To expect a driving instructor to ring the doorbell?

[NotTonightDeidre]

Just that really. DS missed a driving lesson this morning because he wasn't awake. The driving instructor text him to say he was outside. He didn't call his phone or ring our doorbell.

I get that it's DS' responsibility to be at the lesson, but if it were me I'd just ring/knock when it's a pick up from home.

Is it really that unreasonable to get out of the car & walk 10 steps to the front door?

Your DS should have been ready and waiting by the window at the right time to see the instructor pull up. If your DS wasn’t awake, he wasn’t ready.

If your DS is old enough to be having driving lessons, he’s old enough to be getting himself out of bed on time, not continuing snoring away and expecting Mummy and Daddy to prod him from his slumber!

Don’t blame the instructor for the missed lesson, this is 100% your DS’s fault and YABU.

It’s not how it works. The instructor waits outside and you hop in for your lesson

I had lessons 45years ago, and even before mobile phones they never got out of the car! (Presumably in my case because the driving instructor wore his slippers the whole time) I was always eager and literally hovering by the front door.

Do you expect the driving instructor to make your son's breakfast too?

I agree with you OP. The fact is though that they don't.

The person paying for the lessons is kept out of the loop and the person the lessons are for is not usually as invested in them, or doesn't see the big picture of their money-for-arranged-time nature. Basically the adult is paying and the student is not adulting.
If the person funding the lessons was copied into the timetable they would probably ensure the student was ready.
I am sure the Driving Instructors are all aware of this fact.

If OP’s son can’t be responsible enough to set an alarm an wake up by a set time perhaps he shouldn’t be on the roads?

This cannot be real . Your son should be up ready and waiting outside or atleast keeping an eye out from inside.
No instructor i know gets out to knock they just pull up and the person they are waiting for goes outside. It's just common sense and normal.
They are busy and have a set time per person .
Get a grip and have a word with your lazy son

YABU I’ve never known a driving instructor to get out the car. I don’t know why but they just don’t 🤷🏻‍♀️ your son does need to learn to be up and ready for important commitments so it’s a useful lesson I suppose

One of my kids got driving lessons during free periods at school, I can't imagine the DI going to the school office if Dc was late or didn't turn up.

Is he paying for his own lessons?

Some parents would expect that, no doubt.

More than likely.

Why am I not surprised that between 2 males they couldn’t afford the instructor the courtesy of turning up

I passed my test 11 years ago, my eldest used the same instructor a couple of years ago. He never got out the car he pulled up and we were ready to go out. If your son wasn't up and ready to go, he'd have eaten in to his lesson time getting washed and ready and wouldn't of got a full route done, he'd of also still been half a sleep to drive fully alert. It's fully on him.

Did you forget to set his alarm for him too?

Even in the late 80's they didn't get out of the car. It was just the horn which I found ironic given the horn rules.

If alarms including smoke alarms don’t wake him how would a doorbell?

Did DS miss the lesson time completely or did he wake up some time in the middle of when it should have been and realised? What happened when he realised?

I'm probably going to go against the grain here, but the instructor was being paid for an hour, so he should have sat there outside the house for an hour IMO, then left for his next lesson, if your son can't sort himself out to get out there on time then that's his problem, it would just eat into his lesson time if he was 10/20 minutes late etc.. but he should still have the opportunity to do that while the DI is on the clock anyway, he's been paid for that hour so should have been available IMO.

If he woke up after the lesson had finished, it's tough really, the driving instructor has no obligation to ring the bell, no, or any more than he actually did, but if he drove away after a couple of minutes then he did it to make a point.

Yes.

Sorry no it’s not the instructors responsibility. A text is sufficient. I’m afraid this is your sons responsibility and I’m guessing he is at least 17 so should be able to set an alarm and get up and be ready.

His time was paid for - if he sat in he car doing admin while the son got dressed, it's only the son missing out on lesson time. 🤷

Even if he had rung the doorbell your son was asleep! Come off it. This is on him.

The driving instructor arrived for the lesson. Your son did not because he was sleeping. I didn't catch his age but I'm sure he's adult enough to set an alarm and be outside his own door on time. Surely he's had to do that for school for a number of years? It's not the driving instructors job to get him out of his bed!

No the instructor always stays in the car. Your son should be responsible enough to get himself sorted.

I didn't rtft but as someone who is an awful driver and still not passed in my mind 30s I can say that none of my 5 previous instructors have ever rang the door or got put the car.

Finnally, some useful information has come of it 😂