Friend has asked to borrow money but I’m not sure

[sunrisesunshine]

Good morning

My close friend has asked to borrow money from me and I’m struggling to make a decision.

The money is for a car repair, roughly 2k. Maybe a bit more. The car has failed the MOT and requires this work before the mechanic can pass it. My friend and her partner both have poor credit scores due to previous debt and they’re unable to use a credit card to cover the cost. They can’t afford to sell the car and buy another one and they also don’t have any savings. I have around 5k.

There’s a few reasons why I don’t think it’s a good idea:

1. I’m single and bought my first house last year. My savings are there to cover any emergencies, if I lose my job or something in the house needs fixing. I don’t have a partner or any family to support me financially if something goes wrong.
2. Her partner received a large pay out from his previous employer last year (around 22k) which they used to live off instead of working. I think it was careless to not save any money.
3. I have no way of enforcing them to pay if they decide not to… right?!

I know it will be an awkward conversation if I say no though. I feel like they’ve put me in a crappy situation.

How would losing their friendship be a bad thing? You need this pair of grifters in your life like a hole in the head! Do not, I repeat do not lend them money. Let them get snotty with you and then stand back rejoice that they are out of your life.

Their financial situation is not your responsibility.

If you could afford to lose the money then I'd say to do it if you felt generous, but it doesn't sound like you can afford it so no. Don't do it!

Could have sorted the car when they had the cash, it's not got this bad that quickly...

I'm hesitating about lending a couple of hundred quid to a friend, as I'm worried about it changing the dynamics and we're not short of cash. In your position, no way...

Apparently they need the car for his new job and to ferry the kids to and from school, activities etc

I mean, sure, life would be easier doing that with a car. But plenty of us have had to cut back and do without things. They need to do this. Where is his new job, in the middle of nowhere where no buses or public transport go? Most kids live close enough to their schools to make walking there possible. He'll have to leave the house earlier, or find someone who drives to his new job that he can pay petrol money to in return for lifts. Funny how it's just easier to ask for cash than do any of this.

Only lend money you can afford to not get back.
This is not the case for you. Even with a contract it would take time and money to enforce this to get your money paid back if they default.
They're the ones making the situation awkward, not you. Remember that if you feel like you might end up losing a friendship by refusing to loan the money.
I would just say that you don't have enough available in savings due to buying the house and leave it at that.

No way.

Obviously say no. They'll have to get public transport, many do this if they can't afford to run a car.

I gave my friend money to get her car fixed in an emergency but I would have refused to lend it; I’d only give it as a gift that I could afford not to get back. Lending money to friends is a really bad idea. If you can’t afford to write off the money then you shouldn’t do it

No, no and no again!

These friends of yours are clearly shite at handling money; bad credit rating, blowing £22k - and now they want to borrow money off you to fix their car? 🙄

No way in hell would I lend them money. If you do, you will never see it again.

You have clearly got your head screwed on where money is concerned. How they get their car fixed, or get their kids to school is not your problem. If they had been more sensible with the £22k, they would have had some of that money to use for car repairs.

Please protect your own future and keep your money firmly in your own account!

Nope. It's really hard sometimes but £5k savings isn't enough for you to risk losing £2k.

No I wouldn't lend it. I'd explain that I couldn't afford to. You'll need that £5,000 at some point. When I bought a house I ended up paying for a new boiler which cost £2,000! Then a window and door for a few thousand! You really do need to keep it for yourself. Do not lend it. You can't make her repay the money either unless you have a written agreement and pay thousands in court. Just say no. What's the worst that will happen? They'll have to walk/catch the bus/get an uber! They'll never be able to repay you.

Not your monkeys, not your circus. If you were wealthy I'd say give them 2 k If you feel like it because you will never see the money again. But you have 5 k in savings so that's a no.

They want to borrow have almost half of your savings.
Realistically, only hand over the money if you can live with not getting it back.
You need to say 'sorry I don't have that kind of money to lend.'

Fuck's sake, NO!

That is almost half your savings. Absolutely don’t do it. I cannot believe they were brazen enough to ask.

Absolutely not. No way I would lend them the money OP, this is your security should you need it.
They have 2 incomes, the fact they have bad credit and blew £22k should be the red flag you need.

It's pretty much a 100% no on here.
Please stop trying to talk yourself into lending the money to them, don't let them guilt you, it's an awful lot of money with absolutely no guarantee of you ever getting it back without a fall out. Let them get buses and they may be more sensible with any future windfalls. People don't learn if there are no consequences and others bail them out.

No! Don't do it! If they have no savings and have 4 children, how will they ever pay you back?!?? If you do it you need to know it's a gift as you will never see a penny back again. They pissed away their money instead of saving it (and with 4 children! didn't care about them or their future or education), you know you will not get a penny back. Say no! And do not be guilted to change your mind.

I think something like £100 is reasonable if it's going to mean putting food on the table til payday.

The fact that they gave up their jobs and spent all of the £22k shows how feckless they are. The fact that they have four children and didn't use that money as an unexpected windfall and save it as a buffer for unexpected expenses, like car repairs etc shows how deeply selfish and irresponsible they are as parents.

Ask yourself Op, what would you have done with that £22k? I'm guessing you would have saved a large chunk or reduced your mortgage, something that would have considerably improved your financial situation, not worsened it.

As you said yourself, there are two of them, so two potential salaries coming in, you only have yourself to rely on, who's going to lend you money, bail you out if you end up in dire straits because you gave away 40% of your small savings pot? That's right, no-one.

They have shown themselves to be bad, bad credit risks, and I'm guessing that, unlike you, they do have family who they could ask for help.

Please don't lend or give them any money and don't ever discuss your finances with them ever again. If they ask just say you have no spare cash and every penny is accounted for or tied up, end of discussion.

You don’t get bad credit just from having had debt, you get bad credit from having debt and managing it poorly, including missing payment. It sounds like you are careful and sensible with your money, don’t let someone else ruin that for you!

There’s no way I’d be lending money to people who had just spaffed 22k on nothing much anyway, but this all just has a million red flags all over it. Don’t do it!

How can anything think £22k is enough money to stop working. Insane.

No no no. You will not get this money back and quite frankly with 5k saving you cannot really afford to give away 2k plus.

They are clearly irresponsible with money. I would not consider loaning the money to them. No way.

They want to borrow 40% of your savings OP.....that is not OK to ask anyone. They also won't pay it back. The conversation will be awkward because they've put you in that position but better that than you having loads of awkward conversations trying to ask for it back every month.