To not attend my friend’s baby shower?

[changernam]

A good friend of mine’s baby shower is coming up, I’d accepted the invitation a while ago but she’s just sent the details through with a P.S ‘adults only’. I assumed this to mean toddlers/older children as she’s obviously aware I have a newborn baby. She followed it up with a message to say she’d understand if I couldn’t make it because of the baby.

My DD is 6 weeks old (will be 7 weeks at the time) & exclusively breastfed. The venue is 1.5 hours by train or car. I’d love to go but worried as I’ve not left her for that long

Well the current tediousness of wanting an event a baby could easily be at and is allegedly celebrating a baby but excluding them is the current problem that speaks to a bigger problem of the women's general attitude to friendships.

Totally this - she’ll turn herself inside out cringing at the very thought.

I can understand not wanting older kids there as they can run round and be disruptive but what is a 6 week old baby going to do other than sleep? If they cry you take them out, otherwise they’ll barely be noticeable. I rather think she doesn’t want you there because she wants the focus to be all about her and her baby.

You don’t mention if you actually want to go? If you do then I’m sorry that she seems to be essentially making it almost impossible for you. If you’re not fussed about it I’d take it as being completely let off the hook and feel zero guilt about it.

A gender reveal and a baby shower. How many gifts is this woman after?

So the gender reveal was recent? Now a baby shower. Christ I don’t get all this … mine are early 20s now.

Bizarre thread. People say it’s fine to have child free weddings but this woman is being made out to be the devil incarnate for wanting a child free baby shower!

Maybe she just wants to have a laugh and some games without worrying whether a baby will start crying.

And if she lets you bring your baby, she may have to allow others.

I really doubt she will have deep regret in a few months time. Just let her enjoy her baby shower with her friends in the way she wants.

Don’t go. And remind her of her ridiculous no babies rule when her own is the same age.

Bloody hell the drama!

Don't go.
Don't feel guilty.
Don't 'back away from the friendship' over this.

Letting go of a good friend because she’s having a child-free baby shower which she has already said she understands you not attending is bizarre.

I’d be delighted to have an excuse to not attend a baby shower. Save me having to make up a lie.

But weddings mean something. They’re a celebration of marriage. A baby shower is just a ridiculous American grabby fad.

This. I wouldn’t attend a “gender reveal” if you paid me.