Page 3 | Behaviour issues Fortnite

NiftyShaker · 2025-04-03T19:44:58+00:00

Son plays a lot of Fortnite and behaviour around that time is awful. It’s either fights with friends, or sad he has to come off it. On the evenings he plays, we know there will be an issue afterwards and it’s very draining for everyone, including him I’m sure. We also have general behaviour issues and meltdowns, more than the average boy his age. He has gotten better during the game, letting more things go etc. He already has limited time on it compared to his friends. He gets to play every other day and comes off at 7 to wind down. Most of his other friends play whenever they want, until late in the evening past his bedtime. We are considering reducing his gameplay to once a week because these meltdowns really do take over the evening and we’ve had enough, and it’s clear this is not a healthy game for young boys to play. The issue is that all these friends chat online through mics when they are playing, so we are worried about isolating him from friends by reducing his gameplay time so drastically. AIBU? Has anyone else experienced similar and have advice of what worked for them?

Rollofrockandsand · 04/04/2025 09:30

Fortnite is evil. The fact that you cant stop the game meaning that they start shouting at you for asking them to put it away before they’ve died and the shouting, and the wanting new skins etc is awful. I think children being vile when playing it is incredibly common. Even my mild mannered son was revolting when he played as was my daughter. In the end, I just pulled the plug out when I wanted them to stop, was strict about when they could play it, probably banned it at times and after a very long phase of playing they got bored of it.

You just need to have proper boundaries around it and ban it when the behaviour gets bad. Mine are older now but the Fortnite phase still brings me out in a shudder

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/04/2025 09:38

How do you know a ban won’t work if you’ve never tried it? People have explained exactly why he shouldn’t be on it at all never mind for so long.

Stumbleine · 04/04/2025 09:39

We had this with Fortnite when my son was 8 (he is now 18). Only answer for us was a complete ban. His scarily extreme reaction told me I had made the right decision. Like a scene from trainspotting. No regrets. It was clearly messing up his brain chemistry. Nope, not having that.

Palmolivesoap · 04/04/2025 09:40

Thesonofaphesantplucker · 03/04/2025 21:51

My DS is not allowed Fortnite. He has never played it, and actually is allowed very little gaming time at all generally.

He has lots of friends, and him not playing it doesn’t seem to present any problems. In fact, he is increasingly telling me stories from school of how Fortnite is disrupting friendships rather than strengthening them, so I’m glad he doesn’t play.

I think it's a little disingenuous to dismiss the ops concerns about completely banning it affecting his friendships by comparing to our own same age children.
My son is basically the same age and has also never played Fortnite but none of his friends do they are all obsessed with football instead. If I was to ban football I can see how it would affect his friendships.

If all his friends are talking about it he'll start to feel left out. Although I'm sure someone will point out "what if they were all talking about heroin" so I'm not sure what my point is, I guess I just think it's disingenuous to dismiss the friendship concerns, what groups of children are interested in can vary from school to school so our own kids are irrelevant

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/04/2025 09:42

That particular games definitely has a worse impact than most games on children.
It is created to cause frustration.

I don't allow my DS play fortnite anymore for similar reasons.

Roblux is okay, he will play.rocket league on roblux, it is popular among 10 year olds.

Palmolivesoap · 04/04/2025 09:50

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/04/2025 09:42

That particular games definitely has a worse impact than most games on children.
It is created to cause frustration.

I don't allow my DS play fortnite anymore for similar reasons.

Roblux is okay, he will play.rocket league on roblux, it is popular among 10 year olds.

Is Roblox the one aimed at kids but is also full of grown noncey men with a chat feature that allows them to talk to the kids? I think there's quite a few games like that.
Just thought I'd add that on here I was quite shocked recently to find out so many parents didn't know this was a thing. Something for us to be aware of

PurpleThistle7 · 04/04/2025 09:54

Palmolivesoap · 04/04/2025 09:40

I think it's a little disingenuous to dismiss the ops concerns about completely banning it affecting his friendships by comparing to our own same age children.
My son is basically the same age and has also never played Fortnite but none of his friends do they are all obsessed with football instead. If I was to ban football I can see how it would affect his friendships.

If all his friends are talking about it he'll start to feel left out. Although I'm sure someone will point out "what if they were all talking about heroin" so I'm not sure what my point is, I guess I just think it's disingenuous to dismiss the friendship concerns, what groups of children are interested in can vary from school to school so our own kids are irrelevant

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For sure - my son plays football and would be sad to stop, my daughter dances and it’s the same. But neither of them have the sorts of screen involvement many of their friends do and they really are fine. I think it’s different than banning something they are doing in person as there are few benefits and many downfalls.

My daughter is 12 and has no social media access outside WhatsApp. She whined for a bit but then started paying attention to what her friends were up to online and decided she was well out of it. She misses out on some of the gossip but is happy to avoid the bullying and nonsense on Snapchat. BUT… she’s neurodiverse so isn’t bothered by the same things as many of her friends so I can see it would be far harder if she was a child like I was who and desperate to fit in. No idea what it will be like with my son but so far he’s totally unbothered at missing out on the evenings of gaming his friends talk about.

SJM1988 · 04/04/2025 10:00

My DS is younger at 7 but we don't have screen time in the week at all now because it was becoming an issue to turn it off. It started with kick back on turning it off to full blown meltdowns. We've been doing no screen's in the week since Sept and it is alot better. We average 2-3 hours a day at weekend, half of which is usually a family movie or similar time.

Just because all his friends are doing it, doesn't mean you have to let you DS do it. At 9 years, his friendship still should be mainly face to face through school or playing at the park after school, not through a screen.

I have no intention of re-introducing week day screen time for a long time. Probably the end of primary school. It just makes week days miserable.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/04/2025 10:07

Is Roblox the one aimed at kids but is also full of grown noncey men with a chat feature that allows them to talk to the kids? I think there's quite a few games like that.
I don't think there is any child interest that doesn't attract noncey men. Internet safety is important. DS plays on a private server with RL friends.
He is aware of predators online, he'd never share personal information.
Roblux also has tight restrictions mods on what you can chat about, any personal information request is deleted immediately.

LeaderBee · 04/04/2025 10:08

Perhaps Minecraft would be a bit more sedantry and more his pace? he still gets the social aspect of gaming through it but it isn't a highly charged competitive game that's going to get him hyped up during/after playing.

Bigblubird · 04/04/2025 10:09

I think you need to go cold turkey with it - playing Fortnite is damaging your son, he needs to stop. He's addicted, so going from 3 hours a day to 30mins isn't likely to solve the problem.

You need to replace gaming with something else - sport, Scouts etc, and family activities swimming, cinema, park, cooking etc. You could invite his friends along to some activities, so that playing Fortnite isn't the only thing they have in common.

I think you need to be willing to be bad cop here - you're the parent, you can shut this down.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/04/2025 10:14

Has he other interests.
DS has FB training twice a week, match the weekend and lego club.
He won't play games on training days, he doesn't really like football but has met many new friends, he gets him out.
You need a distraction.

Newdress93 · 04/04/2025 10:15

this thread is so judgy! dont worry OP you are not damaging your child. were children never naughty pre - screens? back in the day kids were outdoors playing alot more with friends from age 5 (i have some older family members who were out playing from 3 years old!) , you just can't do that anymore. times change!

FWIW my son is 7, he started playing fortnite a few months ago and plays with a handful of friends/cousins. he understands that if he is naughty/doesn't focus in school then he won't be allowed it. you have to follow through with this so he knows the consequences are real. ie my son has lost fortnite for a couple of times.

its ideal to get a balance of letting them on it but also, the games are designed to be addictive, so the kids NEED limits. i tend to let my son on after school until tea time (6.30) then its family time until bed. so he probably plays around 2 hours a day. he does have other games on the playstation too, and will flick between each games.

re arguments tantrums about coming off, i have always (and same with leaving park etc) done a countdown, ie 20 mins left, 10 mins left etc. sometimes on fortnite the games are long/short so it also is fair to say - make this your last game, instead of saying right get off in the middle of a game, if you see what i mean.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/04/2025 10:20

Talk to him, explain how addictive this fortnite game is, he'll recognise that it has changed him, it is not his fault, it has happened to 1000s of other children, he'll see the game is not all that.
It is designed to escalate moods quickly.

RedToothBrush · 04/04/2025 10:21

WeNeverGoOutOfStyle · 03/04/2025 23:12

Those saying a 9 year old shouldn’t be playing Fortnite are so out of touch.

DS is ten.

He's not allowed Fortnite.

Far too many issues with behaviour.

The end.

I'm not interested in 'being in touch'. I'm interested in parenting and good behaviour.

Scrubbingblinds · 04/04/2025 10:26

I wouldn't allow a 9 year old to play fortnight. My DS is 8, they don't need to be connected to their friends 24/7. We go to the park after school, do clubs, sometimes do play dates. The rest of the time he does homework, plays in the garden, watches age appropriate TV. He has a switch that he will sometimes play FIFA or car racing games on, and a tablet. I really don't believe the majority of his class have access to online gaming.

WhereIsMyJumper · 04/04/2025 10:33

I just cannot imagine why anyone would allow their kids to play anything that is known for being addictive! Get him playing outside FFS

AlmosttimeforChristmas · 04/04/2025 10:36

My 10 year old doesn’t have a games console. It’s completely unnecessary. He also has lots of friends! You will not ruin his friendships if you take it away. That said, if you want himto still feel part of this then maybe once a week just so he doesn’t feel left out. I wouldn’t go more than this

tonyhawks23 · 04/04/2025 10:36

We've always said no Fortnite,it's completely different to Minecraft or other creative games.DS may miss out on playing with friends but they just play other things instead.i would definitely take off Fortnite,friends may follow,there's so much better games to spend time on that don't cause behaviour issues.

Thesonofaphesantplucker · 04/04/2025 10:42

Palmolivesoap · 04/04/2025 09:40

I think it's a little disingenuous to dismiss the ops concerns about completely banning it affecting his friendships by comparing to our own same age children.
My son is basically the same age and has also never played Fortnite but none of his friends do they are all obsessed with football instead. If I was to ban football I can see how it would affect his friendships.

If all his friends are talking about it he'll start to feel left out. Although I'm sure someone will point out "what if they were all talking about heroin" so I'm not sure what my point is, I guess I just think it's disingenuous to dismiss the friendship concerns, what groups of children are interested in can vary from school to school so our own kids are irrelevant

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I see I did miss out an important part which was, all his friends do play it, and do talk about it. But this has led to increasingly difficult behaviour between some of the boys who are playing it, at school. They are picking on, and excluding people who are playing it ‘badly’.

My DS, isn’t being picked on, or isolated at all.

What I’m trying to say is, that far from being excluded for not playing it, my child is NOT being excluded. But children who are, are being isolated for not playing it well (however that is interpreted).

ThriveIn2025 · 04/04/2025 10:44

My DC also don’t have a games console. I’ve told them I’m too lazy to police it 😆 same reasons they don’t have smart phones. Can’t argue with that.

3 hours a day for a 9 yr old is too much on a device, regardless of what they are using it for. Tbh I’d implement a ban over Easter and then never re-allow it.

Scrubbingblinds · 04/04/2025 10:46

Thesonofaphesantplucker · 04/04/2025 10:42

I see I did miss out an important part which was, all his friends do play it, and do talk about it. But this has led to increasingly difficult behaviour between some of the boys who are playing it, at school. They are picking on, and excluding people who are playing it ‘badly’.

My DS, isn’t being picked on, or isolated at all.

What I’m trying to say is, that far from being excluded for not playing it, my child is NOT being excluded. But children who are, are being isolated for not playing it well (however that is interpreted).

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I believe this can be the issue with WhatsApp too. Parents think it is safe as it is just a messaging app. But children create groups and add other children in to bully them. Children aren't mature enough to navigate the internet safely IMO and need the time away from friends to process their school interactions, home should be their safe place and escape from this rather than further peer pressure. Let them be kids!

Hoppinggreen · 04/04/2025 10:49

Its too much at 9
Fortnite can be a good way to connect with friends but I don't think 9 is the age to be using Fortnite to do that
My DS was 11 I think when he started using it but we limited it to weekends and maybe 1 hour during the week, he could be very hyper after playing and it affected his behaviour. He got 1 warning and if the behaviour continued it was a 1 weeks ban.
We also monitored very carefully who he was online with

RedToothBrush · 04/04/2025 11:28

Thesonofaphesantplucker · 04/04/2025 10:42

I see I did miss out an important part which was, all his friends do play it, and do talk about it. But this has led to increasingly difficult behaviour between some of the boys who are playing it, at school. They are picking on, and excluding people who are playing it ‘badly’.

My DS, isn’t being picked on, or isolated at all.

What I’m trying to say is, that far from being excluded for not playing it, my child is NOT being excluded. But children who are, are being isolated for not playing it well (however that is interpreted).

Show quote history

The other thing here that no one has said is that a) these kids are bullying if they pick on the 9 year old. And at 9 there's a certain amount you can do about bullying b) these are kids who are not pleasant and don't have appropriate parental boundaries

So why do you want your 9 year old to be friends with them?!

These are perhaps kids who aren't the best fit as friends. If your son ends up not being mates with them in the long run, it's not necessarily a bad thing.

But doing stuff that's bad for your kid and bad for your family, just so they fit in? Hello? Can you not see the problem, with this?

Scrubbingblinds · 04/04/2025 11:34

That is an important point. These are the DC without boundaries. In a few years, they will be the ones out until midnight causing a nuisance. Then they be allowed to drink at their friends houses as teens etc. At what point do you step in as a parent and say, I don't care what so and sos parent allows, these are the boundaries for us.