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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nanny leaving

298 replies

Countessofgranthamm · 01/04/2025 22:46

Nanny leaving who has been with us 3 and a half years. Is it unreasonable to just give gift and a card or is it customary to give money too? We are moving overseas for DP work so I suppose we are technically the ones leaving! She is the first nanny we have had to unsure of the customs?

OP posts:
beetr00 · 02/04/2025 01:08

@H112 "Op you sound like you have money" but she has short arms and deep pockets!

aster10 · 02/04/2025 03:24

UniqueRedSquid · 01/04/2025 23:38

Hi, I work in compliance for HMRC.

If the Nanny is providing you with a personal service (ie, they don’t have the freedom to send you a replacement person to do the work), you have control and direct them, they have limited financial risk (you cannot use a contractual clause to force them to correct errors in the work in their own time) and they only provide the service to you then you have yourself an employee.

They may still be an employee even if they work for multiple families. You can have several jobs.

If you have an employee then you should be deducting income tax and NICs at source. They’re entitled to minimum wage, holiday pay, redundancy etc.

The onus was on you to check prior to engaging and paying them.

Even if the Nanny wants to be treated as self employed and paid gross then that is not in the gift of either of you to decide.

I would get some advice starting with the CEST tool.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/check-employment-status-for-tax

HMRC can definitely look at this retrospectively, raise assessments and look at penalty behaviours.

Hi, wouldn’t this then class as employees every babysitter you get?

MadinMarch · 02/04/2025 05:22

FanofLeaves · 01/04/2025 23:29

She’s not a childminder either, they don’t operate in the family home, they only operate from their own premises.

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That's not correct. A childminder can work from the home of the child they care for. However, to be a childminder, they'd need to be registered with Ofsted, which presumably isn't the case here.

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 02/04/2025 05:31

MadinMarch · 02/04/2025 05:22

That's not correct. A childminder can work from the home of the child they care for. However, to be a childminder, they'd need to be registered with Ofsted, which presumably isn't the case here.

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You're missing the point. If a childminder is working in the child's home, she or he will be working under the direction of the parent and will be employee.

Swiftie1878 · 02/04/2025 05:35

Countessofgranthamm · 01/04/2025 22:46

Nanny leaving who has been with us 3 and a half years. Is it unreasonable to just give gift and a card or is it customary to give money too? We are moving overseas for DP work so I suppose we are technically the ones leaving! She is the first nanny we have had to unsure of the customs?

Make sure the kids do something for her too, like make a card, do a video message, something.

MadinMarch · 02/04/2025 05:38

I didn't miss the point, I was merely pointing out to a pp who said a childminder only works in their own home.
You are also incorrect. An Osted registered childminder is not an employee, they are self employed.

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 02/04/2025 05:41

aster10 · 02/04/2025 03:24

Hi, wouldn’t this then class as employees every babysitter you get?

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No- unless you had a very regular arrangement that say every Saturday the babysitter sat for you, wasn't allowed to say no and wasn't allowed to work for anyone else. But even then if it were a baby sitting agency it could well just be that you're booking services well in advance of when needed.

ItsAWonderfulDayForPie · 02/04/2025 06:03

This is why although I’m qualified to be a nanny I never ended up going down that route. It amazes me that people want to pay less than minimum wage, treat you like an untrained babysitter or work you like a dog when you’re looking after their prized possessions.

TheMissMarple · 02/04/2025 06:12

If you transfer and she pays her tax, how do you pay your employers tax and ni? Thats not optional so if you aren’t doing that then you should be. And yes after 3.5 yrs you should be paying redundancy!!

malovitt · 02/04/2025 06:12

An Ofsted registered childminder can only work as a childminder from their own home which has been registered and inspected by Ofsted.
If childminders work occasionally in the evening in the child's home, they are classed as babysitters. Ofsted registered childminders do not work in the child's home during the day. If they do, they are not childminders but classed as a nanny and must be employed.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 02/04/2025 06:40

Itisjustmyopinion · 01/04/2025 23:01

Your thread title is misleading (on purpose?)

You are effectively making her redundant so you need to ensure she gets sufficient notice and is not financially impacted

This!!!

Pipsquiggle · 02/04/2025 06:43

We paid redundancy and got her flowers, wine and chocolate

RoseMarigoldViolet · 02/04/2025 06:44

A month’s pay plus a gift.

Spirallingdownwards · 02/04/2025 06:47

Crazybaby123 · 02/04/2025 00:12

I disagree with giving her redundancy money as OP bas said she is self employed. Thats the contract she worked under and is happy with (assuming she has been thus far).
Contractors know contracts don't last forever.

You could give her something useful like a gift card.
Although I once got a tiffany pen as a work leaving present and I still love it 20 years later.

Unfortunately like you it seems the nanny isn't aware of the rules regarding employee vs contractor when it comes to nannies. She is an employee and the OP is stitching her up. I hope the nanny gets some legal advice and gets her tax back paid, NI and the redundancy money she will be owed.

TheGaaTheSkaAndTheRa · 02/04/2025 06:49

murasaki · 01/04/2025 23:37

Yep, you didn't do an IR35 check on this re self employment, did you.....

Yep the IR35 needs to be covered. You can't cash in hand any more.

I stopped locum work because of IR35.

It's not sounding too legit.

NetZeroZealot · 02/04/2025 06:50

She’s been part of your family for over 3 years. You give her a bloody nice gift and some money too.
When my nanny left ( of her own accord) we got her Tiffany jewellery and a lovely travel spa set. And a handwritten card saying how much we appreciated her.
We are still in contact 20 years later.

redphonecase · 02/04/2025 06:53

Waiting for the 'deletion for privacy message as @Countessofgranthamm won't want to address that she should have been paying the tax all these years....

PinkyFlamingo · 02/04/2025 07:09

I'm curious about your thread title because it's not true!

Whysitsohard91 · 02/04/2025 07:10

an employment tribunal and HMRC would decide she’s an employee. You have a tax problem and should also pay her reasonable notice and a sum equivalent to statutory redundancy

Dragonsandcats · 02/04/2025 07:13

Don’t think OP will be back

Pricelessadvice · 02/04/2025 07:16

I know an employer who persuades all their (young) workers to go self-employed, but dictates their working days and hours and then sacks them at the drop of a hat when no longer needed. HMRC have been made aware, several times, but nothing seems to happen.
They also didn’t pay pension contributions, or NI for the few older staff they had on their books, though this was reported and was being dealt with.

There’s a shocking number of people out there screwing the system.

Wigglytails · 02/04/2025 07:20

Maybe just maybe……

The “nanny” in this post is one of the hundreds if not thousands of women from south east Asia working illegally in the U.K. as a nanny for cash / bank transfer in London - but ofcourse this employer could have “no clue because she filled in a fake HMRC return and has a sticker in her passport saying she had a right to work” - also fake and normally supplied by the organisations set up to help illegals.

how women allow persons like this into their home to look after children for the only benefit of being cheaper than a fully paid and legal nanny is baffling to me.

explains why she hasn’t been paying the normal NI / pension etc.

SamPoodle123 · 02/04/2025 07:25

How much notice did you give her? The kind thing would be to give her a good amount of notice and some money along with the goodbye card.

partygate · 02/04/2025 07:26

Your nanny is employed. The law is very clear on this. You should be paying her sick pay, pension, holiday and now redundancy pay.

it’s dreadful the way some parents treat nannies. If you’ve been treated her as self employed you’ve been short changing her. You are liable for a fine.

MellowCritic · 02/04/2025 07:34

AirFryerCrumpet · 01/04/2025 23:17

Is she genuinely self employed eg she sets her hours and rates, provides her own equipment, has multiple clients.
Or do you employ her by giving her set days and hours, directing her on how she completes her work?

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Oh dear lord.. seriously get a life!!