Friend has asked to borrow money but I’m not sure

[sunrisesunshine]

Good morning

My close friend has asked to borrow money from me and I’m struggling to make a decision.

The money is for a car repair, roughly 2k. Maybe a bit more. The car has failed the MOT and requires this work before the mechanic can pass it. My friend and her partner both have poor credit scores due to previous debt and they’re unable to use a credit card to cover the cost. They can’t afford to sell the car and buy another one and they also don’t have any savings. I have around 5k.

There’s a few reasons why I don’t think it’s a good idea:

1. I’m single and bought my first house last year. My savings are there to cover any emergencies, if I lose my job or something in the house needs fixing. I don’t have a partner or any family to support me financially if something goes wrong.
2. Her partner received a large pay out from his previous employer last year (around 22k) which they used to live off instead of working. I think it was careless to not save any money.
3. I have no way of enforcing them to pay if they decide not to… right?!

I know it will be an awkward conversation if I say no though. I feel like they’ve put me in a crappy situation.

Don't do it. They sound completely irresponsible and you may never see the cash again

None of this is relevant. Lending them the money is a crazy idea. I'm sure they have family members and other friends that they can ask. Sounds like they pegged you as the soft touch!

You'd have to be a complete idiot to give them any money. It's not like you're loaded and can afford to just give away money willy nilly. They're asking for 40% of your savings, with absolutely no likelihood of giving it back. And you're inclined to say Yes just because you don't want an awkward conversation?

Come on OP, you know what you need to do.

Just say you don’t have enough in savings and you can’t help, don’t let them guilt trip you they shouldn’t have asked in the first place and next time don’t tell them you have anything

Sorry no I can't cover it - you need to ask your families!

Even if you got a loan agreement written up and signed by both parties, how will you get more than £2 a week back for the next x many years? They sound like the sort to turn round and say they won't be paying you back because they can't afford to and you clearly could afford to give them the money. What you have in savings is a very small emergency fund for YOUR emergencies. It is not a pot of fun money which you are undecided as to how to spend or can afford to lose. Your friends are feckless with money. The answer must be no.

"Sorry friend, but no, I still haven't got any spare cash from moving last year, all my savings were completely wiped out and living costs are going up so I'm not saving any money."

This will stop them asking again. Definitely do not lend them money.

And never speak about money with them again.

It would be a no from me, OP. It would leave you with about 3k in your savings and if something as simple as your boiler broke, it would mean you would not have enough to replace it!

Just in case you need another voice to add to the pile …. no bloody way, for all the reasons everyone else has said.

They might think you have a lot more than £5k. That’s not enough to be lending people! Say no.

Don’t tell anyone you have savings. I don’t know if any of my friends have and I don't tell them my finances either.

He got 22k in redundancy pay so she quit her job? Are they stupid? That is not a large sum of money, they have 4 kids but she quit her job and they spent all of it so they don’t even have £2k left? Wow. Now he is finally going back to work and she has gone back, and they’ve nothing left.

That tells you everything you need to know about them. Do not give them the money.

No unless you can afford not to get it back.

Say they've misunderstood and you don't have savings.
Say you made a mistake and you don't have money available.
Say you don't want to jeopardise your friendship by bringing money into it.
Say it's against your religion/ethics to borrow or lend money.
Say no.

Nothing good can come from this. You'd have to assume that they've already burnt bridges with family over this kind of thing to be asking friends. Just advise them that they've drastically overestimated the amount of savings you have so you're sorry that you can't help them.

Nope, don't lend that kind of money to friends. You will never see it again. (I learned this the hard way in my 20s)

Just based in what you've said, it'd be a no. You don't give up work for 22k. Thats totally irresponsible. For a family with several kids, even if younl were frugel, that wouldn't even last a year.

I would say ‘sorry, I never lend money to friends as a matter of principle. I value our friendship and wouldn’t want to jeopardise it. I hope you find another solution!’

No and she's wrong to have asked you. I have been in debt before and would never have asked a friend to lend me money.

Absolutely no!! I'm in a financial mess atm and I've had two friends very generously offer to lend me cash, but their friendship is worth more than money. I won't jeopardise that.

HRTFT

They've spunked 22k up the wall - surely they KNEW they'd need a running vehicle for everyday use.

They should've kept some back for their 'just in case' fund

Fuck that OP. Don't do it.

Just no.

You already know they're shit with money so there's no way you'd get your money back. Tell them to use some of the 22k they got last year...

Im generously minded, but it’d be a straight no from me. That’s 40% of your total savings. Not a chance.

The fact they have poor credit records tells you everything you need to know. They are cheeky asking you and they could go to their own families.

They have 4 children and they blew all that money? That is ridiculously irresponsible.