Hottest day, just broken up from school - don't just pop roundnd

[Overhaul54]

Yes done to death on here but my lovely friend has just popped round uninvited. Again. I live alone ( except for when DS is back from uni ) so it's just me to do everything.
It's 3 in the afternoon on a boiling day and I was in my tiny garden in a n old bikini reading Looking shite and sweaty ( she knows I love sunbathing).Just came in for a wee.
My house is one room downstairs so anyone coming round literally sees any mess ( sun-dried washing waiting to be ironed, life admin on the table some presents to be wrapped ),
The front door is that wobbly glass so people outside can see movement inside
She used to teach. Surely she knows that the first day you break up is a bloody holiday to do what you want. Just phone first it's not hard.

YANBU op, unannounced visits are rude unless it's an emergency.
People don't do it to me anymore because I don't answer the door unless they've phoned me beforehand and I rarely answer my phone.
I've had family say " I popped round the other day but you weren't in " and I usually reply " oh was that you knocking? I don't do drop ins, you'll need to phone first next time "
I never drop in to someone and I don't appreciate it being expected of me either.

Can you get any kind of curtain/covering across the front door area?

I've just had a major brush with the grim reaper. Nobody cares about your mess, if you thought you were dying you'd be greatful for any visits.
Fwiw I am very messy. I still have packing boxes years after a move.
Untidy is not dirty imo.

I would just say oh I must have been listening to music.

The point is to stop them from doing it repeatedly. TBH none of my lovely friends would “pop round” like this anyway because none of us likes it.

If someone dropped me as a friend because they thought they had a right to enter my home without invitation, I am OK with that. I do appreciate not everyone is blessed with lots of friends but it’s OK to have boundaries I hope.

@Lucelady OP isn’t dying, she just wants some time on her own.

The grim reaper would have judged your mess tbf.

@Watermill by OP walked past the glass door. Her friend will have seen her. In this situation, refusing to open the door is similar to opening it and saying “go away”.

We broke up yesterday, too. I've been a right grump all day. I just don't need people around me right now, not for 48 hours, then I'll be back to my usual selfish.

Ha! Usual self not selfish 😁

OP I would take the photo down as if your friend is on here and see’s that she will absolutely know the post is about her, which I am assuming you wouldn’t want considering you didn’t feel comfortable telling her you didn’t want her to visit to her face

It really isn’t 😂

Even if it is, she can just say what @TomatoSandwiches suggested upthread.

Hope friend will not be rude enough to pop by uninvited in future.

You open it and say ‘X, you’ll excuse me if I don’t invite you in — I’m absolutely exhausted and don’t feel like company. I’ll call you tomorrow and let’s have a drink next week when I’ve recovered from termtime?’

No need for pretending to be our, or a burglar.

I couldn’t say that to a friend. Rightly or wrongly, I just couldn’t.

if you don't want people to think you're in, cover the window with something like a voile panel, they won't be able to see through that plus the wavy glass and you'll still have light in your hallway

If she is a true friend why would she judge you on mess or your attire ? Home in your own garden enjoying the sun . Housework will always be there , sunshine in UK not so much . I never understand why unexpected callers are such a big thing on MN . Maybe not a cultural thing where I am . Guess this is where the reputation of being cold and unwelcoming stems from. Or fear of being caught with an imperfect house .
Real friends should always be welcome and also be able to be told if you really can't stop cooking or need to bath a child. As for strangers you shouldn't care what they think they are not in your life.

Not to play down your near death experience, but why would that mean that OP should be grateful for unannounced and unwelcome visitors that make her feel uncomfortable?

My house is one room downstairs so anyone coming round literally sees any mess ( sun-dried washing waiting to be ironed, life admin on the table some presents to be wrapped ),

If that's the only mess on view, you have nothing to be concerned about. It's not like you've got mountains of unwashed crockery strewn around or anything like that.

Nevertheless, I agree you're entitled to have the choice and due warning whether anyone visits or not.

Get a spring loaded curtain pole (about a tenner from Amazon), a door curtain (about a tenner from Amazon), put pole and curtain up, pull curtain across.

Bingo. Nobody sees movement, you get something that will help keep excessive heat out in summer, draughts and much needed warmth in during winter.

Amazing that a mnetter opened the door anyway,
but here is the opportunity to say to your friend "don't come round on the last day of school - this is important time to me to unwind"

I totally understand , could be family or friends … I HATE unexpected visitors. No matter how much I like or love them , I just don’t like it. So I hear ya OP !

This 👍🏻

Your choice, of course, but by not being honest you’re then choosing to be made uncomfortable over a much longer period by inviting in an unwanted visitor for whom you’re not in the humour.

If you’d dropped by someone’s house unexpectedly, wouldn’t you prefer they told you they were too tired for visitors, and suggested another time? Rather than sitting having coffee with someone who is privately praying for you to leave?

Oh my god.... what are your meds?!

I don't usually do or get drop ins, but if you said that to me, I wouldn't be back.

Genius 😎