To think this packed lunch is fine?

[Lunchwoes]

So about a month ago DSD switched from hot lunches to packed lunch. She goes to school from our house Monday and Tuesday so I pack her lunch.

Today her Mum has text DH and said she's always starving when she gets in Mon and Tuesday so she needs bigger lunches. He said no problem we will make them a bit bigger or pack an extra snack for later as she has netball on a Tuesday after school.

Now this is the crazy bit, she said she just buys her Tesco meal deals as they fill her up and asked that we do the same!

For info she had a cheese and tomato omelette with a slice of toast for breakfast. Her packed lunch was a roast chicken and salad wrap, apple slices and peanut butter, a Greek yogurt and some celery sticks with hummus.

I will obviously very happily pack extra if she's hungry but a tesco meal deal?!

If she's only 'starving' on Tuesday evenings, and not on Mondays, I'd just reply "She's fine on Monday evenings, netball on Tuesdays is just giving her a bigger appetite so you can give her a bigger dinner to make up for it."

End of, she doesn't need a huge lunch right before playing sport. My youngest is always ravenous after playing sport, so she gets a good feed afterwards.

You sound like a lovely stepmum who puts alot of effort into making healthy meals for DSD. I do wonder if there's an element of jealousy on her mums part.

The cost of a tesco meal deal alone makes this a silly idea, never mind the fact it's not great for everyday.

I can't see the mum being happy with the step mum refusing to provide more of a filling packed lunch if they've asked for it.

Maybe it’s just when you have a child with an allergy and I’ve been unlucky that there’s been a child at every school my kids have been to with one? I just assumed there was a specific guidance being followed.

My DD (13) would be hungry on that. She has a big hot meal plus pudding at lunch (in school) then comes home usually has a small snack (maybe toast or something) then a full meal in the evening and possibly some cereal or crackers / fruit afterwards. She’s still like a rake. They are growing and doing sport and need more than a small wrap and some fruit. More protein and more carbs probably needed here. Agree a meal deal isn’t ideal though! Maybe occasionally that’s fine. My younger DD has one once a week having sushi plus a smoothie and a cake bar as her ‘treat’ day.

Not enough to warrant a 900 kcal lunch. Especially not with a substantial proportion of that being junk food.

If DSD is looking for more energy, maybe an additional protein source and complex carb source would work? If she's looking for something more 'in', then does she have any suggestions for healthy lunches - I'm sure there'll be loads of social media inspiration out there.

@Lunchwoes you sound like a lovely parent, step parent or otherwise. You clearly care about your DSD nutrition and I totally agree that homemade healthy lunches are better than a meal deal.

Definitely talk to DSD and ask what she would like. We make all sorts of pasta/rice salads, bagels and sandwiches in
summer. In winter, we send things like soup or chilli in a flask. You get so many more healthy options and the kids enjoy it.

Keep going. You are definitely not in
the wrong for providing something other than shop bought shite

I would think Apple and celery isn’t very filling. 12 year olds always seem to be eating, maybe putting a cereal bar, baby bel, pretzels etc may fill her up a bit.

Apologies but I am still getting over the fact you send Peanut butter into school.
Isn't it banned????

Give her 2 wraps

And you are totally illegally sending in peanut butter!

Just going to repeat what I already said on page 5 - having worked for many years in many primaries, not once have I worked in one where nuts were banned. It is a complete myth that there is a nut ban in ALL schools.

The meal deal request is silly but I guess she's just sharing an idea of quantity/calories and perhaps think it's easier for you to manage.

The lunch must be too low calorie for her needs so ask what she fancies. Pasta salad is quite filling if she likes that.

I have nothing to add to the excellent advice on this thread, but I just want to say how nice it is! A clearly lovely OP, lots of sensible commenters giving great advice (to which aforementioned lovely OP is receptive) and just general pleasantness.

Haven’t seen an AIBU thread like this in years! Love it!

Yes, because 'home-made' stuff is made from totally different chickens, vegetables and fruit, grown on a separate organic planet, with no pesticides and antibiotics, unlike Tesco mush. Aye.

Crikey - no idea. You'd have to ask a dietician, but it would depend on DSD's height, build and level of activity, and also what else they are having.. whether they snack... Is lunch their main meal, or do they have a big dinner...What drinks they have..
900 would be too high for me for lunch - I eat my main meal in the evening, I'm only 163cm and don't do much running anymore!

That's less than my 8 year old takes in his packed lunch.

Out of curiosity I did ask DH to ask what the preferred meal deal is and it's chicken and bacon pasta, crisps and a smoothie.

Pfft, yeah I’m sure she wants that every day! 😂

Definitely not the best choice for a daily meal though, so I think you’re right to stay the course on this one. Plus if she doesn’t pack enough and her mum raises it again you can just say “Oh, Anna packs her own lunches now. I’ll remind her to pack enough so she doesn’t get hungry.”

Any citrus will do. Agree they're horrible with lemon juice but I just toss them in orange juice or orange and mango juice, leave for 5 mins or so, then dab the excess off. You can't taste any difference and they'll still be nice by lunchtime quite happily.

Is it really the portion size or is really she’s embarrassed to eat that in front of her peers?

We got quite far without UPF being mentioned 😂

Almost unbelievable.

"For info she had a cheese and tomato omelette with a slice of toast for breakfast. Her packed lunch was a roast chicken and salad wrap, apple slices and peanut butter, a Greek yogurt and some celery sticks with hummus" - that sounds like plenty to me (although Id send her with an apple rather than cutting it up)
At 12 I was making my own lunch every day but it was nowhere near as nice as this. Please come and make my lunches @Lunchwoes! It sounds delicious.

I'm another one who thinks it's more about wanting to be cool with her friends. Celery sticks with hummus is part of a lovely, healthy lunch but isn't very cool.

You and your lunch sound lovely, but your DSD wants to wander to big Tesco with her friends, buy a meal deal, eat it in the street on the way back to lunch, then make a TikTok while alternating between giggling helplessly and trying to look cool. Kindly, she doesn't have enough hands to do that and manage dips and fruit. This is a fitting in thing, not a food thing.