DD friend is a furry/therian. Trying to encourage (strongly) my DD to be the same.

[Sockmate123]

What would you do in this situation? Child in class is 'recruiting' other children (mainly very quiet children) to be furries. She says she is a therian and presents as a wolf. School has banned her wearing wolf items to school but she still does on party days/world book day/non uniform etc
Parents seem to do littke about it
Quite older parents. Children are 10. My DD has so far not engaged but likes the child involved but is being pressured. It was her birthday recently and friend bought her a tail 🙄

I think this is completely weird. Child digs holes at lunch time, barks at people etc cute/acceptable up until age 5 or 6 but not girls that are on the cusp of puberty!

AIBU?
Yes- she's only a kid, will spon grow out of it.
No - its weird, school and parents should do more to address it

You say both of her parents are older and career driven OP. The little girl is I think crying out for her parents to really notice her but as they seem unable to meet their daughters emotional needs she has gone looking elsewhere. Possibly she has found a group of furries online that give her the emotional support she needs. Being a wolf lets her escape her reality and go to the place she feels her needs are best met.

There was a young girl I knew would have been 9 at the time and she too would exhibit behaviour that was inappropriate for her age and distressing for the children in her class. Her parents were also older and very career focused and so she spent most weekends on her own visiting museums, art galleries, parks etc. The parents bought her a bus pass and thought that was good enough as she could entertain herself. She behaved inappropriately as it meant the adults leading the class would speak to her parents who in turn would speak to her. Bad behaviour seemed to be the only way to get their attention in this child’s world.

100% discourage this not typical behavior.

I think your Hoover may have sucked up that tail … which is why it is missing.

Push other friendships. Become a tail wearer or deepening this friendship is going to make your daughter lonely. Others will reject her.

Keep her busy with new interests and new friendships.

Watch Colin from Accounts series 2 episode 5 Waterfall on IPlayer. Has furries in it.

My son (9) is autistic and has played cats almost daily since nursery. Mainly with 1 particular child who also likes playing cats and also may be autistic. They both often revert to meowing if socially awkward and don't want to speak. As they are getting older we are aware it's more and more 'odd' but we would never call it any more than 'playing cats' and he gets told not to (by me) at school so that he doesn't ruin his shoes and trousers from crawling around. He has 2 cats, wears clothes with pics of cats and loves to talk about cats. He has been a cat for every Halloween and world book day since he started school. BUT he doesn't think he is a cat and we will not be encouraging any of that nonsense. Ultimately he doesn't have access to the internet and won't until high school. Hopefully the 'identify as cat' nonsense will pass him by.

This is what I know of it, just kids playing. I don't know why so many are saying it's sexual and trans..... maybe for their kids 🙄
The ones I know, know their not cats or wolves. Their just playing and they enjoy having tails

When I was 9 or 10 I used to beg my mum for my sisters bottles and dummies cause we were playing families and I wanted to be the baby.

Therian is more than just playing as a cat (or whatever animal)

it does sound sweet and nothing wrong with dressing up, but the community is full of sexual kinks etc that you really don’t want children drawn to.

This example is only applicable if you’re doing or trying to do some of this: turning up to school with a bottle and dummy, refusing to eat lunch as it’s not baby food, refusing to sit in a chair in class, only responding in baby talk and telling all your friends to treat you like a baby. And especially in the ops case trying to pressure all your friends into being babies too. Did you get them dummies annd bottles for their birthdays like the ops daughter was bought a tale. Everyone plays make believe. Furries don’t think it’s make believe .

Use straight language. My gran always did and I don't care if it was non-PC. Greedy was greedy, fat was fat, lazy was lazy, dirty was dirty, etc. Such predilections had only the following designations in her household - stupid, embarrassing, waste of time. No explanation needed - we don't explain to our children why shit is shit? It is just shit, right?
Edited to add - tell your dd to stop being friends with this mentally ill person - nothing good will come of it. Just say - this person is unwell in the head and does not attempt to become better, so this is a lost cause.

On the other hand - fight fire with fire - say - if you try this shit yourself, myself and dad are going to wear dog's ears and tails and walk on all fours next time your friends visit. We shall sniff your friends' arses by way of a greeting and bark with delight or bite your friends, depending on the mood. Maybe then she will see sense?

Fuck me pink and call me rosey, this is way beyond make-believe!! This is insanity.

@Sockmate123 I'd be right into this school and insisting that your DD is not exposed to this crap. Make sure your DD understands that it's absolute bloody nonsense. I'd have sent mine into the middle of next week if they went out digging holes! What is she digging with? And who is being left to clear up her mess?

Stop the world, I want to get off.

It is absolutely not on for an adult to call a child "mentally deficient".

🤷‍♀️ the group of kids I know refer to themselves as therians and they all know their children. They just enjoy pretending with their tails and ears.

This is what I mean about maybe other people's kids think it's ssxual and trans, real or whatever, but the ones I know don't 🤷‍♀️

Had no idea it was linked tbh the children I know who play therian just genuinely like play pretend, nothing sinister just kids being kids no tranks kink ect

It’s higher risk because these might be just being kids but they go online, see something furry, think that’s what I like! click it, talk to people who are friendly and welcoming, and get drawn into them. I say play how you like but don’t pretend it’s real for real and don’t call yourself a furry or therian.

I wouldn’t want my child near a kid like that, sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️

This thread has been eye opening to say the least. It's actually my dd and her friends. I don't know about their house rules but my dd isn't allowed access to any sort of search or YouTube. Just netflix & games.

Ita definetly just for fun with my DD, she's currently saving up for a demon slayer costume and she knows she isn't a demon slayer either 😅

I'll be keeping an extra ear out when their playing now

We'll agree to disagree.

@Billionthtimeivenamechanged2025 how does your DD know about Therians? Have you any idea what she looks at when at other people’s houses? Did you not look into what Therians and possible issues when she started calling herself one

Why meet her out of school then?

Play is great..please understand though that this isn't innocent play !!! Not at the age of 10. This is potentially much darker and more serious. The OP is right to worry. I would speak to school and express my concerns.

Who cares? Sounds completely harmless.

Why is it "dark" and "serious" to pretend to be a wolf?

The girl is very likely autistic, and the way people are talking about her here is really shocking.

@DeskJotter have you not read other posters concerns to understand the issue?