Nanny

[SallySooo]

My child age 2 was crying so I came to take over and my nanny wouldn’t let me. I said about 3 or 4 times I will give her a cuddle and she wouldn’t look at me and hugged my child and wouldn’t pass her to me. I ended up leaving the room. Is this normal for a nanny? Is it really necessary to be so territorial. I understand she’s doing her job but surely if someone at my work came over to my desk to talk I would look away from my computer and talk to them or let them speak to the client or whatever they were asking to do

You can tell a lot from your tone and line of reasoning , it is really coming across.

I agree that mums need to comfort our child so I don’t disagree with you on that at all but there’s something very off about the way you speak about being her boss and not vice versa.

Agreed.

You can have a collaborative approach with your nanny, in which case you work together as a team; or you can take the ‘I’m the boss, I say what goes’… I don’t think you can have both. I posted on this thread a few days ago.

Your posts since make me think this isn’t a ‘nanny’ problem, increasingly I think you would be very hard to work for. And I say that as someone with a full time (bloody fabulous) nanny. She’s not Mary Poppins but I hugely trust her, respect her and we each forgive each others human flaws.

Perhaps you should read your own posts before you criticise others.

Perhaps nanny worries that child will cry sometime when you’re not there & she won’t be able to soothe them because they’ll say they want mummy? Then her job gets harder? Perhaps it’s in the nanny training handbook !! I can see why you’re a bit upset though . I don’t think it’s sackable

I wasn’t suggesting your DD minded coming to her mum; I was suggesting that from a bigger picture standpoint it might be better for her to have a stabilised routine where she knows that time with nanny is just that - given that often you won’t be there to intervene.

At our DC’s nursery we were always told it made it harder for children to settle once the parent left if they loitered and blurred the childcare/ parent time boundary. It wasn’t that the child minded the parent being there, but rather that children feel more secure with clarity about these arrangements.

Yes I agree there is something off in the tone in that respect. Right from the start of the thread op has focused on the fact it is MY child, MY feelings, MY employee, MY right to mother her, MY right to dismiss the nanny … There hasn’t been much openness to the idea that this nanny and the child would - and should - have a bond that develops in the time they spend together . Most parents recognise - and, for the child’s sake, want - that to be something solid, not something they see as being able to be swept aside because mum hapoens to be there to trump it, because mum is wanting to dispense with the nanny because she is moving/ nanny has irked employer and all the other lines advanced here. It just all seems a bit blind to others.

@Calliopespathank you. We are not talking about a nursery or school setting though. We are talking about our own home. Are you of the view that when you’re in your pyjamas, it’s early evening, you have a nanny in your house with several children and you shouldn’t go and see your child?

Ouch ;)