My mum is withholding my inheritance from my grandfather because of ideological reasons

[Camde]

None of this is confirmed, but I have strong suspicions.

my grandfather sadly passed away last year. He owned a very successful business, and was very generous with all his grand kids.

since he died, I have heard my mother (his daughter) and uncle having conversations about dealing with the inheritance from him. For context, I know that my uncle received enough to pay off all the mortgage on his new £1.2m house, so I know my mum likely received a similar amount.

My grandfather also told me before he passed a few times that I’d be receiving a good inheritance and shouldn’t waste it.

the issue is, my mother is very ideologically opposed to the idea of she or her kids inheriting money. She is very left wing, and believes that it is immoral for some people to receive inheritances when others don’t receive anything. Therefore, she has refused her portion of the inheritance.

it also means that I have no idea how much I have inherited. She is the executor of the will, and I have not seen it. I only ask as I’m saving up to buy a house, and it would be great to know whether I’m likely to receive any money to help with a deposit.

Every time I’ve asked her about my inheritance, she gets very angry and accuses me of not loving my grandfather and only caring about his money, which isn’t true.

how do I deal with this? I don’t want to fall out with my mum over this, and she is still very much grieving.

Pretty ironic that your mother has ideologies yet no morals.

If she doesn't believe in inheritances then she can refuse hers or equally leave her OP nothing upon her death. However, knowing her DF wishes were for DGC to receive part of his inheritance, and for her to interfere with those wishes makes her a person of very low moral standing.

Point blank refusing to talk about it makes her very stubborn and unreasonable. I'd fire back and go NC, especially if you have DC. Why expose them to someone who imposes their ideologies and refuses to have a reasonable discussion?

Not someone you want DC to model their behaviour on.

I would write to your mother and uncle in their capacity as trustees - they have legal duties to you as beneficiaries and your mother as a lawyer will be aware of this. I would also reference your grandfather's conversations with you re the matter - so it is clear that your motive is that his wishes are being adhered to. Is this something that perhaps you could do jointly with the other beneficiaries?

She's being very disrespectful of your grandad by refusing to carry out his wishes. Refusing for herself, fine, I'm sure he'd be hurt but OK.

But imagine him finding out that he entrusted her to give his money to his grandchild, it was important to him. And she's refused. I imagine he'd be incredibly hurt and angry.

It's yours, you're legally entitled to it and I. Pretty sure an executor of a will refusing to hand over someone's inheritance is a criminal offence. But rather than let it get nasty, can you try talking to her from your grandads point of view. How he would feel about her refusing to do what he'd trusted her with.

I'm very left wing and I spend a lot of time in left wing organising circles. The trade unionists I know are treated as centre-right by some of my other friends, I know people who've spent Christmas with the Zapatistas, etc. And I've never met anyone who would take this position! They might donate a lot of the inheritance to worthy causes, and they wouldn't spend it on private schools or buy to lets, but they wouldn't see a moral value in refusing it. This poster's mother has managed to take a position that would not be shared by literally anyone I know. And she's a corporate lawyer too! Who knew!

I would seek legal advice yourself. There's no need to tell anyone and you can choose your own solicitors, there's no reason to see the same firm as your Grandfather. I'd imagine if your Mum and Uncle are Trustees, then they will have to agree to any money being given to you and your cousins. Your Uncle wouldn't, for example, be able to give his children money, but your Mum withhold yours. Whatever, they decide has to be a joint decision. You also need to find out what happens to the money, if your Mum and Uncle decide to never distribute the inheritance?!!! Essentially, you have an inheritance, that's being held to ransom, and there's no guarantee you'll ever receive it!! At this time, you need to work on the basis that you'll never see a penny if the money.

If you are a beneficiary you are entitled to sue that part of the Will before it becomes a public record as far as I’m aware - so ask executors for it

@Steambeets circles of friends where people do what's colloquially referred to as "organising" (campaigns etc) around causes generally agreed to be left-wing (renters unions, climate justice, workers' rights, international solidarity, human rights)

You can take her to court and remove her as the executor if she is not following the will. She has a legal obligation. When it comes to money there is no family.

There seems to be confusion here. I misremembered his death as being last year, but when I checked the probate i realised it was actually summer 2023 that he died. The probate was completed in 2024.

there's no reason to see the same firm as your Grandfather

The OP must use her own solicitor. There is a clear conflict.

If the OP's mother really is a corporate solicitor then she's a very stupid and bad one for more reasons than I've got time to post.

There should be the name of the solicitors who made the Will on the document itself. Sometimes solicitor amalgamate over time so the firm may have a different name by now, but you can search on line. Any decent solicitor would have made a note of why your grandfather wanted anything out of the ordinary in his Will in case the matter ever went to Court/was questioned, so I'd contact them saying you understand you're a discretionary beneficiary and would like to know what he said. If nothing else, it may help you understand the reasoning for this.

Deffo speak to the solicitor if you can. And if uncle gives his kids some it seems like you should get the same? All sounds most bizarre though

I could be wrong but I thought wills were only available to the public if the estate was worth a LOT of money? I thought there was a minimum threshold? (usually at least 7 figures.)

Yes, you can pay online to view a will. Not sure how long after but I did it for my nan and dad's.

No, my nan had very little and my dad's certainly was 5 figures!

7 figures sorry! 😆

https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/help

All wills that have gone through probate are public record

Excuse me OP but your mum is so left-leaning that she refuses to allow other adults to access their inheritance yet works in corporate law?! Come on now.

This is where I think people make mistakes in wills. This idea that inheritance will trickle down is naive.

As someone who was told by their own grandfather that I would be looked after in his will which really meant he was leaving everything to my mother and I would one day get it. That wasn’t going to happen because everything my mother had was going to my cousins

Or my father saying I would get everything from him as I was his only dd. He didn’t leave a will and at the time of his death we were estranged. His brother then denied I existed and took everything.

If you want someone to have something from your estate then make sure you give it them directly by stating it in your will. Don’t rely on other people to do what you want if you haven’t put it in writing

What will your DM do with the money instead OP? Has she said anything to you? She may be limited if she wants to give it all away to good causes and none of the intended beneficiaries get anything.

It will cost you money to follow this up with a solicitor, something to bear in mind. You should set those costs, plus the emotional cost of possibly falling out with your mum, against what you might gain.

My grandfather wanged on endlessly about his will, wanting DGCs to be treated fairly etc, but DB and I got nothing in the end and really it made no material difference to our lives, although a bit of extra money at the time would have been nice. It may be better to let it go.

If this was me and I had probably the worlds only left wing idealist corporate solicitor mother then I would be taking legal advice to interpret the will and present me with my options. This may cost some money, but would at least provide some certainty for the future. It would also prevent me blowing up the relationship with my mother if I knew there was nothing I could do about pursuing the issue.

People on here can speculate nearly endlessly, but the exact wording of the will is probably very important and once you start dealing with trusts it generally becomes too difficult for the layperson to offer advice.