Fed up of reading threads asking how they can get out of paying care home fees.

[Nextdoortomeis]

As per the title.
I'm sure lots of people would like the state to pay care home fees.
But we don't live in a fair world.
Both mum and mil paid nearly £70k in fees
yes I didn't want to pay but I also wanted them to get the best care in their later years.

This is such a good point and i actually hadn't thought of this.

So unfair, I’m sorry

There seems to be an assumption that people that don't have assets haven't worked and paid their way.

You can have rented your whole life and still have paid plenty of taxes. Home ownership doesn't make you more deserving than anyone else.

If you're entitled to free care from the NHS for things like cancer, then you should also be entitled for dementia.

You may well be entitled to CHC ( nhs) funding if you have dementia.

As a side note, if you wish to protect your children's inheritance, it is possible to insure against care home costs. This is not cheap, but does mean that you can avoid care costs without acting immorally.

That’s incredibly had to qualify for.

Not true, extremely difficult to meet the medical threshold for NHS care funding even with severe dementia

Interesting, thanks

People seem to have a hard time grasping that the money is NOT theirs until the parents are dead!

Everybody has living costs which change over time and differs from person to person. The downside to healtheir lifestyles and medical advancements is prolonging life while the mind dies, or the body deteriorates but doesn't die.

There simply isn't enough money to pay for everyone. People with assets need to use them.

It is very hard.

I am nearer that stage than most on here and have heart problems, so I could finish up needing the help of a care or nursing home.

In an ideal world I would much rather spend that money on legacies for my very dear AC and GC, but the simple fact is that when we need something we have to buy it with our money: house, food, clothes etc., and this is no different - if we have need of care, then we must buy it, just as we do anything else.

My late OH needed a great deal of care, both at home and eventually in a NH. Our savings fell above the limits for state aid, and in fact I also sold our home and downsized in order to pay for the standard of care that I wanted for him.

My DDs knew exactly what was going on and their view was that I must spend what I needed to make sure that he got the right care; and that is exactly how they feel about me. Of course they would love a financial windfall in these difficult times, but my well-being is more important to them.

Buying care is no different from anything else and help is there when the funds get too low. The critical issue from my point of view is the quality of that care, and here many problems wait to be solved.

This is awful. Your poor dad. Also knowing that he is not the only one to have suffered abuse and a lack of care in a so called care home, and he won’t be the last. The whole ‘caring’ industry needs to be looked at. It is so dodgy and a lot of the time it’s far from ‘caring’.

I mean it is true. But it’s a difficult and lengthy process ( usually too long to impact unfortunately) and you need to provide a whole heap of evidence on top of a diagnosis.

CHC funding is tricky for most health issues tbh.

It’s not true though.

There is something about the scale of the costs involved that makes it feel different from other financial issues, for sure. My conclusion on some of the issues we had to decide on was, “it doesn’t matter - either way we go, the cost to her is going to be ‘all her money.’’ It’s bit like how a mortgage doesn’t feel like other debt because it’s so massive.

Agree, it’s a really difficult process too.

Should be a separate tax for everyone for basic care start paying as soon as you start working, but still the non working tribe still get cared for! What’s the answer what do other countries do?

My dad has severe dementia and did not meet the threshold as he wasn't unpredictable enough (because he was drugged into submission and then couldn't get out of his chair to try and escape or hurt people)

I am honestly not sure what level.of dementia by itself would result in CHC

The assessor even said if he met the threshold for a while he would probably stop being eligible again once he was unable to get out of bed as he would be "easier to manage"

I’ve via agency work been sent to many of the local authority run care homes in the county where I live and they are unbelievably grim.

They reek of urine,are very badly maintained,not very clean,the food is the lowest quality and quantity and staffing levels are appalling.

I now work permanently in a 5* rated home and the difference is enormous.

Nope! My mum worked her whole life and a single parent!
She rented and had little savings so now she is in a care home she pays a top up and the state pays the rest!
But like I said she was never on benefits and worked (at one time 3 jobs)!

I accept that it is absolutely reasonable to expect elderly people to fund their own care. But there needs to be far better oversight of the quality and standard of the care provided. So many places charge extortionate fees and the care is atrocious and the carers are on minimum wage. I could write pages of horror stories, but it is too distressing.

The alternative is to care for your parents yourselves, or get your kids to look after you.

What is not fair is that if your elderly relative gets cancer and becomes unwell and unable to care for themselves they are cared for for free until their life ends.

If your elderly relative gets dementia and becomes unwell and unable to care for themselves they have to pay for their care.

That's not fair - it's a complete lottery depending on what causes people to lose their ability to care for themselves as to whether they are expected to fund their care and that is completely unfair.

The first home my dad was abused in was one of those super duper homes.

Yeah, it didn’t stink of piss, I’ll give them that but the actual “care” was no better. He’d still be left sitting in his own shit. I’d go in everyday. They wouldn’t have got him changed, he was still in the same clothes as the day before but covered in shit.

I had to go into hospital for a week, no one else to see him, when I went back, he was in an awful state and he’d fallen in that time, they had left him with dried blood all over his hands and face.

Moved him elsewhere and more awful things happened.

I disnt want him in a home as I used to work for one of the big chains. It broke my heart but I couldn’t keep him safe at home. They are all terrible.

I remember being at a conference once where one of the owners was laughing about dementia research, saying how idiots give money to dementia charities and that if a cure was found tomorrow, it would be hidden as there is so much money in it. he then went on to say how much he loved demetia as that’s what kept him in a new Range Rover every year.

I wouldn’t demetia on anyone, but I hope that man gets it and suffers for years.

I think this is the crux of the issue.

If everyone paid for care home fees then I think it would feel intrinsically more fair and there would be less desire to avoid them. As things stand though, people feel naturally aggrieved that they have to hand over a significant chunk of their hard won life savings for something that other people get for free. It feels unfair because it is unfair.

What do you do though with the people that haven't saved enough to cover their care? What is fair isn't always what is humane or kind.

Personally I think that your idea of a tax would be a good idea and should be paid by everyone. It would be expensive but care is expensive. This would stop people drifting through life, largely spending what they earn and then getting to the end and finding they haven't put away enough money to cover their care. It shifts the mentality from societal responsible to personal responsibility.

I know this might sound outlandish but the only sure fire way of getting out of paying for a care home is to keep yourself well.

Don’t eat or drink to excess, don’t smoke. Keep working, keep learning, keep friends Exercise every day. Go outside. Go vegetarian at least. Vegan if possible and eat as many fruits and vegetables each day as possible and find something funny to have a laugh about each day. Even if it is how pathetic your life has become.
I’ve had times where I have found myself so broke that I started looking for coins on the pavement. Friend saw me and asked what I was doing and when I told her I started to laugh then she started to laugh because it was just so funny and pathetic at the same time.