to hate when people who don't know me use the shortened version of my name

[Haveapotato]

This happens in work ALL the time. Let's say I am called Elizabeth, but Liz to my friends / close work colleagues. I have no problem with being called Liz in conversation, but it's not what I go by in general and I always introduce myself / sign off my emails as Elizabeth, particularly when it's in a work context / introducing myself to clients.

I get so many emails from people I've never interacted with before starting with 'Hi Liz', or someone puts my name down as an action owner as 'Liz Smith'. It really riles me.

Whenever I email someone for the first time, I always use their first/full name as per their email address, then if they reply to me signing off with a using a shorter name I will use that going forward, but I'd never go straight in with 'Hi Jan' when the person's name is Janet.

AIBU?!

And yes I know I have too much time on my hands if this is all I have to worry about.....

Whereas I would sign off with my full name in bold or capitals in those circumstances!

i go by the short version of my name, but it has two possible long versions. Many twats I meet decide to be clever and call me by the long name….and 99% of the time they use the wrong one. It irks me more than it should and I just ignore them or look over my shoulder. “Oh, thats not my name, I didnt realise you were talking to me”. This doesn’t usually happen in a professional context, its almost always men in a casual setting who think they must prove they have “worked out my real name”.

Or even worse an actual letter address to Mrs Liz Surname!
I had a job offer sent out once like that & I phoned up & made them issue another one!

That isn’t my bloody name!

I get this a bit. I just tell them 'by the way, my name is Elizabeth not Liz'. Have never had to do it more than once

In a previous life (job) it was common knowledge that you used a shortened version of my name if you wanted a shortened career.

I was (still am) a very senior woman in a male dominated field and it smacked of trying to make me less, fluffier.

Only my family and close friends use the short version. It’s a term of affection. It denotes familiarity and closeness, not a junior salesman calling me it to make us seem like mates.

I’ve been accused of being “feminist” about it. Damn fucking right.

I’ve mellowed in older age but most people at work still wouldn’t dare call me what is essentially my nickname.

I don’t like it either.

I don’t actually use the long version of my name (Elizabeth, to use the OP’s example). Only my mother ever used that!

I use the “middle” version and always introduce myself as Lizzie. My very closest family call me Liz, and although I don’t actually like the name, I like them calling me it.

However I absolute hate it if anyone else calls me that, especially if I have just introduced myself to them as Lizzie!

Sorry, maybe I didn’t explain well, I often get called a similar name with a similar spelling to mine. I didn’t mean a homophone, so another example would be I’m called Betsy but people frequently call me Bessie by mistake. The names sound different, are spelled differently but somehow get confused.

This happens to me all the time and it drives me insane. I think it’s so rude!! My DH and closest friends don’t shorten my name yet at the moment there is a random work colleague I barely know that shortens my name in every email, every phone call, every teams call yet I sign my full name EVERY SINGLE TIME. It’s so disrespectful - not to mention I laterally hate the version of my name she uses. I empathise!

I get this so much. I introduce myself by the slightly shortened version of my name but only family and close friends call me the even more shortened one. However DH has talked to so many people about me with the really shortened version that they just call me that immediately. I've given up at this point but it still grates a bit.

This used to bother me so much. One time, when I answered the phone to someone looking for "Maggie", I told them they had the wrong number, there was nobody by that name here.

But somehow it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm not sure when the change came about.

Funnily enough when I first met DH and he introduced himself using his full name I immediately asked if I could call him by a shortened version. To this day, only me and my family call him that. (he obviously agreed he was happy to go by the shortened version. I wouldn't have continued to call him Tom if he wanted to be called Thomas).

I get this a lot… I think it’s quite clear from my username what my name is, however people at work take it upon themselves to just call me Nat… I hate that shortening, I wondered who they were referring to at first because they’ve never asked whether I shortened my name (I generally don’t at work). What‘s even more annoying is that my name is spelled slightly differently and I always sign off with it, but then people use the conventional spelling in response. Just so rude.

Mine is always pronounced as a very common name, not what it actually is. Similar with my surname. It makes me wonder how many people can actually possibly be dyslexic that this happens all the bloody time. First name, not that unusual. Second name historical taught in all primary schools. Drives me potty and I always still feel guilty correcting people.

I realised long ago that allowing other people to make me uncomfortable at my expense was not a good idea. People can and do change if you are polite but firm in your direction. Aka you can change this.

In my case it's tbe opposite people want a longer version of my name lthere isn't one - .my name is unusual 2 syllables but sounds short so people want to make it longer I'm constantly asked what it is short for. Nothing. This is my name.

I call people by what they introduce themselves by. Today I had to write to a regular contractors accountant department I knew their woman was Claire/ Clare/ Clair but I could not recall the spelling. So I took the minute to check old email and I spelt it right in my email. It's her name and she is respectful towards me so I am towards her. (No i for this Clare) it's not rocket science.

Mixed messages.

I agree with @NotMilanese , @firkinn , and @TheWolfHouse .

Some names just don't roll off the tongue, do they? Not so much Elizabeth (although, well, four syllables) but like Peter? Peeeteeeerrrr.

Nope. Pete is so much better.

A Darren is a Daz. A Karen is a Kaz. A Sarah is a Saz. A Barry is a Baz.

These are rules to live by.

Maybe not in the office, though (which, I guess, is your point).

As an aside, there are lots of lovely derivatives of Elizabeth - Liz, Lizzie, Elle, Ellie, Beth....You might find it annoying Op but at least you have a good one!

You are not being unreasonable. They did this to my mom at work so much she just gave up and went by her short name. NOBODY outside of work colleagues calls her that and she hates it.

Really couldnt give a flying duck, im just glad someone's talking to me 😂

Seriously i have an unusual name that is always being misspelled or mispronounced, i dont even bother to correct people, who cares what my name is, i know they mean me and thats whats important. If i thought they were being purposely disrespectful that different but if it was just that they thought it was my name then what difference does it make. It seems odd to be so precious and unnecessarily upset over something that isnt intended to be rude.

This is my experience too. And the people who insist on shortening it after you have asked them not to are even worse.

If I get an email from Thomas Smith, I’ll always check what’s he has signed off his previous email with and use that. If it’s a first email, I’ll always address Thomas, even if it’s likely he is widely known as Tom. In your case I’d particularly note that you’ve signed off as Elizabeth and conclude that if you wanted to be addressed as Liz, you wouldn’t have signed off as Elizabeth.
just good etiquette imo.

Just correct them every time. They'll soon get the message.

There is an irritating arse of a woman on the school run who shortens everyone’ she likes names to something she wants to call them. Think:

Hailey becomes Hails
Jessica becomes Jessie J
Victoria becomes Vickster
Elizabeth isn’t Liz, she decides it is Lizzie
Hannah becomes Hans

It’s the weirdest thing. She and her husband have the same pet name for each other and they use it public. Irrationally irritates me.

YANBU

Not really. If close friends shorten my name fine, in a professional environment such as work it isn't appropriate. On the appliancation form it asks your preferred name. If I went by my shortened name fine but I don't.

The only people who get away with it are my gym instructor, my boss(and he doesn't do it when talking about me), and my friends.

My family have a completely different name for me.

Let's say I am called Elizabeth, but Liz to my friends / close work colleagues. I have no problem with being called Liz in conversation...

I get so many emails from people I've never interacted with before starting with 'Hi Liz', or someone puts my name down as an action owner as 'Liz Smith'. It really riles me.

So, if you are being referred to as Liz in conversation at work by close work colleagues, and then people who you've never interacted with call you Liz.... maybe that's because they think you are called Liz!

I think it's strange that you are happy to be called by two different forms of your name, in different circumstances, by different people, and you expect them to understand your personal rules of engagement.

Do you have a grand ceremony where you bestow the right to call you Liz on email?

Agreed; it gets a bit confusing if you have different rules for different colleagues and a bit awkward (because they know who is a friend or not). I think it is rude not to use the name somebody introduces themselves to you as but they don't know what degree of closeness you have to have before the shortened name is permissable, you will probably encounter this situation a lot (I think it's a bit different if it was a nickname as I would totally get that was for friends only but a shortened name is a lot harder).

I get this. Brand new manager started once and I had never met him and he called me the shortened version of my name.

Another colleague adds a "z" on the end of the shortened version to make it sound "cutesy".

If we're friends/family and I'm comfortable with you, call me what you like. If you've never met me before or we're just acquaintances, call me by my actual name.

I don't call you Babz, it's not your name.