Friend has asked to borrow money but I’m not sure

[sunrisesunshine]

Good morning

My close friend has asked to borrow money from me and I’m struggling to make a decision.

The money is for a car repair, roughly 2k. Maybe a bit more. The car has failed the MOT and requires this work before the mechanic can pass it. My friend and her partner both have poor credit scores due to previous debt and they’re unable to use a credit card to cover the cost. They can’t afford to sell the car and buy another one and they also don’t have any savings. I have around 5k.

There’s a few reasons why I don’t think it’s a good idea:

1. I’m single and bought my first house last year. My savings are there to cover any emergencies, if I lose my job or something in the house needs fixing. I don’t have a partner or any family to support me financially if something goes wrong.
2. Her partner received a large pay out from his previous employer last year (around 22k) which they used to live off instead of working. I think it was careless to not save any money.
3. I have no way of enforcing them to pay if they decide not to… right?!

I know it will be an awkward conversation if I say no though. I feel like they’ve put me in a crappy situation.

Never a borrower nor a lender be

Not unless you can afford to lose it

Nope please don’t do it have one awkward conversation now and say no rather than many awkward conversations and sleepless nights in a few months time when they haven’t paid you back.

Don’t lend what you can’t afford to lose. That’s my benchmark. If I agree to lend something I work on the premise that I may never have it returned … if you’re not okay with that then it’s a no.

They quit their jobs while having FOUR children to raise and frittered away the £22k, not spending any of those funds on their poorly-maintained car? That is wildly irresponsible & you will never see that money again if you lend to them. They make very poor decisions.

NEVER tell friends about your savings - did you tell her you have 5k saved?

Either way politely say no

Can you afford, without regrets, to lose the money. Are you able to write it off, without a second thought, at the point of lending? If not, don't do it.

No. They already have a debt record. Why add you to it?

Definitely don’t! Maybe even tell a white lie if you can and say it’s in an ISA you can’t touch or something. If you lose your friend because of this, they were never a good friend to be begin with!

You already know the answer and reason, because you would not have posted otherwise.

Do not lend anyone any money, no matter who they are, and especially not such a large sum.

Ask yourself : 'HOW MANY HOURS DID I WORK FOR THIS £2k?' That should determine the matter, whoever worked and slaved for it.

If you are easy to soften, say you will go together to a solicitor, at their expense, and work out a repayment plan to include interest at the usual loan company rate. Even so, I would advise against it.

Never lend to anyone. If someone asks for a small sum of money, say you will give it to them, no need to repay it, but never ask me again.

It is the only way to stay out of trouble.

No no no! The only way I would ever do something like that is if someone literally had a fun to their head/kidnapped/some other life or death situation!

Moreover, I would never, ever, ask this of a friend. Even if I was on the bones of my arse. It's a really mean thing to put on someone. Just say no.

They see you as childless and better off than them and perhaps a soft touch. I’d just say no.

NOOOOOO!!!!

So they essentially pissed £22k up the wall and are now asking you to pay for thier car repair? Hard no from me. No guilt whatsoever. If they'd struggled and scrimped to keep a roof over their kids heads with that £22k maybe, holidays they couldn't afford while not even thinking about what they would do to cover an emergency that lets face it we all have to factor, no way. All they had to do was keep a couple of grand back for an emergency fund. They chose not to and the first thing they think of is good old sunrisesunshine has money, let's ask her.

An old saying but it's very true "If you want to Keep a friend, never borrow, never lend"
Don't lend any money you cant afford to loose.
How do they know you have savings?
They obviously don't plan ahead, spend 22k on what? Didn't even save 5k for emergencies. Bad credit? No, sorry tell them to get an extra job each and pay their own way.

A good friend once asked to borrow a largeish sum of money from me. I refused and told my friend that I had a policy of never lending money to friends, because from past experience, it can risk a good friendship. That is how you should respond. Hang on to your hard earned cash.

Don’t.

If the car needs £2K repair. It is dead and they might benefit buying another one. If they can’t afford it then they need to look into renting one when necessary which should be affordable for them.

"I'm sorry, I can't afford it"

Never lend an amount you can't afford to lose

Nope. No. Absolutely not.

If they can't afford to fix the car, or get one on HP or payment plan they can get the bus

There are a number of reasons why you should say 'no' to helping them.

1. They both have poor credit scores because they haven't pay their creditors back under the agreed terms. If you lend them money this will include you.
2. They had a windfall of £22k last year. Any responsible person would have put money into savings not fritter it all away in less than a year.
3. £2k on a car repair is an insane amount of money to spend. This tells me it's either a rubbish car or a very old one. Why didn't they replace the car last year when they had the money to do so?
4. You have been financially responsible and made provision for worst case scenarios. It's not your responsibility to bail them out because they've failed to do the same.

Tell them to look for a garage that has a payment plan, i know they exist.

You will never get it back. They will constantly want to borrow money off you if you agree to this £2k

Listen to your gut. Don't.

So they blew through 22k without a thought and they now want you to give them money. It's obvious that they have no regard or respect for money in any context. So why should they even be asking you in the first place let alone bothering to pay you back which you would probably have to fight for.