Friend has asked to borrow money but I’m not sure

[sunrisesunshine]

Good morning

My close friend has asked to borrow money from me and I’m struggling to make a decision.

The money is for a car repair, roughly 2k. Maybe a bit more. The car has failed the MOT and requires this work before the mechanic can pass it. My friend and her partner both have poor credit scores due to previous debt and they’re unable to use a credit card to cover the cost. They can’t afford to sell the car and buy another one and they also don’t have any savings. I have around 5k.

There’s a few reasons why I don’t think it’s a good idea:

1. I’m single and bought my first house last year. My savings are there to cover any emergencies, if I lose my job or something in the house needs fixing. I don’t have a partner or any family to support me financially if something goes wrong.
2. Her partner received a large pay out from his previous employer last year (around 22k) which they used to live off instead of working. I think it was careless to not save any money.
3. I have no way of enforcing them to pay if they decide not to… right?!

I know it will be an awkward conversation if I say no though. I feel like they’ve put me in a crappy situation.

OP I've been burned in the past by this, similar amount of money, and would never put myself in that position again.
After six months or so of excuses and delaying...I'd even said they could pay me back in installments...I eventually got £100 back in two installments.
Each time this "friend" acted as if they were doing ME a favour by paying it back.
After the second installment I didn't get a thing, and wrote off both the money and the friendship.
It was a hard lesson, as I needed the money myself.
Don't do it, OP.

There are businesses like banks who lend, or decline to lend, money all the time; literally, it is what they do for a business, So they train people to assess each case, with experience and depth of knowledge, as to whether they can make loans in the expectation of getting their money bank or not, Their decisions are based on facts and experience, without considerations such as friendship.
If these sources of finance, knowledgeable in such matters, are unwilling to lend, why should you take that risk?
This is not a slur on your financial acumen; you did not choose this as a career.
But it would seem that you have been blessed with sound common sense and reasonable caution, as well as a kind heart.
You have managed, as a single person, to acquire your own house, with some savings put aside, and that is no mean feat; well done for that!
As PP's have said, it's a good thing that they don't actually know how much you have in savings, and saying that this is tied up in long-term savings is a good reason, not an excuse.

Apparently they need the car for his new job and to ferry the kids to and from school, activities etc

They should have thought about that when they were spending money that could have been used for an emergency fund.

No no and no.

They’ll never pay it back. They’ve shown they’re very irresponsible with money, they’ll be the same with yours.

Just tell them ‘sorry I can’t afford it’. They don’t need to know how much savings you have or what you want to do with it.

Only "lend" them the money if you actually just resign yourself to giving it to them, and never seeing it again.

And I'd bet that the friendship will change after that - your friend will be more evasive because she'll feel guilty. Although it's unlikely she'll pay back the money.

Like others have said, don’t do it. It’s a recipe for disaster and no guarantee you’ll get it back. Plus they splurged £22k in under a year, with 4 kids in tow and didn’t think to save some for instance like this, or start new jobs before the money ran out.

Don’t let them know how much you have. If they keep pushing just tell them the money is locked in an account you can’t access for a year or something (Atom bank do fixed savings accounts for 6 months to 3 years, so it’s plausible) and it’s earmarked for some repair you need to do for your house, I.e replacing bathroom as there’s leaks, flooring, electrics etc.

really shitty/CF territory of your friend to put you in this situation given she’s been splashing the cash!

It's a very bad idea indeed. Don't even think about it. No.

Point 1 is irrelevant.
Point 2 is irrelevant.
Point 3 is not quite right, you would have the courts.

None of this matters though. Don't lend people money you can't afford and expect to lose. Ever.

If you only have 5K savings, you can't lend anyone 2K of that if getting it paid back is even a consideration.

If you were a multi-millionaire then sure, give them the 2K and you won't even care or notice if they pay you back. But you can't afford to. It's that simple.

No no no no no - their inability to manage money is not your issue.

No excuses, no explanation just say no

Say no. You’ll end up with neither friend nor money.

Nope. You could give them the odd lift if they want.

Definitely no! You didn't ask to borrow from them when they had 22k and you were buy your first house with all the expenses that brings.

Their financial fecklessness is not your problem.

There are credit cards designed to help people with their credit rating, they can get one of those.

Absolutely no. You can’t afford it, they don’t deserve it and it’s a surefire way of wrecking a friendship.

Just say sorry, I can’t afford it, I’ve only got the savings I’m keeping in case of emergency. Don’t enter into any discussion with them about how much you’ve got - it’s none of their business. Their car issues are not your problem. Let them ask family or other people if they really need to borrow.

they are adults, No.

the fact they cant get credit from any normal lender tells you all you need to know about their repayment habits.

just say its tied up in an ISA you cant access or spent on something else, but ultimately NO

BTW, am I the only one on the planet who would be absolutely mortified to ask anyone for money? I think I'd rather die than do that. And I have been very very skint in my younger days but managed to get through it with overtime and a second job.

My parents always told us to have a slush fund for emergencies, and honestly from the day I was reasonably solvent again after getting my first job post graduation, I have always done that. Not polishing my own halo or anything, but it's bloody common sense really!

No, no and no. Don't do it OP.

It might be awkward to say no but it'll be even more awkward when you're trying to get the money back from them.

It's not your problem. They'll have to get the bus for a while.

Absolutely not. They're clearly bad with money abd you're unlikely to ever see it again. Do not feel bad for saying no.

You surely are joking. They are absolute piss takers. They got themselves into debt and you will never get that money back.
Just say no. I would never even dream of asking anyone for money to get my car fixed.
They aren't friends.

No. They sound awful with money. You'll never get it back

Jesus no! You’ve only got 5k in savings.

If your boiler breaks tomorrow and the clutch on your car goes. You’ll need to borrow the money.

Say ‘sorry, I’ve got nowhere near 2k in savings Jenny, but let me know and I might be able to help out with lifts’.

What a nerve… No way should you pay for their car repairs.

The OP would be nuts to offer lifts either. She'd end up being their personal chauffeur.

Don't do it, OP. These people are absolutely feckless. They could have bought a new car with the £22K and given they have four kids, it would have been a real investment.

Nope.
If you lend it you would be the last person they will pay back.
Might start off with a few payments then " oh the kids need uniforms,or it's Christmas or the car needs more work, can we miss this months"
Then she will avoid you, leaving you in the awkward position of chasing for it.
You might get a small portion back initially, then you will have to spend more to take them to small claims to try and get it back.

Seen the above scenario play out multiple times.
Especially involving people with poor financial management already.

Nope.
How are they going to pay you back?
They cant.

Tell them you can't afford it. End off. They have a cheek