To not be bothered if son likes football

[rosedahlialily]

I’m pregnant with my first baby, due in June and it’s a boy. Ever since DH’s family found out I’ve been inundated with the question ”Will you get him to play football?” alongside comments around how football is the best thing you can get a little boy into, will he support X team etc.

I just don’t get it at all. I didn’t grow up around football and DH is the anomaly in that he was forced to play/go to games but hated it. We have no interest in introducing football to future son but family seems to be obsessed with the idea.
Sports are obviously great for health/ socialising etc, but why football and not tennis or any other sport!? I just know as soon as they meet him they will gift us a baby football kit. They arnt even a mad football family they just quite traditional and think that a boy must love football. Am I missing something!?

You can’t make kids like a thing. Regularly saw kids at football, dancing, swimming, cubs, brownies etc who clearly hated it. They all end up leaving

I never attended the club. Dh took ds. And this was about a decade ago. In any case, I'm not sure why I would care if parents who yell at and harangue little kids over a game would 'miss me'. Going to the club made ds miserable, which is why he stopped going. But yeah - compared with them I'm clearly a terrible person...

Don’t be ridiculous 🙄

Calm down, you're making a tit out of yourself. Back away gently now and no one will mention it again.

I'm really not. Babies in football kits look awful. Especially the ones with Jaxon or Jayden emblazoned on the back.

Neither of my sons ever played football and it's never been an issue. They both have their own hobbies and interests. In fact one of them is very sporty - was a sports prefect at school, won the school PE prize on multiple occasions, did very well at A level PE and is now doing a sport related course at University, all without having more than a passing interest in football. It may be the commonest game to play but there are loads of other options. If either of mine had shown an interest I guess I would have taken them, but they both asked to do other things which was fine by me.
They never suffered socially as a result of their disinterest either, even though we live somewhere where it's very popular.
I guess if relatives really enjoy football, or any other hobby come to that, it's not unusual to envisage taking a young family member to enjoy it with them, and that's absolutely fine if there is a genuine shared interest but I think it's best to let youngsters follow their own interests as far as possible. I know a few people who have tried to impose their own hobbies on their kids when they're clearly not into the same things and it never seems to end well. Best to expose them to a variety of hobbies and let them choose in my opinion. If anyone had given me a baby football kit when mine were young I'd have thanked them, put the baby in it for a photo for the giver and then forgotten about it, just as I did when I got big frilly dresses given to me for my DD.

They are babies. Of course they don't look awful.

Don't be a snob.

And you wonder why people didn’t like you.

I agree it's just mega chavvy and tacky where I'm from and I wouldve thought almost everywhere except maybe housing estates.

Whether people want to admit it or not, football is still associated with drinking, thuggery, racism etc it's not a sport I'd encourage and the way adults get on at games shouting and swearing is ridiculous but it's the kids i feel sorry for. If my kid wants to play, fine but I'm not going to dress up a little baby in tacky football gear 🙈 or encourage it. Theres lots of sports out there without the associated negative behaviour.

I don’t like football but there’s no question that if a child gets into playing it then they have a lot of exercise/socialising opportunities that extend long into adulthood.

Those associations are largely outdated. Of course, there will always be a minority who are out for trouble but they aren't real football fans, most people just want to have a good afternoon cheering on their team.

I go to matches regularly and it is very much a family affair, especially with so many stadiums now having family stands and going out of their way to be family friendly. I've never had any issues at football matches.

I'm still not sure what's tacky about a football shirt on a baby.

You are being utterly ridiculous and clearly do not go to football matches.

You don't know what your child will like - they might be really passionate about football and they might hate it or be indifferent. You can't mould a child to like something if they're not interested. I have two sons, one didn't like football at all until about 9 or 10 and then was mildly enthusiastic in a casual way. The other one seemed to be born loving footballs and was obsessed with it, despite having two parents that didn't like it at all.

I took my son to football training as my brothers and dad are hugely in to it. My DH isn't too fussed but did play when young. He ran around the full two sessions with the coloured bib over his head.

We let him also try ice hockey, which he loved and has played for nine years. Now he's older, he's naturally himself gotten more in to football and goes out and plays it with his friends at night, goes and watches games with DH (dh never went prior to this, it's ds that drives it). Personally, I'm delighted I've never needed to stand at the side of a wet pitch in winter.

DH and I disliked football. We had 3 girls with no interest in football, so expected DS to also not be interested in football, he would look blankly when people asked who he supported. We tried to get him into cricket and tennis. Then he became obsessed with football via football card collecting craze at school (he was a collecting kind of kid), but the cards progressed to playing, to training, to wanting to play daily, a total 24-7 obsession. In hindsight, as much as I don't like football dominating boys social interaction, DS being into it very much helped him socially at school, and got him away from screens almost entirely, and I came to be glad he got into it without our encouragement because he had very obscure interests before football. We learned to enjoy it eventually too because he was so passionate about it. We do live in a particularly football dominant city though.

Ugh, no, football is chavvy and he’d start mixing with the wrong sorts. Get him into rugby, cricket, swimming and/or tennis. Will make much more useful connections that way.

You know nothing about football.

Fuck the idea of pushing boys towards football just so they can 'fit in'. Your DS will like what he likes.
DS, now 14 was one of the few non football boys at his primary school. He had not 2 shiny shits to give whether he was part of anyone's tribe or not though as he's not hugely social. Doesn't seem to have done him any harm and he's always found his own niche.

I do think there were a lot of angry, ragey parents on the sidelines when my son played as they were from poverty and saw their child becoming a football player as their way out of poverty. A lot of the time I just felt sorry for their kids.

Here in Scotland football is still very much rooted in sectarianism. It’s utterly vile. The domestic violence cases in Glasgow soar on the Rangers v Celtic matches. Horrible.

That’s just daft. Parents may have been over passionate, but no one genuinely believes that their son will play for England any more than people believe they’ll win the lottery. Good to know middle class people never get angry or commit domestic abuse though.

No, I really don't.

Living in a world where some people push gender stereotypes (and some of those people are in his family) is just one of hundreds of crappy things he will need to negotiate in life, unfortunately - the good news is, he will have you to help him and to balance silly ideas with other points of view and encourage him to think for himself.

He will be his own person and like what he likes, regardless of what activities he's taken to or what clothes he is bought. Football is something he's going to be exposed to regardless of whether you sign up for it as an "activity" - it's just what happens in school, and little boys will always kick a ball around and talk about football etc. You can't shield him from something so dominant in the culture he lives in and the influence of people who are not you, but you can encourage him to follow his own interests and be comfortable knowing his own mind and expressing his own tastes. He will be who he is.

How totally ridiculous.

i have two sons, one is quite into it (and plays for a team) the other couldn’t be less interested. I wish he’d do more physical exercise but otherwise I don’t think he’s missing out he has plenty of other things going on

The best advice is to try to get him playing at least two sports. It is far better for the development of their young bodies.

DS played football for a couple of years but it was in the days of sweary, obnoxious to the referee ('over passionate') parents. Turns out he loves a stick and ball so played cricket, tennis and hockey. Those are all accessible to children from any background. All three offered free kit to those who couldn't afford it. The subscription for U18 at his club is £65 so on a par with a football team.
https://www.lta.org.uk/play/parents-area/kids-tennis-how-to-get-started/

You are glad you didn’t have boys because football is the unhealthiest of all
sports? How would you know if you don’t have sons who play about what parents are like?

Honestly that is some pretty big judgemental, negative generalising there.

My boys play footie. They love it and we didn’t push. My eldest plays internationally and academy category 1 football. He is head boy, gets straight a’s and is the loveliest kid ever. So maybe let’s knock it till you try it. They also did athletics, tennis, swimming and martial arts. There were poor parents at all of these activities including football.

Football doesnt equal hooliganism. But generalising stereotyping does equal poor judgement.

What if I said I’m glad I don’t have girls so they weren’t bitchy, over sexualised, princesses?

Football like any sport takes concentration and fitness and team work and dedication etc etc etc. nothing wrong with that.