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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paedophile taking his kid to sports at weekend

309 replies

Pumpkin05 · 06/04/2025 01:03

Long story short information has come to light someone I know was convicted and imprisoned for paedophile charges, some 20 years ago (Information is verifiable)
Flash forward he now has a wife and young child and takes said child to sports clubs and matches at the weekend.
AIBU to think this is strange, and not want my child to attend said sports matches with him there? or am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
Winifredtabago · 07/04/2025 17:21

fiveIsNewOne · 07/04/2025 17:16

Some posters mentioned that "making" in this context in the law means making a copy (for example by downloading from the internet), not creating the image.

https://www.olliers.com/news/what-does-making-indecent-images-mean/

Which really shifts it. I'm not saying it isn't disgusting, just that the risk to a real child at football aren't that high as if he harmed a child personally.

Show quote history

So how did he end up going to jail for what he did? Would be very rare for someone to spend time in jail for merely copying an image of CA.

Also I would suggest people be wary that he isnt using his phone to video or photo the kids which can then be used to create abuse images. This has been on the news recently as the latest thing these people are doing!

SinnerBoy · 07/04/2025 17:39

KickHimInTheCrotch · Yesterday 19:11

Not to minimise at all but possession, making and distributing images is a non-contact offence. It demonstrates a sexual interest in children but it would be a big step to say there was an imminent risk of a contact offence.

Each image and video contains a child, who was sexually abused. He may not have done so physically, but he and "men" like him are equally culpable.

20 years ago, it was treated less seriously. I worked with a scumbag who was arrested in the office, in 2000. He'd been "working" late and using the company printers to produce images he'd got from the internet.

We followed the court case, he had thousands and thousands of the vilest stuff imaginable - he got 5 months.

Seventree · 07/04/2025 17:42

I (perhaps naively) thought pedophiles we're put on the sex offenders register and prevented from being near children after their release?

It's incredibly unpleasant and I'd be wary, but realistically there could be unknown pedophiles at any event. At least you know to pay special attention to this one.

WongKarCry · 07/04/2025 17:55

Seventree · 07/04/2025 17:42

I (perhaps naively) thought pedophiles we're put on the sex offenders register and prevented from being near children after their release?

It's incredibly unpleasant and I'd be wary, but realistically there could be unknown pedophiles at any event. At least you know to pay special attention to this one.

They’ll usually go on the register, but sometimes only for x number of years. I think that’s wrong and they should be on it for life unless it’s something like an 18 year old having consensual sex with a 15 year old - I think they should be given another chance.

YoNoHeSido77 · 07/04/2025 17:56

Justgoodforthegetting · 06/04/2025 06:39

Just playing devils advocate here OP but how much of the circumstances of his offending are you actually aware of?

people may disagree with me but I’d argue that an 18 year old having sexual contact with his 15 year old girlfriend then this being reported to police is very different from the same 18 year old grooming them raping or sexually assaulting their 6 year old cousin.

Both are criminal offences, both would lead to the male in question being on the sex offenders register for offences against children.
I’d argue that these two men would present wildly different risks to very young children.

If he is still on the register then he may be subject to certain conditions.
ultimately though, there are genuinely paedophiles absolutely everywhere in society, your children will come into contact with many. Just make sure you safeguard them.

Totally agree. There are nuances. Not that either is ok but one I’d allow around my kids, the other I wouldn’t.

Crazyworldmum · 07/04/2025 18:04

Do you think his wife knows ? Do people around him know ? Including sporting organisations? I would try and find out the above and if there is any restrictions on him being around children . If they were not aware obviously they would be now and they could at least be on guard .
I can see why it upsets you as it would upset me a lot

ThatAmberQuoter · 07/04/2025 18:09

Paedophiles never change. I know as I was abused by numerous family members and had the nerve to tell me it's all cured now after having counselling. All lies as I later found out when we reported them. Police told us there were numerous charges on this person and we had added 4 more of rape.

CowboyJoanna · 07/04/2025 18:11

Let the club know if you have proof. Keep your distance from him, make sure your kids dont interact with him or his children. Be careful

FOXYMORON1707 · 07/04/2025 18:12

noworklifebalance · 06/04/2025 05:51

I hear you @Pumpkin05 - I wouldn’t be comfortable either.
It’s irrelevant that there are likely to be paedophiles walking amongst us. You now know there is one and you know who it is and you can undo that bit of knowledge.
I presume he has not been castrated surgically or medically. Happy to be corrected that rehab works but I don’t think it does.

I agree it does not work they have a sex*ual preference for minors maybe of a certain age though. Either way they are all around some have these thoughts tho don’t act on them. Good to know and be giving him a wide berth sadly.

Khayker · 07/04/2025 18:13

How can you verify the information you have received? How trustworthy is the person who gave you this info and how do they know?

FOXYMORON1707 · 07/04/2025 18:14

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 06/04/2025 06:48

And you know this how?
Are you a psychiatrist specialising in this particular field? Do you lecture on this from a place of research.
Or are you merely a faily dail, social media believer?

Show quote history

Am not an expert either tho my husband is in this field. It’s a sexual preference not likened to being gay tho a preference. Lots of people have the urge tho don’t act on in. Castration and medication can help the urges.

Velmy · 07/04/2025 18:18

Does the club have a WhatsApp chat or FB group? I'd be posting the details in there so other parents can make an informed decision.

RavenhairedRachel · 07/04/2025 18:20

They walk amongst us I'm afraid. I once watched a documentary about a little girl that went missing at s fairground (this was before social media etc.) They made an appeal for people to send photos in they had taken at the fair and dozens of paedophiles were identified.

Icanhearabee · 07/04/2025 18:23

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 06/04/2025 06:48

And you know this how?
Are you a psychiatrist specialising in this particular field? Do you lecture on this from a place of research.
Or are you merely a faily dail, social media believer?

Show quote history

Because if they are sexually attracted towards minors, then they always will be. Duh.

femsrad · 07/04/2025 18:25

I wouldn’t let him anywhere near me or my children. They don’t change. Good for you, listen to your instincts. Don’t forget, there’ll even be some on here unfortunately, so be careful who’s advice you take.

Lollipop81 · 07/04/2025 18:48

No you’re not over-reacting I would feel exactly the same. Although as others have said at least you know. Does his wife know I wonder? Well at least you can keep your child away from him, I feel for his kid as there is no saying what he might do to him/her.

Owl55 · 07/04/2025 18:49

I would be concerned if he enters the changing rooms at the sports club ?

Karmakamelion · 07/04/2025 18:50

StubbornStool · 06/04/2025 05:06

He’s done his time.

You seem very relaxed about this. I wonder whether you would be so calm if this was your child in his company

Vynalbob · 07/04/2025 18:54

There's two unknown possibilities that would make me want to take the only action I can legally think of...

  1. His partner may not be aware (for whatever reason).
  2. Often parents of kids attending sports clubs are sometimes asked to help (eg trips or transport). This is obviously very dodgy to say the least.
I would have a chat with the police and ask if they can put your concerns at rest, eg he's not who you think he is or was never on the register as say it was a 17yrold & a 15yr old and the judge said it was unwarranted. Hopefully they'll either say he's okay or they've had a quiet word with the club about keeping him at a distance. Not sure what you can do beyond this (the new law I think pertains to women worried about new partners so not sure whether they'd give you any detailed information).
eastegg · 07/04/2025 19:05

KickHimInTheCrotch · 06/04/2025 06:24

Practical things you can do:

You can obviously protect your child by making sure you don't leave them alone when its not safe to and talk to them in an age appropriate way about safety, that they know not to trust adults they don't know well. This will help protect them against all potentially dangerous adults, not just the one you know about.

Children's organised sports usually have very clear safeguarding arrangements so it is worth finding out what that is for your club and making sure you inform them of your concerns. The safeguarding lead will take appropriate actions.

Depending on the type of offences the Individual may still be on the register and may be monitored by the police. You can contact the police and inform them of your concerns, they may not be aware that he is attending the events and want to do further checks/disclosures.

I agree with this.

There are things you can do.

JakeyRolling · 07/04/2025 19:07

I say this al the time as my job brings me loosely into contact with some of these people - don’t worry about those that are convicted. You know who they are and what they’ve done and everyone will be watching them.
Worry about the sheer number of people that have never been caught before - the number of first offenders I’ve seen scares me. Some of them have been downloading images for years.

MadeForThis · 07/04/2025 19:10

He's sexually attracted to children. That won't change. I would make the club aware and never take my eyes off him.

Hmm1234 · 07/04/2025 19:13

Pumpkin05 · 06/04/2025 01:03

Long story short information has come to light someone I know was convicted and imprisoned for paedophile charges, some 20 years ago (Information is verifiable)
Flash forward he now has a wife and young child and takes said child to sports clubs and matches at the weekend.
AIBU to think this is strange, and not want my child to attend said sports matches with him there? or am I over-reacting?

You need to send that ‘verified information’ anonymously by email to the club so that they can enforce safeguarding measures. If you feel confident enough why not confront the father with the info?
I’m pretty sure he would be on the sex offenders list for life and not allowed within a specified young person. So yes this is very concerning he’s even probably had a name change

minisoksmakehardwork · 07/04/2025 19:16

Seventree · 07/04/2025 17:42

I (perhaps naively) thought pedophiles we're put on the sex offenders register and prevented from being near children after their release?

It's incredibly unpleasant and I'd be wary, but realistically there could be unknown pedophiles at any event. At least you know to pay special attention to this one.

This is the information about duration of time on sex offenders register. It depends on the length of sentence and whether they are subject to any type of hospital order. This is information for those under and over 18 at time of conviction.

Paedophile taking his kid to sports at weekend
Paedophile taking his kid to sports at weekend
CountessWindyBottom · 07/04/2025 19:24

I'd absolutely speak to the safeguarding lead. And I'd do so in case he involves himself in the sport in any way. And he can do this by not necessarily coaching or in any official capacity but by ingratiating himself as an extra pair of hands, available for lifts, someone to help in the changing rooms etc. And what if he is a prolific photographer at these events? It is a genuine safeguarding issue given his record.

I wouldn't give a single solitary fuck if he has 'served his time'. The exploitation of children for sexual purposes is heinous, unforgivable and sick so all eyes with responsibility for the children need to know.