Called the police

[Highfivemum]

Had a person contact me previously stating that we shared the same parent. It could be true as had a very difficult and complicated childhood and one which I don’t want to remember. My DB and I chose to ignore it. Two days ago had a visit from a person stating they were related. I shut the door in their face. It was a huge shock and triggered every bad memory though I understand I should have acted better. Yesterday the door went again and it was a different person who also stated they were family and could they talk. I again shut the door. DH was going to stay at home today but had a meeting he had to go to and as soon as DH left for work the door goes again and it is both of them. I shut the door again and I called the police. I know it is not a police issue but I literally am sitting here shaking. DH is on his way home and DB can’t be contacted as away on business. I feel crazy for calling the police and no idea what they will say to me but I was so worried and panicked. Anyone know what can be done. ? I don’t want to know these people
and have no idea how they have traced me and found out my address. It is a mess and I feel ill with worry.

No! She should not have to do that, @FairlyTired , stop guilting and enabling the bullying of this woman. These people are clearly dangerous. They are stalking her and refusing to leave her property. Trespassing, stalking, casing the house, banging doors and not leaving, she needs to stay inside and no go out at all.

they obviously think what they have got to say is extremely important

They obviously have her address so they can put it in a letter and send it to her using registered post, so they know she has received it. Going back day after day and just standing there is batshit behaviour on their part.

Very few of the things you’ve listed here have actually happened. From the banging on doors, up to and including her telling them to go away.

No it doesn't matter. I only wonder because a friend of mine was in a similar situation and it eventually transpired they'd contacted her because a family member of hers had seriously sexually abused them in childhood, and they'd seen my friend and her young daughter with this man. They were persistent because they were trying to protect the child. They wrote to her in the end which is probably the best course of action with things like this anyway. She was then able to confirm via Sarah's law

This is literally what the OP has written:

DH is now here and has spoken to them outside. They are refusing to leave as they want to speak to me about something. I have no idea what that is. He has told them to go or the police will be called

DH went out again to speak with them but they are still refusing to leave.

They have been directly told to “go” by her husband.

It doesn’t take a genius to assume they are mostly likely the same people, or one of the people who wrote the email.

Also doesn’t take a genius to assume that having a door closed in your face MULTIPLE TIMES is a clear indication that she has no interest in conversing with these people.

It’s a fucking scary world when people literally can’t take “no” for an answer.

If it was so important why don't they write a note and pop it through the letterbox?

I agree that hanging around like that is extremely odd and unnerving.

The OP doesn’t appear to be at any risk of ‘forever wondering’. She doesn’t want to know, which is fair enough. It’s just everyone on here who is wondering!

Give what crap? It's basically a commentary on what has happened, they've turned up multiple times, OP is completely ignoring them as if they don't exist, DH has asked them to leave, so why haven't they?

They are obviously under the misguided impression that if they stay, something different will happen.

I'm not saying OP is in the wrong, of course she isn't, I'm not saying they are in the right, of course they aren't.

But they are there, and OP hasn't made her wishes clear, her DH doesn't seem to be doing an effective job of fucking them off, and the police don't seem interested.. maybe they will eventually give up and go away, but then they are likely to come back if they think they will get a response next time..

Lack of response is not a response.

That doesn't say they have been directly told to go by her husband. As I say it's a fair assumption, but it's not stated.

And yes, it's a fair assumption it's the people who wrote the email, but they may nnot be. But it is an assumption. The "most likely" explanation is not true a sizable minority of the time.

Having a door closed in your face can mean that the person slamming the door thinks you are someone you are not, on business other than what you are there for.

I'd want to make sure of all these things in a quick 30 second conversation before simply refusing communication so then there would be no doubt on either side.

As I say now the husband is there, it's moot, they could just tell him and if they won't, that's on them.

It is now, yes, now that the husband has returned and given them a channel of communication.

Absolutely! WE want to know what they want, even if OP doesn't!

The OP believes she knows what they want, so she won't be wondering. She's sure it's that they just want to talk to her about her family and she doesn't want to do that.

Can you not read??? The bold bit says that the DH told them to go. If you can't comprehend that as being 'directly told to go by the husband' it's no wonder you're being so dense about the rest of it.

Going back day after day and just standing there is batshit behaviour on their part.

It absolutely is, no disagreement from me at all.

If they are the ones that wrote the email, it has been ignored, OP mentions in previous threads about letters they have received that have gone ignored (not sure who from though), all methods of contact with her family are ignored because she is NC with them all.

So if they really feel strongly enough that they need to speak to her, turning up on the door is the only way to do it.. it doesn't explain why they can't talk to the husband though, that part does not stack up AT ALL. But if I was the husband I'd demand to know what they are doing there and what they want... it seems as if he has just told them to go away and threatened the police (who may or may not turn up).

Slamming the door in someone's face, 4 times, literally is a response.

And that's not even considering her husband asked them to leave.

It's worrying that they know where she lives. Would they have got the address from the electoral register?

We have opted to not have our names on it.

I don’t. When I said ‘everyone on here’ I was excluding myself. This is someone’s real life, not a soap opera.

There are websites where - for a small fee - they'll look up the name and address of people on the electoral roll and will also give you the names of anyone (over 18) who lives at the same address.

Are you being deliberately obtuse here?

The OP states her husband has told them “to go”. But you don’t believe it?

You think the husband telling them to go may not have happened so these poor desperate people are hanging around outside someone’s home until they are directly verbally told “Please go away” by the OP.

Having a door closed in your face can mean that the person slamming the door thinks you are someone you are not, on business other than what you are there for.

Honestly 😂😂😂

Would you really turn up uninvited and unannounced to a strangers home, knock on their door and proceed to refuse to leave AFTER having the door shut multiple times because “oooh they might think we’re salespeople. We better carry on knocking until we’ve explained ourselves”.

UN FUCKING HINGED.

Yes I can read.

It says he has spoken with them. And they are refusing to leave.

Nowhere there does it say he told them to go. You are assuming that. Once again, not an unfair assumption, but not a fact.

It's possible he's gone out and said "what's this about" and they've said "We'd like to talk to your wife, sorry". We don't know her husband. He might just come back inside on hearing this.

Actually, sorry, I missed the "told them to go" part.

Sigh - read it again.

He has told them to go or the police will be called

You're really coming across very poorly.

I came on to say this - if you feel panicked etc I understand the reaction and wanting to just shut the door, but this has the advantage of being in writing, so unambiguous, and you can prepare and write it carefully (typed/ printed is even better)

Op has other threads where she says she has received letters in the post, separate to the email incident, she was in regular contact with some members of her family in 2019 who she then subsequently went NC with, so her family will know where she lives and how to contact her.

I missed the "told them to go" part, so fair enough, but I have said that since the husband turned up, the game changed.

But yes, if I was turning up to tell someone something, knowing they knew nothing about me or why I was coming, and they kept slamming the door in my face inexplicably, I might try again, because yes, I'd imagine they thought I was someone else.