Hottest day, just broken up from school - don't just pop roundnd

[Overhaul54]

Yes done to death on here but my lovely friend has just popped round uninvited. Again. I live alone ( except for when DS is back from uni ) so it's just me to do everything.
It's 3 in the afternoon on a boiling day and I was in my tiny garden in a n old bikini reading Looking shite and sweaty ( she knows I love sunbathing).Just came in for a wee.
My house is one room downstairs so anyone coming round literally sees any mess ( sun-dried washing waiting to be ironed, life admin on the table some presents to be wrapped ),
The front door is that wobbly glass so people outside can see movement inside
She used to teach. Surely she knows that the first day you break up is a bloody holiday to do what you want. Just phone first it's not hard.

Sounds like a 'you' problem. No need to be nasty or brusque. Just grown-up

I have no issue with a) friends dropping in and b) telling them it's not convenient and I'll call later to make plans.
OP on the other hand has problems with both

I did b) didn’t I.

I am moaning about a). I would like to be hospitable . I feel this is much easier if you have clothes on.

@Overhaul54 have you coat sitting out so you can put it on before you answer the door!! say you have to go out!! works a treat! and see the toilet door, keep it open so she cannot see right to the back of the house!

I feel your pain OP. I wouldn't like that either. I even hate unexpected calls, lol.
Only about once a week my house is presentable to visitors, when I've just done a big clean/tidy up. If I know someone is coming, then I'll do the clean/tidy up before hand. The only exception is family, we've all seen each other at our worst so it doesn't matter.
I actually think it's very poor manners to just turn up. Try it out on her and see how she likes it.

She keeps stuff in for guests- You could do that too. Also just own the mess. I knew someone who was compulsively tidy and she envied people’s slight clutter as she thought it was more ‘homely’

Get a door curtain and close it when you don’t want visitors

No matter the differences it's clear you just likes you and doesn't care about the mess?

I hate anyone just randomly turning up, my home is my safe space. It takes two minutes to send a text or call to check.

This I would feel exactly the same

Yes I am a child but this really made me laugh

Tension rod and an opaque fabric panel will sort that nicely.

Just claim you were in garden with headphones on you couldn’t hear her, don’t feel guilty lying to CF.

I don't answer the door if I don't want to.
It doesn't matter if you don't answer and she knows you are there. If she brings it up, just say 'sorry, I didn't know it was you, I was sunbathing and didn't want to answer the door, can you message next time?'

It wouldn't bother me, I would be pleased to see my friend. However I don't live in the UK, here it's perfectly acceptable for friends to call in without making an appointment - and thank goodness for that!

Also, have we gone back to the 1950s?? All this angst about houses being untidy, not having food/drink in for guests? It's just plain weird that you can't entertain a friend without everything in the house being perfect.

I agree with you OP. Sometime we and our houses just aren’t guest ready, even if it is a friend.
Get a curtain up behind your front door.

Did you miss the bit where I had an old bikini on and was all red and sweaty?
My very best friend maybe.
This one, not so much.

I used to think a bit like this and now I realise many people never have anyone call over either announced or unannounced. Don't think like this at all anymore and all welcome at anytime.

But I think most people would let you know they were nearby and could they call over. I think completely unannounced is pretty rare nowadays with such easy communication.

It’s perfectly acceptable not to answer your own front door if you don’t feel like it. Exhaustion is a good enough reason.

I would put up a blind or curtain to cover the glass in that door.

You were asleep in the garden with your Air Pods in anyway so wouldn’t have heard the door…

Yeah I don't have a problem with not answering the door ( and therefore people dropping by wouldn't be an issue). I feel rude ignoring someone if they can tell you are in.

For example if I'm cooking a) they can see/ hear me by the front door and b) there's no one to take over cooking so either I have turn everything off or they have to stand in the tiny kitchen in the way.

I know people that say " take me as you find me" but as I'm on my own I'm often half dressed or waxing my mustache or putting hair dye on etc.

Someone mentioned if this is a class thing - but which way round? I hate unexpected callers, so does this make me WC or MC?

Neither. The ‘hating unexpected callers because neither my house nor me are “visitor-ready”’ is typically lower-middle class.

@SedumRoof Yes obviously the confidence to be yourself is a middle / upper class thing.

But none of my middle class friends have a choice of toilet where either everyone in their garden can hear you or anyone coming to front door.

Actually posh people are uncomfortable if they are "caught out" by people further up the food chain then them.

It wouldn’t trouble me. Who cares if she sees mess or an old bikini?

Had me baffled. I decided it must have been a regional term for bikini-clad boobs.