to hate when people who don't know me use the shortened version of my name

[Haveapotato]

This happens in work ALL the time. Let's say I am called Elizabeth, but Liz to my friends / close work colleagues. I have no problem with being called Liz in conversation, but it's not what I go by in general and I always introduce myself / sign off my emails as Elizabeth, particularly when it's in a work context / introducing myself to clients.

I get so many emails from people I've never interacted with before starting with 'Hi Liz', or someone puts my name down as an action owner as 'Liz Smith'. It really riles me.

Whenever I email someone for the first time, I always use their first/full name as per their email address, then if they reply to me signing off with a using a shorter name I will use that going forward, but I'd never go straight in with 'Hi Jan' when the person's name is Janet.

AIBU?!

And yes I know I have too much time on my hands if this is all I have to worry about.....

It is so rude when people do that -if someone introduced themselves to me as ‘Robert’ I reply - ‘hi Robert’ ; to shorten to Rob or Bobbie or Bertie etc is just presumptuous especially the first time you meet people.

names are so important and I always respect what people call themselves - not what anyone else calls them.

’it may be ‘Bobbiekins’ is used by Roberts mum - but that is not for me to use unless expressly directed to when someone introduces themselves to me as ‘Robert’ !

I have a name that can't really be shortened without it sounding very personal and unprofessional. It's not a name that is traditionally shortened...think Brian and Bri. It really annoys me too when someone I don't know that well says "Bri". What's worse is the "Baz" or "Bazzer" bit. No one calls me that. My dad only used the Bri version once in his life.

Nb. I'm not called Brian....it's Tarquin😉😂😂

I agree OP. For me, it isn't about whether I like the short version or not-I do. It's over familiarity which I dislike with strangers. My shortened version feels too friendly for anyone to use immediately. I prefer my full name. Mind you, I don't even like my wife calling me babe/darling etc unless I've hurt myself/were in bed/I'm crying/it's relevant. I have hang ups about context. Nothing worse to me than her at the top of the stairs shouting 'BAAABE can you get X, y or z' I tell her I like my name, it's my name. She actually shouts it in Polish because shes Polish too. 'Kohanie'. Ugh. She doesn't understand it but she tries 😂 I love her and obviously this doesn't upset me as much as other things in life!

YANBU, I get similar and it is very presumptuous.

It’s so rude.

it happens to my DH all the time.

he is Thomas and goes by Thomas but people call him Tom or even worse Tommy.

But you go by Liz with some people? I don’t get that. Either you prefer to be called Liz or you don’t.

I use a nickname form of my name and I wish everyone would just use that. I’m so fed up of correcting doctors etc. I think you are being a bit precious if this is a name you actually use.

YANBU

I don’t understand how people find it hard to just call people by the name they’ve told them.

If I hear someone else call them a shortened version I would guess it is a different level of familiarity unless the person tells me otherwise.

What people call me tells me who they are. My family calls me a nickname, my husband calls me a term of an endearment or a shortened version of my name that I allow others to use. Those who use my full first name are people who I went to primary and/or secondary with.

The only issue I have is different pronunciations for certain names (Sarah for example) since I’m used to hearing 2-3 different ones and then hear different people say them to one person so I tend to ask the person when I get a chance.

I introduce myself using full name. Don’t mind if people use shortened or full version.
I have found that at work, most people do ask if I prefer the full or shortened version. Occasionally somebody will use the shortened version without asking.
I think people who do this are are presumptuous.
I think that it can be a purposeful a put-down to call someone by the shortened version particularly when in a senior positions.
I think that it can seem overly familiar.
I think that people using shortened versions of names straight-off, have poor manners.
I think people using shortened versions straight off lack self awareness.
I chose my DC names that can be shortened so that they have choice. Think Edward (ed, Ned ted), Jonathan (Jon, Jonnie, Jo).

It feels really over familiar, and I hate it!

Mine is a name which doesn't have a shortened version that's an actual name (same as the Brian to Bri example above, though my name isn't Brian!) and the only people who called me my version of 'Bri' are my siblings, DH, and a couple of life-long friends. Which is fine and feels like an affectionate, family thing.

When anyone does it who aren't those people it feels all kinds of wrong.

See also anyone except DH who refers to me as 'babe', 'sweetheart' or worse (and even DH wouldn't get away with this!) 'hon'. No, no, no!

Just call people what they introduce themselves as or if you're not sure then ASK!

Yes I only use my full name. As I never use the shortening it doesn’t register as me which I’ve pointed out eg Liz will action x or y in my mind Liz is doing it not me. I do mention it if I can. We also had a new team member join with same name and initially agreed I’d be full she doesn’t mind shortened so we thought won’t be an issue I’ll be full name, her short but it didn’t work as people shorten mine.

Ynbu I always make sure I check someone’s email signature before I reply. I had a panic the other day as I’d responded to someone as Josh and then couldn’t remember if he had signed off as Joshua. Had to dig his email out to doublecheck, luckily I was right.

My husband has a name that can be shortened. He doesn’t shorten it and it always seems odd when people who don’t know him call him that.

Some people don't mind it though.

I have a colleague, Gary. We all call him Gaz.

I asked him once , did he mind that we called him that.

He said no, that he really likes if.

isn't 'peggy' a diminutive of Margaret?

I agree with this. If the people you are close to at work call you Liz then it’s not suprising that other people do too

ronan (ROW-NANN) vs rowan (row-ann), are not homophones!!

I have this and I hate it. My name has various shortened versions and the one I go by is not the one most people use. For example instead of Elizabeth I use Eli but people are calling me Liz all the time. It really gets my back up. In professional situations I always use my full name and never sign off as anything else but it doesn't stop everyone calling me Liz.

I have even had one colleague ask if she can calle me Liz and I told her no, you can calle Eli but she still calls me Liz!
I think I have let it go one for too long now though. I should have nipped it in the bud when I started here 10 years ago, so I won't be doing anything about it.

People do it to me all of the time! It only annoys me if I have taken a dislike to the person, or the first time we have met. It goes -
Me “nice to meet you, I am Livpool”
Them “hi Liv”

It’s weird and a bit rude

I’m Natasha and people always call me Nat, people who don’t know me email me or call me Nat. I find it quite nice as it feels friendly!

Not unreasonable to feel this way.

I personally don't find it rude. It depends who does it and how they do it. Regularity also.

Another one here who hates her name being shortened. Only my immediate family can call me “Storm”, I always correct, my name is “ThirdStorm”, please call me “ThirdStorm”. Clear and assertive and generally I find people correct themselves.

I have never once called myself the short version of my name but everyone calls me it. I find it weird. Occasionally people ask if I am okay with it and I have to say yes because it is so widespread, I can’t do anything about it. My only social circle who call me by my name is at my hobby and I appreciate that.

My DH has this with his name I dont think its outing to say his name is Stephen and he hates Steve . He likes Ste so he isnt being precious or anything but just doesnt like Steve . Hardly anyone takes any notice though ! Its very annoying!

A good work friend of mine had a name that was routinely shortened by everyone, for years, until one day she sent out a little note saying how much she hated it and could we all please use her given name instead. Which we did!

People pick up on what they hear - it’s not necessarily a disrespectful assumption that it’s ok to call you Liz (for eg) if lots of people call you Liz to your face, or refer to you as Liz when you’re not in the room.

Probably a bit more tricky if you sometimes allow the use of a shortened version but prefer the more formal one, though, as it’s easy for confusion to arise around how you want to be addressed.

I get it. My son's name has a common shortened version but he likes his full name so we only refer to him as that and yet some of dh's family only call him the short version. They even address birthday cards to him using the shortened name and spell the name wrong, say it was Will, they write Wil. Odd.

I get this a lot, especially on dating apps. I find it a bit rude…in my opinion you should call people by the name they introduce themselves as. So if you sign your emails off as Elizabeth, people should call you Elizabeth unless you’re particularly close to the person!