To not be bothered if son likes football

rosedahlialily · 2025-03-30T16:31:20+00:00

I’m pregnant with my first baby, due in June and it’s a boy. Ever since DH’s family found out I’ve been inundated with the question ”Will you get him to play football?” alongside comments around how football is the best thing you can get a little boy into, will he support X team etc. I just don’t get it at all. I didn’t grow up around football and DH is the anomaly in that he was forced to play/go to games but hated it. We have no interest in introducing football to future son but family seems to be obsessed with the idea. Sports are obviously great for health/ socialising etc, but why football and not tennis or any other sport!? I just know as soon as they meet him they will gift us a baby football kit. They arnt even a mad football family they just quite traditional and think that a boy must love football. Am I missing something!?

SusanSHelit · 30/03/2025 17:35

You are missing nothing, my ds tried football, hated probably as much as I hated standing in the middle of a drizzly field watch him. He packed it in and took up swimming.

He's fitter than most of his peers, made plenty of swimming friends, good at his sport and I get to sip coffee in the warm and civilised cafe at the pool

He'll kick a ball about with his friends after school and watch the match with his dad sometimes, but football is certainly not the be all and end all

Barleysugar86 · 30/03/2025 17:37

I am not bothered about football myself but I did want to encourage some interest in it with my son because it seems to be a universal bonding thing with boys. For instance, one of the mums at a friends wedding took some of the boys to the park to blow off steam with a kick around, and his beavers often has a little game of football going on as the kids are turning up. I think my son appreciated having some football classes beforehand so he can understand and do the basics. It's a good way to make friends. He did football classes at school and seemed to enjoy them for two years then decided he didn't want to anymore and that was fine. But he is interested in watching England play and talking about it with others at school. I don't think there is the prevalence of other sports in boys lives - it's not often he is able to bond with others over his tennis or kickboxing- silly as it is.

moonmaker93 · 30/03/2025 17:40

I don’t like football either, but agree with the poster above that the exercise and socialisation opportunities are good for them. Why not just tell them that you’ll get him to give it a go and see if he likes it. Do think it’s bizarre they’re thinking so far ahead, but I guess at least they’re taking an interest. Agree it’s not fair to push interests on them, but equally good to encourage them to do stuff that will benefit them. I think at least one sport is important, personally.

Original poster

rosedahlialily · 30/03/2025 17:43

I wouldn’t stop him if he showed an interest but the priority of football over other sports does feel odd to me. Also it seems like they are pushing for him to play for a football team/in a league.

OP posts:

Hoppinggreen · 30/03/2025 17:43

DH is into football, more playing than watching,especially since hes older and had a knee op.
DS has no interest at all in football but he is into another sport that DH never played. DS plays at school but I go to watch games with him and DH goes to the gym with him.
It was actually DD who played football

Alllll · 30/03/2025 17:47

It’s because it’s what most boys play, it’s the most popular sport in the UK, it’s a bonding activity to play, talk about, watch etc. and it’s financially accessible to everyone.

Why is being gifted a football kit a bad thing?

SouthLondonMum22 · 30/03/2025 17:48

I love football and DS started little toddler football classes as soon as he could at 18 months but then it will be the same when DD's are old enough to join as girls can (obviously) also enjoy football.

To play football, you only need a ball. I think that's a reason why it is so popular, anyone can have a kick about.

moonmaker93 · 30/03/2025 17:49

rosedahlialily · 30/03/2025 17:43

I wouldn’t stop him if he showed an interest but the priority of football over other sports does feel odd to me. Also it seems like they are pushing for him to play for a football team/in a league.

I think you just need to take a bit of a “yeah, we’ll see” response and not engage with it too much, because at the end of the day who knows what he’ll like before he’s even here? They’ll soon get bored, and besides you’re the parents so will be able to support him as you see best.

Invisablepanic · 30/03/2025 17:51

I've got 3 boys and none are interested in football. All have done various sports clubs and I've offered football but they were never bothered. They tend not to play at lunchtime at school either as I think the kids who do are very into it. DH does watch a match occasionally but they never want to join him and he only really watches the big matches anyway.

Original poster

rosedahlialily · 30/03/2025 17:52

moonmaker93 · 30/03/2025 17:49

I think you just need to take a bit of a “yeah, we’ll see” response and not engage with it too much, because at the end of the day who knows what he’ll like before he’s even here? They’ll soon get bored, and besides you’re the parents so will be able to support him as you see best.

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It just feels like they are perpetuating gender stereotypes about what he should like even before he is born? Or before he has any likes or dislikes? They would never gift him a baby ballet outfit for example. I’m glad they are taking an interest and I’m going to try play it by ear but I wondered if I’m in the minority.

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Invisablepanic · 30/03/2025 17:52

Meant to say GPs are all disappointed as they are football people.

Maray1967 · 30/03/2025 17:53

rosedahlialily · 30/03/2025 17:43

I wouldn’t stop him if he showed an interest but the priority of football over other sports does feel odd to me. Also it seems like they are pushing for him to play for a football team/in a league.

They can push all they like - but a child’s parents are the people who decide what activities a child will try and when. No one else. I’d have great fun pushing back to be honest. Tell them he’ll be spending hours in the library/playing chess/learning guitar/gardening.

Neither of mine were that interested in football. And we live in Liverpool…

DuskyPink1984 · 30/03/2025 17:54

‘…comments around how football is the best thing you can get a little boy into, will he support X team etc.’

I agree with them because my sons both love football. We have a really good youth team locally, both my ds’s joined at age 5 and played until they were 16. Training once a week and matches every Saturday during the football season and my youngest also played in the Sunday team. It was good for them in numerous ways but had they not enjoyed if, it wouldn’t have been forced on them.

Maray1967 · 30/03/2025 17:56

I have a very low tolerance of grandparental disappointment. PIL were given to understand before DS2 was born that no DC of mine will ever be a disappointment and would not spend much time with anyone who was ‘disappointed’ . In our case the issue was the sex of the baby - but I would have done the same with football mad grandparents.

Hoppinggreen · 30/03/2025 17:57

Alllll · 30/03/2025 17:47

It’s because it’s what most boys play, it’s the most popular sport in the UK, it’s a bonding activity to play, talk about, watch etc. and it’s financially accessible to everyone.

Why is being gifted a football kit a bad thing?

Nothing as long as there is no coercion and/or disappointment if someone chooses a different sport or to follow a different team.
I am sure its not the same at every school but DS and his friends were not keen on the "football boys" at his school as they weren't the nicest or most inclusive

Alllll · 30/03/2025 17:58

Maray1967 · 30/03/2025 17:53

They can push all they like - but a child’s parents are the people who decide what activities a child will try and when. No one else. I’d have great fun pushing back to be honest. Tell them he’ll be spending hours in the library/playing chess/learning guitar/gardening.

Neither of mine were that interested in football. And we live in Liverpool…

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You can enjoy both. My nephew enjoys football, chess and going to the library.

Alllll · 30/03/2025 18:01

Hoppinggreen · 30/03/2025 17:57

Nothing as long as there is no coercion and/or disappointment if someone chooses a different sport or to follow a different team.
I am sure its not the same at every school but DS and his friends were not keen on the "football boys" at his school as they weren't the nicest or most inclusive

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Yes, I’m sure that it’s not the case at every school.

I doubt anyone’s going to be genuinely disappointed if he doesn’t like football.

moonmaker93 · 30/03/2025 18:01

rosedahlialily · 30/03/2025 17:52

It just feels like they are perpetuating gender stereotypes about what he should like even before he is born? Or before he has any likes or dislikes? They would never gift him a baby ballet outfit for example. I’m glad they are taking an interest and I’m going to try play it by ear but I wondered if I’m in the minority.

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Yeah, totally understand. I don’t like the subtext behind it either, but then it’s picking your battles, as realistically they’ll have little to no say. If, once he’s actually here, he likes ballet - for example - and they start trying to push him towards football, then that’s an issue at that point for the reasons you’ve set out and I would be saying something so he doesn’t absorb that thinking as he grows up. Me, personally, right now I’d leave them with it. Or just teasingly say “Well, you never know! Might be a ballerina instead!” 😉

Alllll · 30/03/2025 18:02

rosedahlialily · 30/03/2025 17:52

It just feels like they are perpetuating gender stereotypes about what he should like even before he is born? Or before he has any likes or dislikes? They would never gift him a baby ballet outfit for example. I’m glad they are taking an interest and I’m going to try play it by ear but I wondered if I’m in the minority.

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I bet they’d buy a girl their team’s football kit though. It’s just a bit of fun.

Original poster

rosedahlialily · 30/03/2025 18:04

moonmaker93 · 30/03/2025 18:01

Yeah, totally understand. I don’t like the subtext behind it either, but then it’s picking your battles, as realistically they’ll have little to no say. If, once he’s actually here, he likes ballet - for example - and they start trying to push him towards football, then that’s an issue at that point for the reasons you’ve set out and I would be saying something so he doesn’t absorb that thinking as he grows up. Me, personally, right now I’d leave them with it. Or just teasingly say “Well, you never know! Might be a ballerina instead!” 😉

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100%! I think I replied to the wrong person before

OP posts:

Original poster

rosedahlialily · 30/03/2025 18:04

Alllll · 30/03/2025 18:02

I bet they’d buy a girl their team’s football kit though. It’s just a bit of fun.

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I know for a fact they wouldn’t as no other girl babies in the family got one

OP posts:

Alllll · 30/03/2025 18:06

rosedahlialily · 30/03/2025 18:04

I know for a fact they wouldn’t as no other girl babies in the family got one

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Fair enough.

I still don’t reality see the harm though. If he ends up loving football then great, and if it turns out he’s not bothered about it then no harm done.

TheNightingalesStarling · 30/03/2025 18:09

There is asmall part of me glad I didn't have boys as my observation is that football is the unhealthiest of all children's activities. It should be fun but ruined by over obsessive adults. Other sports get them to a lesser extent, but football sends some people crazy.

Just follow your sons interests. He might enjoy toddler football.... or he might enjoy Gymnastics or rugby tots or swimming or a music class. Then as he's older, maybe he will be inspired by Billy Elliot or want to be England Goalie. He's not even born yet, you can't know where his interests will lie.

If he does get into field sports, invest in warm boots and good thermals!

(One of my girls is into climbing, musical theatre and Scouts, the other plays rugby and Scouts).

KrisAkabusi · 30/03/2025 18:09

rosedahlialily · 30/03/2025 17:43

I wouldn’t stop him if he showed an interest but the priority of football over other sports does feel odd to me. Also it seems like they are pushing for him to play for a football team/in a league.

Why? It's far and away the most popular sport, both in terms of participation and viewing numbers. Of course more people are going to ask about it than other sports.

DonningMyHardHat · 30/03/2025 18:10

Some families are just very into football.

My parents were never into football but they both came from ‘football families’. My brother caught the bug and was obsessed from the age of 2 or 3 despite no encouragement from my parents. He now works in a very football-related field.

Conversely, DS(6) could not give a shit about football. He has not interest in playing with a ball or watching it on tv. I honestly don’t even really know if he is aware that football is a ‘thing’ besides a game that some of the other kids play at school.