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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be tired of living next to other people?

160 replies

GrumpyNeighbourAgain · 05/04/2025 09:11

Is anyone else tired of having neighbours? Has anyone else moved to somewhere more remote as a result?

My neighbours aren’t nearly as bad as some that I’ve had but they’re still grating on me. I don’t like kids and I’m tired of all the noise and accoutrements that come with them. Every week it feels like there’s another giant play item blocking my view and they also put it closest to my fence though there’s one side that has no one next to it.

I’m tired of screaming children. Why do children all seem to scream unnecessarily now and why does no one tell them to stop it?

Neighbour’s teenage kids shouting, laughing and talking at full volume coming home at 3am.

I’m tired of people’s motorbikes, garden parties and just noise in almost every form.

I wouldn’t mind having neighbours who are around, say 100 yards from me but not much closer.

Has anyone else moved more rurally/remote and was it worth it?

TIA

OP posts:
GaspingGekko · 05/04/2025 10:20

We used to live on the edge of a village. Not rural - so no tractors or farms - but spread out houses (in a protected wood so no possibility of more houses being built). We had an elderly couple who lived maybe 100m away, then the next nearest house was maybe half a mile.

I feel the same as you, I hated living in flats becauseof the noise, and even just a shared wall in houses is too much for me. So I personally loved the isolation.

pearbottomjeans · 05/04/2025 10:21

Loads of people move for this reason. Surely the main draw of detached houses, otherwise what's the point of them? Why would you keep yourself somewhere you don't like?

MikeRafone · 05/04/2025 10:24

This makes me realise how lucky I must be, I live between 2 schools so at 8.30 and 3pm its busy, but my neighbours aren't a problem and its peaceful

PinkCatInATree · 05/04/2025 10:31

No neighbours at all and LOVE it - also love it when nearest neighbours call in on bikes / horses / foot / with dogs for a coffee or a chat but then go away again. We have a village WhatsApp group if anything were to happen and I needed someone I know they would help.

Absolutely no downsides to being rural and remote (as a fit and solvent person in my 50s)

PhatGurlSlim · 05/04/2025 10:32

I am semi detached. I always get paranoid that the neighbours on the detached wall can hear me. I have a counselling session each week and worry that they can hear me talking. My counsellor assures me that the probably can't, but I still wonder.

NancyJoan · 05/04/2025 10:33

Living cheek by jowl w lots of people is noisy, and families with children will have toys and play equipment as well as noise.

If people noise/family living bothers you this much, the only solution is to move to somewhere quieter. Either somewhere remote, or at least somewhere detached, with double glazing. I love the buzz of city living, and hated growing up in the middle of a field, but I appreciate we are not all the same.

springtimemagic · 05/04/2025 10:34

GrumpyNeighbourAgain · 05/04/2025 09:11

Is anyone else tired of having neighbours? Has anyone else moved to somewhere more remote as a result?

My neighbours aren’t nearly as bad as some that I’ve had but they’re still grating on me. I don’t like kids and I’m tired of all the noise and accoutrements that come with them. Every week it feels like there’s another giant play item blocking my view and they also put it closest to my fence though there’s one side that has no one next to it.

I’m tired of screaming children. Why do children all seem to scream unnecessarily now and why does no one tell them to stop it?

Neighbour’s teenage kids shouting, laughing and talking at full volume coming home at 3am.

I’m tired of people’s motorbikes, garden parties and just noise in almost every form.

I wouldn’t mind having neighbours who are around, say 100 yards from me but not much closer.

Has anyone else moved more rurally/remote and was it worth it?

TIA

I totally agree. We live somewhere really quiet now - couldn’t take that.

Serious question - do you have noise/sensory sensitivity? Autistic?

notprincehamlet · 05/04/2025 10:35

You can't outrun dickish people, they're everywhere <sigh>.
And rural living comes with smells as well as noise.
Are lighthouse keepers still a thing??

Original poster
GrumpyNeighbourAgain · 05/04/2025 10:36

springtimemagic · 05/04/2025 10:34

I totally agree. We live somewhere really quiet now - couldn’t take that.

Serious question - do you have noise/sensory sensitivity? Autistic?

Show quote history

I am diagnosed autistic, yes.

OP posts:
Original poster
GrumpyNeighbourAgain · 05/04/2025 10:37

notprincehamlet · 05/04/2025 10:35

You can't outrun dickish people, they're everywhere <sigh>.
And rural living comes with smells as well as noise.
Are lighthouse keepers still a thing??

I’m used to the smells as I live opposite a farm. It’s very unpleasant at times but it doesn’t really affect my quality of life unlike the noise.

OP posts:
Marchingintoapril · 05/04/2025 10:37

I totally understand where you are coming from.
I am very private person and like my own solitude.
It's not so much the noise for me, but just being close to people (that I have nothing in common with). Two of them will use the front of my drive as a meeting place for their daily gossip, and it sends my anxiety through the roof (agoraphobia).

If I didn't have agoraphobia I might be okay with it.

Vinomummyinlockdown · 05/04/2025 10:41

I’m with you on this one! We live in a small culdesac off a bigger road. One neighbour jet washes and mowed their lawn allllll weekend almost every weekend. Another has a mechanic mate who uses his drive to fix 6 cars and all the noise that comes with it! Didn’t know I moved next to Kwikfit ffs! Other neighbour has 3 kids under age 9 - lets them into the garden at 6am to shout and scream on weekends. Other neighbour has a dog that barks every morning at 5.30am for ages. They also have 2 teens that come home with mates revving car engines at 2am. Last neighbour has 3 girls aged 17-21… for YEARS we’ve had parties in the garden. Gates banging, cars up and down, music / karaoke at 2am. It’s unreal. We make zero noise!! We have teens but they’re told to be quiet when coming and going. We don’t make gardening noises. I honestly want to run away most weeks!! People just don’t care. If you ask them to keep it down a bit they take major offence.

WindyWendyHouse · 05/04/2025 10:42

We live semi rural but our plans are to move further into the countryside.

We used to have a neighbour who was as quiet as a mouse but our new neighbours are so bloody noisy. If it's not their 3 year old twins screaming at 8pm every sodding night then it's the dogs barking or the cockerel being noisy or it's it's the husband chainsawing logs on a Sunday morning.

So yes. We'd love to move somewhere without neighbours.

FleaBeeBob · 05/04/2025 10:43

I’d take the normal noise form a neighbour over my kitten who treats my bed like his own trampoline at 5am every single morning!

DurinsBane · 05/04/2025 10:44

The teenagers being really noisy coming home at 3am is unreasonable. You should have a chat with your neighbours about that. The rest of it, pretty normal I think.

Moonlightdust · 05/04/2025 10:50

I dream of being surrounded by just fields. As a middle aged introvert I have little tolerance for noisy neighbours too OP. Luckily it’s not so bad where we live but I just love the sound of birds and nature these days, not vehicles and people!

Fairyliz · 05/04/2025 10:50

I live in a cul de sac where there are two families with primary age children and I barely hear them; I feel sad that they don’t play out more.
My bugbear is with the neighbours with their improvements/extensions. Noise, dust, blocking our driveway and the road. Lots of them seem to only communicate by swearing at the top of their voices. I’m assuming all that noise has made them deaf.

AthWat · 05/04/2025 10:51

GrumpyNeighbourAgain · 05/04/2025 09:11

Is anyone else tired of having neighbours? Has anyone else moved to somewhere more remote as a result?

My neighbours aren’t nearly as bad as some that I’ve had but they’re still grating on me. I don’t like kids and I’m tired of all the noise and accoutrements that come with them. Every week it feels like there’s another giant play item blocking my view and they also put it closest to my fence though there’s one side that has no one next to it.

I’m tired of screaming children. Why do children all seem to scream unnecessarily now and why does no one tell them to stop it?

Neighbour’s teenage kids shouting, laughing and talking at full volume coming home at 3am.

I’m tired of people’s motorbikes, garden parties and just noise in almost every form.

I wouldn’t mind having neighbours who are around, say 100 yards from me but not much closer.

Has anyone else moved more rurally/remote and was it worth it?

TIA

Children have screamed unnecessarily since the 18th century. Before that they spent most of their time screaming necessarily because life was so awful then.

Jasmin71 · 05/04/2025 10:54

I really wish I could afford to move somewhere isolated. I don't even like being around my nice neighbours. I am incredibly anti social and I only live here so that I can look after my mum on the same street. I totally understand how you feel.

Neveranynamesleft · 05/04/2025 10:57

I can cope with noise - just about - but I just wish I could go in my garden and sit out, eat a meal or just have some peace and quiet without being forced into a conversation i do not want with neighbours.

Sammysquiz · 05/04/2025 10:59

Children screaming while playing has definitely got worse. I’ve lived near a primary school for 20 years and always enjoyed the sound of playtime, but now the kids scream/screech all the time whereas that was never an issue in the past.

Enigma53 · 05/04/2025 11:02

Moonlightdust · 05/04/2025 10:50

I dream of being surrounded by just fields. As a middle aged introvert I have little tolerance for noisy neighbours too OP. Luckily it’s not so bad where we live but I just love the sound of birds and nature these days, not vehicles and people!

Ditto. The birdsong is just lovely to listen too. People and vehicles, on the other hand… Urghh

mindutopia · 05/04/2025 11:02

Yes, this was me. Lived on top of people and their parties and their loud sex and their customers knocking on the wrong door trying to buy drugs for years and years. 5 different big cities all over the world. I now live in a remote part of the moor with no near neighbours and can attest that it’s great!

babyproblems · 05/04/2025 11:07

I think the UK generally has such small living spaces so on that basis YANBU. It’s a bit mad to me that their play equipment is so close to you; it’s because the houses are all glued together in tiny spaces

florizel13 · 05/04/2025 11:08

See I can’t understand why they would put kids’ play equipment next to your fence when they have no-one on the other side! Just why? People can be so thoughtless!