My brother has published his memoir.

[Eatingricecrispieswithafork]

So my brother has written and published a book, we're estranged, well I'm estranged from my family, it's a shit show tbh.

Anyway during a Facebook messenger discussion, he told me he was writing his memoir, he's had an interesting life, I don't won't to say more as I'm trying to remain anonymous, anyway I told him to leave me out of it, he said I was only briefly mentioned in he named his 3 siblings. It came out before Xmas and despite telling myself to leave it, I bought it, I was dismayed that he had a few details. Of my childhood and adolescence and it was inaccurate, so I was a bit enjoyed, but was hardly mention3d in his later life ... then I got to the end, the photographs including 2 of me, 1 in particular was incredibly triggering, as it was taken during a very traumatic time for me and he knew that. He never asked my permission and I explicity told him I wanted left out of it. I Think he's either thought i wouldn't care or if I did i wouldn't have the money or the no how on what to do about it if anything, it's left me feeling like the lion cub that's been abandoned for the hyenas, they the family all know I'm autistic and struggletho with a lot of the nuances and aspects of everyday life... I just need some advice, your thoughts and if anyway has any knowledge about publishing laws and privacy. Thank you in advance.

Unfortunately, they don't need her explicit permission. And there's no way they will recall books for something like this.

Was this over email/text? If so, forward a copy to the publisher (redact what you don't want them to see).

"The inclusion of my name and image in this publication is extremely distressing. This was conveyed to my brother on [date] and I explicitly stated that I did not wish to be included or referenced in his memoir (see attached correspondence). My brother did not obtain my consent to include my image and I find it hugely invasive and a breach of my privacy to include these images. Furthermore, there are sections of the book which refer to events in my childhood which are erroneous/libellous/defamatory. I request that these sections [page number, paragraph, photo info] be removed from all electronic and audio versions of the book and of all subsequent print runs."

Not that this helps ….

but when my siblings & I recount the past, specific events — our recollections are very different from each other.
I am youngest & often it’s clear I didn’t understand some more mature topics and my recollection totally opposite elder sibs.

I'm fine with colours I was meaning if emotions were colours I would only see the basics not the 1001 deluxe shades, I envy your emotional intelligence, I really do being unable to express difficult emotions is a bit of a bustard for me and those around me, which is why I fucked off 500 miles away and started a new life in a place where I knew 2 people in the whole county. The calendar is great for quizzes as is my general knowledge ... but I'm on my 4th bank card in 6 months which is not so great 😃 thank you ... and thank you to everyone for taking the time to answer, I'm going to have to try and go to sleep now as I've been up since Wednesday morning, but I will come back 2morrow night and reply more. Thank you again or as the locals dioch xx

Thank u so much I'll reply properly tomorrow but I am very greatful x

I don't have any advice op, but I just want to say you sound like lovely and smart. I'm sorry your brother has done this to you, and that he lied in the book. That sounds pretty messed up. Was he trying to make it sound more entertaining than it would have been? Not that his motive really matters.

I'm sorry you're estranged from your family. My child had autism too.

Where were the photos taken?
Who took the photos?

The photographer owns the copyright, not the person who happens to have the physical prints.

If they were taken in a public place (park, beach, street) then your permission is not required.

Ways and means. A small publisher may not be able to recall the books, but going forward do they really want to publish when someone is pictured, not only without consent, but a picture that is causing distress.

Easier to remove.

OPs second post states:

1 Photo - on family holiday by a self timer or random passer by

2nd photo - in their garden, not mentioned who but I presume by a family member

not stating that Op mentioned it before to be rude, but more so you might be able to help further.

Argh excuse typos. You sound awesome, sorry you're family sucks. I'm not reccommending this as I'm sure you're family would be very upset but I could see a newspaper possibly interested in writing your side of the story as a feature.

You're not going to get existing hard copies of the book recalled, you can forget about that, let it go, it would cost the publisher a fortune to do, and they don't legally have to, so they won't.

You could write to them and ask for electronic copies to be amended/edited with you removed... again I doubt you actually have any legal weight to that request but they may do it.... (but probably not).

Or they might think you kicking up a stink about it will sell more copies. So tread carefully.

The photos will be used under 'fair usage' terms - or he has permission from the photographer - but either way, you don't own the copyright to them so you cannot stop him using them.

Telling lies about you - his response is likely to be 'thats the way I remembered it and its my memoir' and unless you actually stand to lose significantly, financially, say it would lose you your job or your professional reputation... again, no crime has been committed.

I agree with PP, best to just throw your copy in the bin and forget about it, unless your brother is famous, the chances are no ones going to read this and anyone who does won't know you... and the tiny number of people who DO will fall into one of two categories:

Those who know its all lies.
Those who don't care.

If they don't, then they're not your friends anyway, so forget them.

I’m so sorry your brother has betrayed you in this way. What he’s done is self-serving, without regard for you, your privacy or your feelings. I would be extremely angry. Maybe one day what goes round, comes around….just maybe.

Your responsibility now is to preserve your inner peace. Email the publisher, and inform them that you do not consent to any photos or references made to you or your childhood. You are considering legal action and leave it with them. Burn the book. Move on with your life, and do something lovely to lift your mood,

There is a good reason you now live so far away. Enjoy the peace that this offfers you. Don’t let them destroy your happiness. It’s very likely no one will read the damn thing anyway, it sounds very niche.

op, I don’t know if this has been mentioned already but you were a minor in those photos. Please add that too if you decided to write to the publishers, it will freak them out. I had something slightly similar in that someone talked on youTube about my child, mentioning name and surname. I wrote to the institution behind the videos and they shut the whole thing down in the space of hours.

Screenshot your messenger correspondence to prove you asked to left out of the book and confirm you have no consent to the use of your photo.

Most writers put in some acknowledgments at the end of their books. You should be able to find in there the names of the people who dealt with the book at his publishers. Contact them to let them know you are seeking advice about your inclusion.

People are giving the OP false hope here. He doesn’t need the permission of everyone he mentions in the book - they’re his memoirs and as long as he doesn’t defame the OP, he is within his rights to write about her. Loads of people write memoirs where they properly lay into their abusive parents or other family members- do you imagine that is done with the express consent of said family members? Of course not. It’s quite hard to prove defamation and it’s a defence to say that what is published is true.

There’s also nothing that can be done about the photo. You don’t have a legitimate expectation of privacy in ordinary snaps that now belong to your brother or have been given to him by the owner of the photos.

You need to let it go. I doubt many people will read it anyway - you risk a Streisand effect if you draw huge amounts of attention to it- he might take to social media or something. He seems to have respected your wishes for the most part anyway.

This is a totally different situation, your child was a child at the time, and you're talking about videos/social media.

There is absolutely no way that the OP will get these books recalled, altered, etc etc. None. It won't happen. Giving them false hope is not kind.

The fact the OP is a child in these photos is irrelevant, they do not own the copyright, so they have no legal recourse to get the pictures removed/books recalled. There is no law saying you can't use photos of kids in books, online, etc etc - there are laws prohibiting certain types of photography or photography depicting certain things, and laws preventing folk doing certain things with imagery (ie, posting someones kids pic online then doxxing them and inciting violence), but thats really it.

Did he publish his memoir himself?

is it a physical book available to buy in shops?

I also think you should consider moving on, that’s clearly been a successful strategy for dealing with your family’s rubbish previously.

I'm so sorry this happened to you.
It's not the exact situation but I was in someone's memoir, that was promoted by a publisher. No photos but I was easily recognisable and I felt the contents were not accurate/fair. It was about a decade ago and it took me quite a long time to stop feeling angry and violated. It must be especially difficult for you because of the betrayal by your brother and connections to your childhood.
I don't think there is anything you can do to get the book changed. I might be wrong but if you do try, be careful about the amount of energy you put in, knowing the book might stay the same. Only try if you think saying your piece, even if nothing changes, would help you.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. For me years on, it's helpful to know that no one connected to my life has read it, and that no one who reads it knows anything about the person I am now.

This op. Wait till they are all in the bargain book warehouse, buy them and destroy!

More seriously, unless he is really very interesting, there will very likely not be loads of copies circulating.

Sorry you have been treated this way.

The only thing you can rely on here is defamation, slander and libel.

He is within his rights to write about anyone he likes – he just can’t cause the above with the material. You say he presented information inaccurately, but the information, though inaccurate, has to have harmed your reputation for you to claim it’s slanderous or libellous. And you’d have to tangibly prove it’s harmed your reputation (for example a reduction of people using your business).

It’s up to the publisher to clear copyright of the images – which they likely will have done so. It will be in your brother’s contract with them to not include slanderous or libellous material – he would be financially liable for court/lawyer fees or pulping the books if so.

@BigHeadBertha is right. This will be bought by an incredibly small number of people - you probably doubled the sales the day you bought a copy. He sounds like a self-important arsehole and that will come through.

Think of all the memoirs that are published where the people written about would have a very different story to tell to the author - Prince Harry is just one example. People will understand that families can be very divided over accounts of past events. Just because your brother's published his account doesn't make it right, or truthful, or more believable.

Have a ceremony to burn it! And if anyone ever mentions it to you (again, very unlikely) give a reply like 'what's that saying? Don't believe everything you read. I might write my own book one day and that'll be a very different story!'

This.

I’d just talk it through in therapy and try not to waste headspace on it, OP. No small publisher is going to recall a tiny print run over something like this, the photos or the inaccuracy from your POV. Big publishing houses have their legal team all over every word of high-profile memoir, but this isn’t going to cause concern.

OP, the book doesn’t happen to be called “I regret almost everything”?