I would be an idiot to message right

[OneSparklyExpert]

had a brief relationship with a man which ended in a child being born. He cut me off and when the baby was born I messaged his mum and sister on Facebook. Mum blocked me and sister was initially interested but than went dead due to her mental health (think she had a relationship break down).
Anyway I ended by giving my email address and deleting my Facebook account.
For the last week I've had a desire to message her again. Not sure why.
Bad idea right? I've never meet her btw.

If you don’t want to meet her than what is the point of this thread? Just leave her alone.

Remind them that my child still exists

If I got a message from a random women claiming she had my brothers child and my brother and mother presumably denying it I would of either joined in the blocking or been very British made the right noises and then hope you’d disappear.

If I had wanted to meet or get pictures of the child I’d of asked.

Yes and when you showed pics and proof... You would know that's your nephew/niece and your brother gets your dick wet without consequence

this is not her problem, and while it’s gutting for you she initially seemed keen, she’s stopped replying and that’s where to leave it really, she has your email and can contact you in the future.

So you’ve done a dna test?

and frankly where my brother puts his dick is not my concern or problem 😅

Their choice, their silence speaks volumes, I'd drop it before you get into trouble for harassment.

Persue the CMS claim though

Don't be daft on both accounts

Sounds like what you are actually upset about is the fact he wants nothing to do with you.

That‘s the risk you take when you have a baby with a ONS / fling.

All you can really do now is continue with the CMS.

Yes until he becomes a loser who abandons his children?

No I don't.

I'm engaged.....

Why pester the woman if she has mental health problems?

She has your email address and id she wanted to get in touch she would.

So if you’ve done a dna test the child maintenance should have no problem finding him as it would have all his details.

And that would be me calling my brother a twat sure but I wouldn’t be involving myself between the pair of you baby wise.

And I’m Meghan Markle.

Seems like somebody is bored on a Sunday evening.

The only person being daft (or totally stupid) is you OP. If you don't want opinions then don't ask...and maybe try growing up a little

This is a very bizarre thread. Did you deliberately get pregnant in the hope to trap this guy, it didnt work, he and his family dont want you in their lives, you want to reach out to his sister, but you dont care about her or want to meet her, but you want to chat to her just to share photos????

Unfortunately this.

They know your child exists and if they wanted to get in touch they would.

Honestly, I’d leave it. He sounds like a deadbeat and his mother blocked you so you and your child are probably better off not being in contact with them.

You don’t need to have his NI number.You have his name and his date of birth-that can get it from that.

Why are you so desperate for them to be in your child’s life? I’d take the hint!

At first I was going to say: what is it that you want? Is it that you want your DC to have family, is it that you need support (childcare etc), is it that you want CM?

then I read your updates and seeing as the wider family have blocked you and don’t want to know, you didn’t get any replies from the sister I think it’s a closed book. You did the right thing in leaving your email - if they want to get in touch they will. There is no point going back and forth and trying to force this relationship. At best, you’ll get a flaky auntie that your DC sees once a year through a forced visit and when the kid is older, they’ll be asking loads of questions not just about her being in and out of their life, but more importantly their dad

I get that you’re in a difficult situation, but given their attitude, you and your child may well be better off without them. If they did want to be involved they may turn your child against you, I’ve seen it happen. You’ve done you very best to engage with them so it’s not your fault your child doesn’t have a relationship with that side of their family. You’ve done the right thing, try to forget about them and move on. Being a single mum with absolutely no involvement from the father is hard, but many women have made an amazing job of it and you can too. Stop chasing after people who don’t care, and focus on you and your child.

I've been there. I know what it's like when all you want is for them to just acknowledge the child but unfortunately there's nothing you can do to enforce that. If they're not bothered about seeing him then they're best not being in his life anyway. I wouldn't message again.

This is a bit of a mad thread. The person you should be trying to contact is him - to get his details and properly go after him for child support.

It’s nothing to do with his sister. She has your details and would have contacted you if she wanted to. You don’t even want to meet, so you’d be contacting her…because you want this woman you’ve never met to see pictures of your child?

You must realise this is all a bit ridiculous.

If this man doesn't care that he's fathered a child, I don't think it's surprising that his mother and sister don't care, either. You don't want his sister to meet your child (which would be understandable), only to remind her of your child's existence? But why? What's the point, if you don't want any sort of relationship to develop? Are you just trying to get to him through his sister?

You can try again, but I wouldn't expect much. It's really not this woman's responsibility to pick up the pieces from her brother's bad behaviour, and she probably knows that if she takes any kind of interest in your child, her 'deadbeat dad' brother will view it as a betrayal.

Your baby was fathered by an irresponsible POS. All you can do now is try to be the best mother you can be.