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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a reception aged child could travel 20 minutes on the bus to school?

118 replies

ArtMonkey · 04/04/2025 06:53

I'm trying to find somewhere less rubbish to live following a break up. Currently live within walking distance of the school but a little house in the nicest area of the city has come up, I'm down to the last four applicants. DS would need to get used to a 20 minute bus ride though. We might be able to switch schools at year 3 but it's not guaranteed and unlikely before then (best school locally and oversubscribed.) He does get travel sick but maybe could get used to it? We basically walk everywhere or get the train now so it's not something he's exposed to often.

Other major downside is that his dad has him overnight one day a week but won't do school drop off. I'm currently in the mindset that he can either step up and do a drop off, visit at the new place (which he travels past on his way home from work) or it's his own fault he misses out.

What do you think - is the move doable?

YABU - stay where you are, it's not fair on DS
YANBU - take the house if it's offered

OP posts:
SoftandQuiet · 04/04/2025 06:55

God I thought you ment on his own!!

Summatoruvva · 04/04/2025 06:56

Of course it’s doable. I see loads of small kids in uniform on buses in the mornings. 🤞 Good luck

yellowsun · 04/04/2025 06:57

Lots of primary aged children get the bus to school. Go for it.

Pottedpalm · 04/04/2025 06:58

He might not get travel sick on a bus, car and coach journeys seem to induce sickness more than the stop/go of a bus route.

HelenWheels · 04/04/2025 06:58

absolutely it will be totally fine

Original poster
ArtMonkey · 04/04/2025 06:59

SoftandQuiet · 04/04/2025 06:55

God I thought you ment on his own!!

I didn't think of that, oops! 🤣

I'm mainly worried about the travel sickness. I will feel bad for DS if he sees his dad less often but I think I've been guilty of confusing what's best for DS and pandering to my ex at times.

OP posts:
WhatMe123 · 04/04/2025 06:59

Yup fine op

Greysquirrels · 04/04/2025 07:00

Absolutely. I used to catch a school bus to primary - took about 20-30 mins. Did it for 7 years.

GRex · 04/04/2025 07:01

20 minutes is fine. You'll need to remind him to wee at the end of the day (and check / send back in if he didn't), take easy snacks, and train him up to watch the vehicles or scenery so he enjoys the route. Most people on after school buses let little kids sit down, it's obvious they're shattered.

Ineffable23 · 04/04/2025 07:02

20 mins on the bus isn't stopping your child's father from seeing them. That's a decision they're making for themselves.

GRex · 04/04/2025 07:03

BTW - dad not doing a drop-off isn't relevant, the school isn't moving. Dad needs to either do drop-off or drop the school nights and have him Saturday nights instead, but that would be the same whether you move house or not.

Fatloss · 04/04/2025 07:03

Maybe try a couple of bus journeys to check the travel sickness. Otherwise the length of commute is fine.

TheNightingalesStarling · 04/04/2025 07:05

DD caught the school bus in Reception, 35 mins each way. The only issue was the Reception children sometimes fell asleep on the way home.

CaptainMyCaptain · 04/04/2025 07:07

SoftandQuiet · 04/04/2025 06:55

God I thought you ment on his own!!

So did I. With an adult is fine.

Not many people are travel sick on a bus. Try it out but take plastic bags just in case.

LlynTegid · 04/04/2025 07:07

I used to get travel sick as a child in a car, never in a bus. Might be the same for your DS.

AngelaMerkin1 · 04/04/2025 07:07

You could use Kwells (kids version) for the travel sickness for the first few rides until he gets used to it. They work really well for my DC.

NewName2025 · 04/04/2025 07:08

DD1 (almost 4y) gets travel sick in cars and public buses / coaches and there is absolutely no way i would inflict that on her twice a day. She has got sick in vehicles since she was 8mo and nothing seems to have changed so unsure as to the extent she would grow out of it or get used to it. Neither would I want to be medicating her twice a day. I think you need to do some practice bus journeys first to see if the travel sickness is there with the bus before you make a decision. Otherwise it's a bit cruel to expect a child to perform their best at school if they are being sick every day on the way there.

Edit to add - the time on the bus isn't an issue in my opinion, it's the sickness that is.

Ellieostomy · 04/04/2025 07:10

I voted YABU because I thought you meant on his own but changed it once I realised you didn’t. That’s absolutely fine, he’ll get used to it but I agree a couple of trial bus journeys to see how he copes is a good idea

Sprogonthetyne · 04/04/2025 07:11

If his dad sees him less, it's because dad refuses to do school drop off, not because of were you live. Are you currently picking him up from dad's to take him to school? I'd stop that even if you live the next street over. On dad's time it's his responsibility, meeting DS's needs, including his right to education, is part and parcel of parenting.

MumChp · 04/04/2025 07:12

Lots of children travel for school.

WoahThreeAces · 04/04/2025 07:13

NewName2025 · 04/04/2025 07:08

DD1 (almost 4y) gets travel sick in cars and public buses / coaches and there is absolutely no way i would inflict that on her twice a day. She has got sick in vehicles since she was 8mo and nothing seems to have changed so unsure as to the extent she would grow out of it or get used to it. Neither would I want to be medicating her twice a day. I think you need to do some practice bus journeys first to see if the travel sickness is there with the bus before you make a decision. Otherwise it's a bit cruel to expect a child to perform their best at school if they are being sick every day on the way there.

Edit to add - the time on the bus isn't an issue in my opinion, it's the sickness that is.

Edited

I agree with this. My son was very travel sick at that age and wouldn't have been able to do 20 mins on the bus

TheCurious0range · 04/04/2025 07:14

You could try the elasticated travel sickness bands, they seem to work for DS, not sure if they actually work or it's just psychosomatic but either way he says he doesn't feel sick in the car anymore! You can get them in boots

CaptainMyCaptain · 04/04/2025 07:15

NewName2025 · 04/04/2025 07:08

DD1 (almost 4y) gets travel sick in cars and public buses / coaches and there is absolutely no way i would inflict that on her twice a day. She has got sick in vehicles since she was 8mo and nothing seems to have changed so unsure as to the extent she would grow out of it or get used to it. Neither would I want to be medicating her twice a day. I think you need to do some practice bus journeys first to see if the travel sickness is there with the bus before you make a decision. Otherwise it's a bit cruel to expect a child to perform their best at school if they are being sick every day on the way there.

Edit to add - the time on the bus isn't an issue in my opinion, it's the sickness that is.

Edited

What will happen when she's at secondary school and has to travel further?

Ohdearwhatnow4 · 04/04/2025 07:16

If he does get sick try the wrists bands instead of medication (don't know what their called)

MuggleMe · 04/04/2025 07:17

How frequent are the buses and are they reliable?