Friend has asked to borrow money but I’m not sure

[sunrisesunshine]

Good morning

My close friend has asked to borrow money from me and I’m struggling to make a decision.

The money is for a car repair, roughly 2k. Maybe a bit more. The car has failed the MOT and requires this work before the mechanic can pass it. My friend and her partner both have poor credit scores due to previous debt and they’re unable to use a credit card to cover the cost. They can’t afford to sell the car and buy another one and they also don’t have any savings. I have around 5k.

There’s a few reasons why I don’t think it’s a good idea:

1. I’m single and bought my first house last year. My savings are there to cover any emergencies, if I lose my job or something in the house needs fixing. I don’t have a partner or any family to support me financially if something goes wrong.
2. Her partner received a large pay out from his previous employer last year (around 22k) which they used to live off instead of working. I think it was careless to not save any money.
3. I have no way of enforcing them to pay if they decide not to… right?!

I know it will be an awkward conversation if I say no though. I feel like they’ve put me in a crappy situation.

They're shit with money. Their credit scores are rubbish because official lenders don't trust them - and they would be protected with steps they could take if they didn't pay. It would be much more difficult for you. Don't do it! They need to ask family members, sell something, ANYTHING other than get it off friends.

I wouldn't bother with the I don't lend money, just say "I don't have it to lend, you need to find another solution guys". And don't say sorry, you are not sorry.

Nope. They've shown many times over that they're not the most responsible people and aren't good with money. Make an excuse or just say you can't afford it, but whatever you do, don't loan them money. If they can't accept that, it's not much of a friendship anyway. Imagine what the strain will be like if they're slow to pay you back!

No No No
youll lose the money and the friend

OP, do not jeopardise your own financial security. I bought my first home last year (single buyer). I was made redundant a few months later out of the blue. You can't afford to lend a huge chunk of your emergency fund.

The bottom line is, can you afford to write off £2000?

If yes, lend away. If not, don't lend. They have spunked £22000 with no thought for the future or crises.

Your savings are your business op, and are your ONLY funds for your new house, any emergencies etc.

Tell them you've not got it, or it's tied up.

100% No.
No, no, no.

If they kick back, they're not your friends. They're just users.

Send them in the direction of a Credit Union. Plenty on Google. A CU will listen to them and work out a plan at what should be an affordable and achievable repayment method.

They sound risky and not people with much common sense or morals....to be honest the fact that someone has asked a friend for 2k in itself is unbelievably cheeky....you're not her parent! No no and no again.Keep your hard earned money safe for YOU to use.
Her reaction will be telling when you say no I feel 🙄

The fact they can't get credit anywhere else is a red flag...

And the fact they spaffed 22k against the wall on fun is also a red flag.

I wouldn't lend them anything
Bad with such a small nest egg you can't afford to lose any money.

A colleague was scammed in just this way to a 'good' pal of 20 years.
Lent over half her savings to this friend (who ended up being a lodger living rent free at her place ), he never paid her back... There was always an excuse. It was for an essential motorbike... Guess what... He had bad credit too... 🙄

After about a year she was tired if the excuses and he was always going to start repaying tomorrow...

He left town and cut off contact.... She couldn't find him to serve papers.

She had to delay much needed house repairs as he'd taken all these savings.

Only do it if you prepared to lose 2000, as that's very likely. Or better yet, just don't do it.

I lost a 'friend' over money. Wasn't a large amount, about 300. The funniest thing of it all was that they were a good, long-standing friend and I haven't even mentioned the money/paying me back to them (not much time passed at that point). They themselves started to sort of rant at me, how I have it 'easy', how money just 'come to me' (no, no it doesn't), how they are hard done by, etc. Utterly pissed off, I asked is it about the 300 (obviously) and is it them not wanting to pay it back to me? 'No, I don't want to, why do you need it, you have more money than you need (not true) and I don't, so I don't see why I should pay you back' - I was told. And that was the end of the friendship for me, obviously.

2000 is a fair chunk of money and I'd lend it only to selective family members, as I know from experience they are 100% reliable and will pay it back. Definitely not to friends, good ones or not.

You're unlikely to get the money back, OP. Several years ago I was in a similar situation with a close friend who urgently need the same amount to pay a bill. I did "lend" it to them and guess what, it's never been repaid. Luckily, I haven't desperately needed it back (yet), but I know that it was be pointless asking them anyway, because they can't afford to repay me. I realize now that they're not very good with money so they're constantly skint. From what you've said about your friend and her partner spending his payout, they sound similar.

They can use the bus like others would.

No!!! They aren't responsible with their own money, they certainly won't be with yours.

I have leant money to friends and have always got it back - however, I have never leant money that I if the worse came to the worst and that they did not pay it back I couldn't manage short or long term without. If you lend it her - could you afford to write it off or spend time and money chasing it up through the courts?

My answer would be no - they should have kept some of the 22k for events such as this - they didn't - not your problem to resolve for them.

There are cheaper runarounds than a 2k repair for a car and /or public transport until they save up.
Also don't tell them you have savings in the future.

I would just say no - that is my cushion for emergencies and I need it in my account.

My dad always said "only lend what you can afford to lose". So in your case the answer is no because you can't afford to lose £2k

Their transport problem is theirs not yours to solve
Do Not Lend a Penny

NO! Do not give them the money, you’ll never see it again. Just say you don’t have any spare cash to lend them. Friends wouldn’t put you in this awful position.

Keep it brief and avoid detail, you don't need to explain why not, they'll presumably be expecting you to say no, because everyone else probably has. Don't apologise either. Do not tell them what you have.
'No, I can't loan you any money, hope you find a way forward.' If pressured, 'I know how tough it is when a big expense comes in, my finances are all planned and allocated too.'

You said it yourself, they have poor credit, probably from not paying debts.
Plus her partner wasted £22k.

If you lend them this £2k, you will not see it again.

Apparently they need the car for his new job and to ferry the kids to and from school, activities etc

That's their problem. Don't lend them money.

Don't lend it if you're not happy to lose it.

I lent similar amounts to my sibling. I could afford it and knew he wouldn't pay me back (he didn't). It didn't cause hard feelings because I knew he wouldn't when I lent (gave) it.
(I didn't tell him it was a gift because I wanted him to be a little bit responsible about it and not just think money grows on trees !)

But it was family and it wasn't half of my savings !

Don't do it OP.

Nope from me.

Just want to quote this for extra emphasis!

‘As not to quote and run I’ll also add.

Isn’t it funny how people wind themselves up in knots and do what they know is a foolish thing (lending money) just to avoid an awkward or uncomfortable momentary feeling.

@sunrisesunshine it will be a lot more awkward and uncomfortable for you when you have to chase them down for your money that they will not pay back!

If I’m allowed to be blunt… lending the money will end the friendship… not lending the money might not end it (they’ll figure it out). You might as well not set fire to your 2K and have the chance for a friendship 🤷‍♀️

Another thread was made today where someone couldn’t even pay money back they borrowed for an hour. Trust nobody.