AIBU to find people who don’t read threads before commenting rude?

[Aintnobodygottime]

I don’t understand people who post on the sixth page of a thread and comment purely on the OP. It feels extremely rude. They often ask questions already answered at length, drag the conversation back from where it has naturally gone to, repeat misunderstanding, or just make a contribution that is pointless. Surely if you’re going to invest the time to post at all, you at least read the OP’s posts and the last few comments? Otherwise it comes across as just not caring and not really engaging, not to mention slightly odd to think that no one else might have made your basic point already.

It makes posting on long threads very frustrating to see the same things being said over and over.

that's a relief

It depends on the thread. Obviously no to asking factual questions for the 300th time but if you're being asked an opinion on something then it's sometimes better to reply without being influenced by other comments. It doesn't work if the OP is drip feeding though!

You have every right to give your opinion I don’t understand the point if your opinion isn’t of value and the same as many others so is adding nothing and will just be ignored. You are making it harder for people to spot a potentially good piece of advice as the more pointless posts there are means a lot of people don’t have time to scroll through them and separate worthwhile advice from where someone has commented blindly and just repeated what multiple people have posted.

There are a lot of vulnerable people who post or people who have no one else to talk to except online. There are many threads with people who really benefit from genuine support who might be in an abusive relationship, have suffered bereavement, are struggling with PPD, are seriously depressed and lonely etc.
Some of these people might really benefit from a listening ear or hearing from others in similar situations, the advice they receive might genuinely help them and help them improve their situation.

If you are happy to just add your opinion for the sake of it and skip through words someone has spent time writing to seek help and compassion or feel comfort then that seems a bit selfish, surely it’s better to just comment on a Facebook post or twitter where you can add to thousands of identical posts without interrupting a valuable conversation?

It’s your choice but I really don’t see the point!

Funnily enough @FurFangsPawsAndClaws I tend to read but not post on threads that already have 100 comments for that reason. Chances are that someone has already said what I would have, so there is just no need and it adds to a ‘pile on’. A lot of the time when a thread gets to obscene amount of comments, in the latter pages it’s just a fight between 2-3 posters anyway, which are completely separate to what the OP was about in the first place.

I’ve also seen threads that were created at the weekend and died down come back up because someone decided to reply after a few days and as it’s now back in active, new people pile on with advice to the OP where the whole thread has gone way beyond that by then! Pointless!

OP never wrestle with a pig or a hairy handed one. You both get muddy and the pig enjoys it,

You are not wrong, but some are intentional to get a rise. It entertains them.

I don't know if it's already been said (because I haven't read everything!), but sometimes there is value in sheer volume. Multiple people giving the same response may give it weight. If an OP asks a question, I think it's fair enough to just answer that, regardless of what's happened further down the thread.

We don't all use MN in the same ways or for the same reasons. Exposure to different approaches is part o the experience, and if it gets to be too much, we can always put down the phone and do something else for a while.

I’m not risen in the slightest. I’m really interested in the responses. I hadn’t realised so many people saw MN as a place to just ‘say their piece’. It explains a lot.

I'll admit to not reading the whole thread 😳 but I have wanted to start this conversation, myself so many times . It screams arrogance lack of social skills and critical thinking and you can only imagine how insufferable they will be in real life .
Loud and wrong.
I appreciate that someone on page 3 has made this point so I probably look hypocritical 🫣.

This is why I don't bother opening threads that have more than 100 comments.

the thing is that threads can move very quickly. When I start to reply there might be only a handful of replies but by the time I’ve actually posted there might be a page and a half and the points I’m making may, or may not, have been raised, questions answered. I do generally read all the OP comments but sometimes there is only one OP comment and 6 pages of replies, discussion amongst posters but MY input is in response to the OP and not the side conversations that have developed as a result of the OP

Surely if you’re going to invest the time to post at all, you at least read the OP’s posts and the last few comments?

But it's not the same level of investment. Posting a comment takes 30 seconds, while reading through multiple comments first can take upwards of 30 mins. So YABU for that assumption alone - that's aside from the fact that you personally can't police how people use MN.

This problem is easily solved by people not drip-feeding information. If all the detail is in the OP, there no need for the thread to derail.

It does explain a lot - screaming into the void if you will. I can imagine if you are having a shit time of it , have only had the company of small children in your day-to-day and are just itching for any kind of interaction no matter how argumentative then I get it.
The only time I will repeat the same, is if the OP just isn't getting it and they are overwhelming doubling down. And the yabu is at 99%>

I see lots of complaints of ‘so many pages’ so you can easily change your settings to show fewer pages. Then you click on ‘see all’ by the OP and you’re 90% of the way there.

That just made me spit my tea out you have the same humour as me 🤣🤣

But so often a thread is not just about a straightforward reply to the OP - the first post is just the start of a conversation. Sometimes the thread starter doesn’t realise what additional details are helpful. Sometimes new ideas emerge that they consider. To characterise a thread as simply an answer to a single original post is to miss the point of many of them I feel. The time invested in reading the OP’s posts is surely worth it to save yourself the time spent writing a useless response? I’d think it’s extremely rare that they would have posted enough posts to take 30 minutes to read!

But you wouldn't just read their posts - you'd likely need to read the first few pages of all posts to get a handle on the conversation.

In which case, many if us are happy to take the OP at face value and comment accordingly. You can simply scroll through any posts that annoy you.

I read their posts and the ones on the last page to get a sense of where things are at. Takes me a minute or so. Obviously so do a lot of others, given the replies on here.

Of course I can scroll. But it makes it a less enjoyable experience to be part of a thread, especially when there are repeated posts from people who haven’t even read the OP properly. Or who are asking basic questions that surely they might think have been answered in pages and pages already - why would they get an answer when it’s bound to be on the thread already? That’s when it seems rude - weighing the short time it would take to read the OP’s follow up posts and either not comment or join the discussion meaningfully v expecting other posters to divert an ongoing conversation.

I think you're perhaps thinking a little too deeply about this.

join the discussion meaningfully v expecting other posters to divert an ongoing conversation.

I'd hazard a guess that many posters aren't intending on either. They're not fussed about 'joining a discussion', nor do they 'expect to' divert an ongoing conversation. Sometimes some people just want to offer an opinion.

I’m not thinking too deeply. I’m just saying how I experience this and how posters that do this come across to me.

I’ve used various internet forums for 20-odd years and the vast majority of people using them appear to be doing it to have discussions - to interact with people. Just shooting an opinion out in isolation adds nothing to that, and most people voting on here seem to agree with me.

Ahh, so what you REALLY want is an echo chamber. Got it! 👍

I too have used internet forums for 20+ years. My experience is the opposite. A lot of people just like to give their two penneth and that's it. You think it's 'rude', I disagree. That's OK.

An echo chamber? Not remotely! How do you get to that from what I wrote? A succession of people dropping by to respond to a post made possibly days ago without any understanding of the conversation it’s provoked doesn’t do anything to stimulate diversity of thought. An interactive discussion might though.

Ignore all that 🙄.
There's currently a running thread about a woman who found a flirty text between her husband and her friend. The OP has been providing updates and still posters are telling her to LTB .
She already is/has and even when the divorce has been finalised and she's married to someone else, the page 27 contributers will still be advising her to get her ducks in row .

There are posters who don't bother reading the whole thread, or the OP's posts, or even the OP properly. There are also posters who proudly state that they are 'unable' to read an OP of more than, say, three paragraphs (which must surely mean they've never read a book, or a newspaper, or even a magazine article).

I don't consider them rude, per se. Just undeserving of the time it would take to read their contribution.

I don’t think people need to read other contributions, it’s not a group chat. But yes should read all of OPs posts.

Even more annoying when someone claims to have spat their tea out. Did you though?