some gold ballet bumps so she has not turned completely to the dark side.

OP posts:
MoreSpamThanGlam · 15/05/2008 18:29

What a wonderful child! Congratulations!!

twinsetandpearls · 15/05/2008 18:30

Eek don;t think I want to face hair dye yet.

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PosieParker · 15/05/2008 18:32

She sounds great, anything but slutty is fine by me!!!

DarthVader · 15/05/2008 18:34

How odd that folk disapprove of her outfits and of your approach!

It is very good to let children make their own choices wherever possible in my opinion.

Why would anyone force their daughter into girly pink outfits against her will?!!! Those people are the unreasonable ones,surely?

twinsetandpearls · 15/05/2008 18:44

I suppose people don;t want me to force her into pink ( I hope) but to make her dress in a more mainstream way.

OP posts:
edam · 15/05/2008 18:54

Sod anyone who objects, they are narrow minded eejits. She sounds gorgeous. Mind you, if you are fine with her dressing creatively, her teenage rebellion might involve wearing tweed skirts, a nice blouse, American tan tights and a pearl necklace!

DarthVader · 15/05/2008 18:57

ar$se to mainstrean!
why live in dullsville?

twinsetandpearls · 15/05/2008 19:17

lol perhaps edam.

I had a blister the other day from new shoes so asked dp to get some tights and they must have been a version of American Tan. I looked very odd all day , i could see people trying to match my pasty upper torso to my shiny sausge legs.

OP posts:
Bluestocking · 15/05/2008 19:33

She sounds great!
What are rock on hands?

twinsetandpearls · 15/05/2008 20:04

rock on hand

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Bluestocking · 15/05/2008 20:11

oooooh!
I think I thought they were called devil's horns, or something.

DevilwearsPrada · 15/05/2008 23:29

She sounds fab. She actually sounds a lot like my dd1 who is 5, she refuses to conform won't wear dresses or pretty bows. She also loves gun n roses (although this may have more to do with her mum ) and loves playing air guitar. I hope she is like your dd when she is 6 I never want her to conform.

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