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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to allow my six year old to dress how she wants than rather how other people want her to look?

108 replies

twinsetandpearls · 15/05/2008 14:34

Of course as is the tradition with these threads i do not think i am being unreasonable at all and if anyone says I am I will flounce

Obviously this is within reason. Dd has always been a very confident strong willed child who likes to be different. This has never resulted in her being bullied or picked on, she is a very popular child doing well at school although she does need firm parenting.

She is going through a rock goth phase, partly I think influenced by some of the older children I teach as she often comes into school.

She loves clothes, something she has inherited from her father and me. She helps me make clothes, will draw her own designs and loves playing in our dressing room putting togther outfits. I let her choose her clothes, again within reason. At the moment she is wearing mainly black skinny, jeans, ties and anything with skulls on! She does like to push the boundaries but backs down very quick, recent requests have included hand cuffs, black eyeliner and a leather waistcoat. She also wanted a black bedroom but I said no so it is pink and purple and she loves it. I think she pushes the boundaries knowing i will say no but wants to play along.

She has wierd taste in music for a little girl, she loves Queen, yesterday over tea she said to dp which Queen album is your favourite I can't choose between ..... and ...... ( have to admit I was not really listening). She also has disocovered The Cure and at the moment she has nickelback playing constantly upstairs while airguitaring! But she also loves Kylie!

We went to a princess and pirate party the other week and a friend came with me and dd. All the other girls were princesses, she had put togther her own outfit of black skinny jeans, a black top with skulls on, a bandana and a belt she had made herself of skulls. My friend was horrified that i let her go out like this and said I should have made her wear something more appropriate. But again no children made unpleasant comments, on the contrary they were all asking her about her outfit.

My mum has also made a few comments about dd clothes, but as I live in a town full of girls in either dodgy tracksuits or bratz lookalikes I am glad that dd is rebelling in her own way.

She does wear some girly things, mainly things from last year admittedly.

My mum and friend are of the opinion that we should tell dd what to wear and she should accept that. Are they right.

OP posts:
madmuggle · 16/05/2008 12:06

My daughter has asked if I can find her a red and black gingham dress for school instead of a red and white one

You are not alone!

She's five, by the way

Buda · 16/05/2008 12:22

She sounds great ts&p.

A friend has a DD who is a total tomboy - influenced by her older brother - when to all nursery parties as Buzz Lightyear or wearing football kit instead of the endless princess nylon dresses the other girls were all wearing.

I think it shows great strength of character which is always a good thing. Until of course she is 16 and the 'strength of character' has turned into plain old teenage stubbornness!

casbie · 16/05/2008 12:23

excellent!

my dd is into horses and pink

: (

well, at least i don't have to wear it!!

: )

PersephoneSnape · 16/05/2008 13:01

my ds2(8) would have gone to the party as a princess.

not quite so easy when it's a boy though - ds2 loves shiny satin material and lace and embroidery and tights. I turned my back for five minutes in boots the other day and he was covered in make up. He's always dressing up in his older sisters cast-offs. I tend to tell him that he can wear what he likes when he's with his family, but some people can be horrible when boys dress in girls and ladies clothes and that he needs to be careful about what he chooses to wear because some boys might try and hurt him or be nasty. Very sad. he's a confident happy little soul and I wish he could indulge his flamboyance a little more. (but he would go to the party as a princess because it would be his friends and they 'get' him IFSWIM. )

madmuggle · 16/05/2008 15:50

Gender stereotyping has a shedload to answer for

Bless your son, and good on him for not being afraid.

twinsetandpearls · 18/05/2008 11:50

pmsl madmuggle I could just see dd saying that.

Her skull wellies came on Friday and she has worn them all weekend. Today thought she has gone out looking quite girly with a flowery top and cropped jeans and her a red headband.

OP posts:
twinsetandpearls · 18/05/2008 11:51

That is sad persephone it can be much easier for girls to go their own way.

OP posts:
PersephoneSnape · 18/05/2008 15:08

he is a confident wee soul though - went to asda this morning with him wearing a red t shirt, navy blue gym shorts, quite high cut - boxer length and his sisters stripy knee length socks, which go all the way up to his bum, so look like stripy stockings - and his sensible black lace up school shoes. I have given birth to the guy from the scissor sisters.

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