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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is your child like you?

113 replies

Series3issodull · 06/04/2025 21:52

Mine isn’t at all…in looks or personality

This obviously isn’t a problem at all, my Dd is adorable & amazing. Did anyone else have a picture in their mind of how you thought your dc may be and they’re completely different? In every sense?

OP posts:
Ted27 · 06/04/2025 23:07

I have an adopted son who came to me quite late in adoption terms- nearly 8.
So he obviously looks nothing like to me, we aren't even the same ethnicity.
However over the last 13 years he has become very like me in mannerisms and interests, the way we do certain things, habits, apart from the fact that I have a northern accent and he has a southern one, he also has some of the same speech traits and of course we have our family in jokes.
In some ways we are the complete opposite which is what you would expect really

chocolatelover91 · 06/04/2025 23:09

My DD is her dad with looks! But apparently has the same traits as I did when i was her age! She's also daddy's girl! Sometimes wonder if she notices me in the room when he's around 🤣

Tiswa · 06/04/2025 23:12

Yep 16DD both facially looks like me and is an awful lot like me personality wise (to the point I have apologised to my parents for some of the traits!) There are differences - she has her Dads metabolism and singing voice (both of which I desperately would have wanted) and she loves dancing

DS is more like my parents actually but still looks a lot like me - again has DH singing voice! He is a bit more unique!

KnickerlessParsons · 06/04/2025 23:12

DD1 is a carbon copy of me and DD2 looks very much like my grandmother

MsCactus · 06/04/2025 23:14

DD looks and acts exactly like me!

Only thing she's got from her Dad is that she's sporty - I'm not at all

Tryingmum456 · 06/04/2025 23:15

DD is. She is my double, attitude and all. Didn’t realise how annoying I could be until she turned into a mini me 😁

namechangetheworld · 06/04/2025 23:17

DD1 is the spitting image of MIL and has the personality of her father. We don't even look related, which pathetically makes me quite sad.

DD2 is all me, looks and personality wise. Which I'm secretly rather pleased about!

Soonenough · 06/04/2025 23:22

My daughter looks very like me , my son like his father. But so different personality wise. I was a real fashionista but DD is totally opposite and preferrs a low key natural look. They both have rebelled against our rather wild teenage years by being rather conservative. No drinking , smoking or wild clubbing . Probably just as well as I would known all the signs!

crackofdoom · 06/04/2025 23:24

DS1 is nothing like me- popular, good looking, sporty....He's also the spit of his estranged father, which is....not great.

DS2 is my absolute mini me.

Returnofthemark · 06/04/2025 23:31

Yes, my son is my mini me. Personality, quirky little habits, looks.

He's also very like my mum! There's a photo of each of them at the same age and it's like twins.

Easterbunny3 · 06/04/2025 23:33

There were 4 of us. DB brown hair, blue eyes, DS1 1blonde with green eyes, DS2 blonde, brown eyes. Me brown hair, green eyes. Both parents had dark hair & blue eyes!

Despite this my DF sometimes mistakenly calls me by his DS’s name, my DS also gets called by another DA name. Can’t see the similarities/resemblance myself but there must be something.

My DD looks like her DF, traits are both his & mine.

honeylulu · 06/04/2025 23:58

Our son looks shockingly like me. It's as if his dad's genes didn't really contribute. He also has ADHD (as do I). But his interests are much more aligned with his dad's (politics, current affairs, geography) and he's very adventurous and confident (I'm not).

Our daughter looks much more like her dad's side - same hair/eye/skin colour, slight build etc. Academically prefers "his" subjects. We are very close but she's soooo different to me. She does have some of my facial expressions but I think that's a learnt/nurture thing. Otherwise we don't look related. There is a big age difference between them and a few times people have says they assumed we were a blended family with a child each from earlier marriages (they are full blood siblings).

Our neighbour has twins, about 18 months old. Was watching them play in the garden today. The girl is happy as Larry, busy playing with different things and chatting/singing. The boy whinges and cries if he is put down for a moment. Genes are so random.

SquashedMallow · 07/04/2025 00:02

DS my double : looks, personality, sense of humour, the lot

DD: ditto, her father ! If I catch a glimpse of her at the right angle I can just see a flash of me but it's incredibly fleeting. I'm so pleased for her though, her father is such a strong and confident person and I can really see that in her. It'll make her life that bit easier !

Sonolanona · 07/04/2025 00:03

Two are 'me' two are physically like Dh... So DD1 and DS2 are tall, willowy with quite strong facial features and photograph well. DS1 and DD2 are much shorter and compact with gentler features.
Personality wise DD1 and DS2 have autism and are simply themselves. DD2 is a mini me and DS1 is his Dad !

luckybugger · 07/04/2025 00:08

My middle child is the spitting image of me . He looks like me,same voice and I am the only person in the world that understands him. He is in Australia now and miss him so much. My other two are a split between me and husband and I adore and get on well with both of them..consider myself very lucky..

netherite · 07/04/2025 00:45

My Ds (6)was the spitting image of his dad as a baby- some photos you can't tell if it's DH or ds save for the clothes! Nowadays he's more me but with DH hair colouring, and green grey eyes (I have hazel, DH blue). People always say he looks just like me, until they see DH!

Personality wise, he's a sarcastic little thing which is both of us, mischievous (me), and very clever (DH, but I'm also quite bright!). I love the way his mind works and he's definitely his own person as well, it's fascinating watching him grow and develop.

YankSplaining · 07/04/2025 00:54

Personality-wise, one is so much like me that it’s scary. The other one isn’t like anyone else in the family. Both definitely have some physical characteristics from my husband’s side, but not enough that anyone would ever say, “Oh, they look just like you!” I’ve been told that they look just like me several times.

coxesorangepippin · 07/04/2025 01:35

Not really no

Ds is extremely extrovert, very technical and mechanically minded

DD is more introverted, similar to me, sporty. Very assertive, unlike me, I'm passive

ServantoftheBones · 07/04/2025 01:49

DD was always the image of her “dad” (who disappeared 5 years ago). We were all waiting at a bus stop once and a lady looked at her, then at him and said “You certainly couldn’t deny her could you?!” I could never see myself in her until recently. She’s 13 and the resemblance to me at that age is huge. I guess she just had to grow into me Grin

louisl8 · 07/04/2025 02:16

If you asked my mil she’d say my DD is all her and her side of the family, in reality she looks like her dad but some say a mix of us both, personally is me! Dd2 yet to be seen!

KnickerFolder · 07/04/2025 02:16

DD looks like her beautiful DGM. Not a hint of me or DH.

DS is my identical twin, apart from the Y chromosome and a beard 😂 Even DH can’t tell the difference between some of my baby and toddler photos and DS 😂 Except when he was first born, when he had dark hair like his dad (he’s blonde like me now) and for the first month he was the spitting image of DH.

There is a photo of him at 19 dressed as a new romantic for an 80s party that could be me in the actual 80s 😂 It wasn’t until his early twenties that he got a hint of DH in his brow and jawline.

Weirdly, as a child, I also looked just like my DM looked as a child. Her features and hair colour completely changed as a teenager. My looks and hair colour stayed looking like an adult version of childhood DM 😂 We look nothing like each other now. You wouldn’t think she was related to me or her childhood self.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 07/04/2025 02:19

Inastatus · 06/04/2025 22:01

My DD looks like me but has her Dad’s traits. DS looks like DH but has my traits.

What's it like having a kid who looks like you? Is it a bit weird to see what you actually look like, if you see what I mean?!

ThisFluentBiscuit · 07/04/2025 02:27

Inastatus · 06/04/2025 22:45

No , I don’t think so, sometimes you just get a unique kid who doesnt fit any ‘mould’.

Show quote history

I actually find this topic fascinating. That is, how traits are passed down and who looks/acts like who. For example, I can never understand how siblings are often so very, very different when they share the same two parents. You'd think they'd be really similar! You also get people who look nothing like either of their parents. I think often, people look just like someone from a few generations back.

As regards how siblings can be so different, I've decided it must be because we are not just a mix of only our parents, but a mix of everyone who came before them, too. For instance, if one child in a family has a great talent for art, but no one else in the family does, it's quite possible imo that someone in the family 150 years ago had that talent and it's popped up again.

And I always wonder what it's like to have a child who really looks like you.

Fascinating all round, imo.

theprincessthepea · 07/04/2025 02:31

My DD is in her teens and we are constantly told that we look alike - although she really looks like her dad! She has a mix of our personalities. But I’ve spent so much time with her that we finish each others sentence, have interesting debates. Enjoy similar entertainment, and usually are thinking the same thing about a situation- but we do have very very different hobbies and interests - she’s not really into what I am into or was into at that age.

My second is still a baby - looks nothing like me - all dad!

princesspadam · 07/04/2025 02:52

two of mine are very similar to me
the third is just like his dad

its crazy to see how it happens

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