To think that people pretend not to understand obesity

[Mezzoprezzo]

After 30 plus years of failed diets I've recently started on mounjaro. Because I've placed an order and spent weeks searching stuff about weight loss medication, my Facebook feed is full of adverts from suppliers, many of which use vlogs from real clients who have lost weight. And the vast majority of comments are along the lines of, couldn't you just eat less, haven't you heard of exercise, why not just stop eating crap etc. Surely people are faking ignorance to have the fun of fat bashing. Obesity is rife! Everyone knows someone who struggles with their weight and who talks openly about it. I and every other obese person I know have tried every diet under the sun. Walk into any gym and you'll see a fair number of larger people trying bloody hard. And I know someone's going to reply to this post by talking about an obese friend who they once saw eating an entire packet of biscuits. Well numerous times I've given in to the overwhelming urge to do that too. And hated myself afterwards. It's part of the horrible condition. People have got eyes and ears and they seriously know full bloody well how hard obese people try to lose weight. They just pretend not to so they can have the fun of hating.

@Lollipop81 You realise saying 'no disrespect' and then saying something really disrespectful and rude, and wrong, doesn't magically change what you've said to something respectful, or correct, yeah?

If weight loss were as easy as you seem to think (ie, as simple a matter as it is for you), we'd all have done it, there'd be no weight loss industry, no billions of pounds spent on developing medications to treat a variety of related issues...

So just maybe.. its not actually as easy as you think. Has that crossed your mind?

I’m only 5ft2 with a slim build. I do not eat most ultra processed foods, supermarket bread, cakes, pastries, pasta and potatoes 95% of the time. I do eat rice, homemade bread, dark chocolate and lots of fruit, veg, pulses, eggs, meat and fish. If I ate like most people I would put on a lot of weight which is easy given my height, and I really don’t want to as I do a lot of running and I want to keep as fit as possible as I head into my 50s and further into menopause.

I weigh myself most days to keep within a kg or two of my goal weight. It sounds miserable and restrictive but it’s not for me, it’s my way of life! I don’t know if I’m able to do this because I don’t eat a lot of ultra processed foods, or because I don’t get food noise, or because I have no conditions that may affect weight gain.

You totally missed my point. I’m not being rude, it’s called honesty. I don’t find it easy at all, I didn’t say it is easy anywhere in my post. It is extremely difficult, I find it very dfficult. But I do it, as hard as I find it, so I don’t become obese. The whole point of a weight loss industry is it makes money by helping people lose weight, don’t patronise me!
as I’ve said I understand food is an addiction for some people which is a different thing entirely, all the weight loss programmes in the world won’t help unless it tackles the addiction.

A study was done a couple of years ago to test this theory about calorie usage. Two groups of people were fed the same diet. One group was sedentary, the other very physically active (miners I think). Over the space of a given amount of time they were monitored and there was no difference in weight at all. So the mantra of 'move more' is a bit of a myth. Each pound of fat is the equivalent of 3,900Kcals, which would be a significant calorie deficit on a day to day basis

People who exercise are more likely to eat better than people who don't. Exercising boosts your mood and reduces stress which helps a lot when it comes to making good food choices. I used to eat when sad or eat when stressed, now I run. It works better for my mood and is obviously better for my weight. I used to pig out a bit in the evenings now I make time for some mat pilates or joint stabiliity exercises, I never feel the need to eat afterwards. So for me I definitely don't feel that it is a myth, moving more isn't just about calories burnt it's the choices that moving more leads to.

The more posts l read like this, the more l want to try mounjaro.
Was out with a friend today who weighs 8 stone - telling me her mother in law is on WLI and she just doesn't get why she doesn't just eat less and move more.
How would someone who weighs 8 stone even begin to understand

With respect, it is easier to maintain a healthy body weight/ bmi when you are fit and healthy. I respect your reply and I think everyone would agree here that avoiding the ultra processed foods is a good move and will certainly help you stay healthy in the long term, along with the exercise.

Battling conditions that sweep in and change your body and brain chemistry (without any warning, or asking permission or anything! 😭) and dumps you into fat storage mode you cannot control or switch off is brutal. Same as @PinkArt (pretty sure it was you Pink, further up thread) I also had to have my gallbladder removed and think this was another spring board to more gains and another barrier to weight loss. All the things I did to lose weight before just didn’t work any more. It did nothing, even with strict concerted effort and discipline. It. just. would. not. shift 😞

I feel like the healthy size 10/12, happy energetic lady I used to be, who enjoyed cooking and experimenting with dishes/ different healthy recipes from scratch and getting out, running, cycling, gym classes etc was abducted 5 years ago. She was bound, gagged, blindfolded and dumped off a bridge. She’s dead. I was body swapped into a body of disease. It has stripped my life to the marrow. Even the weight gain and inability to lose it is nothing compared to the pain levels, loss of mobility, cognitive function and my happy mind being swapped for a clinically depressed brain that is struggling to cope and pushed me close to suicide. I am on multiple medications everyday and frankly, I am scared. I do not want to die, I love my kids, I want to stay but the depression gets so bad it is frightening and I cannot find my way out. Got so close to giving up I couldn’t live with the pain. I am in a better place now, but it’s still there, like a poison I can’t flush out. I am hoping hoping there is still a way to a healthier and less pain ridden life, weight loss would be great and I have hope that may come but if not I still have to find a way to reclaim any health I can. Sorry that is probably an over share, I am hopeful things will get better but this has been the hardest thing I’ve ever been through.

UPFs are a massive issue. They make cheap junk food addictive. The more UPF people eat the more they want. In my area it’s very clear the socio economic divide. People craving food resorting to all sorts to no avail

Do you qualify? If so, go for it!

That isn’t what I’m saying!!!! They aren’t just fatties at all, I honestly believe a lot of people who are obese and try to lose weight and struggle to lose weight (medical conditions aside) have other issues similar to addiction, but with food. I obviously didn’t make my point very well.
My point being I hate losing weight I find it so difficult but I force myself to diet and I trudge through, sometimes well and sometimes not so well. The OP asked it obese people try hard enough, well if they cut calories and exercised they would lose weight. So if they struggle cutting calories and are drawn back to food I believe it is more related to addiction. I think this is something that needs to be dealt with ok order it help the obesity epidemic.
hopefully I have made my point better now.

Oh my God. How ignorant are you that you think overweight people eat high sugar high fat food?!
Such an almighty judgement.
I'm 3 stone overweight. That makes me obese.
I do not eat high sugar high fat food.
Here's what I ate yesterday:
Breakfast - nothing
Mid morning - nothing
Lunch - nothing
3pm - 2 slices wholemeal seeded bread with 2 boiled eggs
7pm - chicken breast, harissa paste, brown rice, long stemmed broccoli
Drinks - 3 mugs of tea with soya milk + 8 glasses of water
That's it.
This is how I eat every day.
But I'm still 3 stone overweight.
My back is still covered in rolls of fat.
The back of my neck is still covered in a thick layer of fat.
I still have fat that I can grab hold of in my armpits.
I still have an apron of abdominal fat.
Yet I know mumsnet will be filled with people refusing to believe I eat this much if I'm 3 stone overweight.
People who aren't obese have no idea of the miserable reality we are living with.

There's a saying "you can't outrun a bad diet"

I run regularly (4-5 times/week) I eat chocolate even more regularly (every day)
I think its predominantly luck rather than running that allows me to do that and remain a healthy weight

My post was SOLELY aimed at the posters who had said they were addicted to eating sugary foods, snacks and processed foods (as those types of food are made to be addictive) and how they’d have no problem eating through a whole packet of biscuits for example. It was not a judgemental post, it was just a question posted to people who had been talking about their addictive behaviours.

My post was certainly not meant as being a judgemental statement, or opinion, about anyone who is obese but I’m sorry for causing you offence.

I really don't see another way that 'people who are obese obviously don’t try hard enough' can be read.

Not everything is about eat less move more. Smaller portions. Bad choices. I have spent years battling my weight. Living off next to nothing. Exercising until exhaustion. Couldn't shift a pound. And on top of that having IBS-D, which at times was debilitating and made me incredibly poorly, in theory I should have been thin. I was diagnosed with PCOS with insulin resistance a couple of years ago and again told "just lose weight and it will get better". Again, tried many diets, calorie counting, SW, low carb, low fat, zero sugar. Mounjaro has almost reset my body. I feel so much better in so many ways and it has had a profound impact on my hormones. The IBS is all but gone, I no longer feel waves of fatigue, I'm not constantly hungry, my skin is better, my hair is better and I am generally much healthier because of it.

If that's not proof of an underlying condition causing the obesity I don't know what is. Some people are naturally hormonally balanced, other people like me clearly need a bit of help. But that's no different to my blood pressure being fine but my husband needing pills to lower his...?

@Van34 we have very similar stories although I used to maintain my weight fairly well on low carb in the past and I have IBS-C rather than D.

I was put on a very restrictive diet by my consultant to manage my IBS. Gluten free, Low fat, low sugar, low calorie by default. I’ve stuck to it religiously for nearly a decade. I exercise, I don’t eat UPF or any sort of treat. I’m not allowed fruit and the only times I’ve veered off track involved some grapes and a mango. It’s been hard work and miserable and quite often I just cba to eat as it’s the same old stuff day in and day out.

I too should be thin as a rake but I’ve gained 2.5 stone. On between 1000 and 1200 calories a day. Not obese in terms of BMI but body fat scores through the roof. Eat less, move more 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I’m on Mounjaro now and I’m half way to losing that 2.5 stone. I too have seen profound improvements in my health. The IBS having gone being the biggest one. As soon as I’ve lost the weight the low cal, low fat approach put on me I’ll titrate down and stay on it long term.

In case anyone is interested I’m eating more calories every day but losing weight. I think that proves an underlying condition as well

Have you had your thyroid checked?

I really don’t understand the I find it hard but I do it so everyone else should too attitude, like has been said so many times here it’s not a level playing field. Even if it was why does someone failing where another person succeeds mean their fair game for judgement, people fail at all kinds of things surely the decent response is to give sympathy and encouragement not sneer at them for not doing as well as you are.
I'm currently obese and barely leave the house as I struggle with how I imagine people judge me, I fully perceive myself as a fat greedy monster who has no willpower and absolutely despise myself for it.
I was an over weight child with a mother who would constantly berate me for being a fat greedy pig whilst simultaneously feeding me heaping plates of stodge. Treats were heavily restricted which she claimed was good parenting but looking back they were used as a weapon, do what she wanted and you’d be allowed a bag crisps, if she was in a bad mood I was told I disgusting and greedy for even asking. Lunch wasn’t a thing in our home outside of school and you were just being greedy if you were hungry outside dinner and breakfast. She started weighing and measuring me when I was around ten so we could lose weight together as of course she was also overweight herself. Of course she kept serving up huge plates of stodge so I was never going to get smaller despite being very active but of course I was told it was down to me having two yogurts and a couple of boiled sweets in a week…

As an adult my attitude to food is beyond messed up, I'm 40 now and still stuck in the same cycle of binging and starving myself as I have been since childhood. I know ultimately I’m responsible for myself and my bad choices but not everyone is given to tools to make good choices early on, and it’s so hard to overcome deeply engrained decades long habits. I sometimes think being fat is a special kind of hell because you can’t hide your failings, you can’t spot a person who lacks the willpower to not over spend on the street, most people are probably weak when it comes to something but few things make it as obvious as being fat and people seem to think that entitles them to judge.

Do you think the weight lost on your diet won't be regained when you stop dieting?

Since 1959, research has shown that 95 to 98 percent of attempts to lose weight fail and that two thirds of dieters gain back more than they lost.

Speaking as a person for whom fasting 3 days a week (when cutting down to 1000 calories a day didn't work - with medical supervision) only to find that I still couldn't lose weight, absolutely for some people eating less doesn't lead to weight loss.

Insulin resistance.

Genuine question. I said it's calories in vs calories out, and people told me I was wrong. I do not understand MJ all that well but isn't it basically just an appetite suppressant, which makes you eat less, therefore you lose weight? In which case, it really is calories in vs calories out. And if you need a drug to "make" you eat less, then great. If there is other science at play, I am open and keen to hear!

No. Because it was a drug designed for diabetics, it has some sort of effect on insulin (I can't pretend to understand the science). So for those who aren't actually diabetic, BUT have insulin resistance, it makes weight loss a lot easier.

@Mezzoprezzo I absolutely agree. Obesity is so, so complex and everyone has an opinion on it. I've been on MJ for a little over a month and I'm a very slow loser so far. But I've not thrown in the towel.

I've been overweight/obese since childhood and this is very first time in my life that I feel completely in control of my body. Previous attempts at dieting always ended with either feeling like I'm a failure or lack willpower, but MJ has somehow quieted those negative voices for the first time in my life. And along with that has allowed me to tune out all the naysayers out there because God knows there's a lot of critics out there.

Best of luck to you!

It is genuinely as simple as calories in Vs calories out BUT for some people their hormones (insulin, ghrelin, leptin etc) causes their body to demand extra calories in and also fail to utilise calories effectively. Drugs like MJ and ozempic help the body to regulate those hormones so you don't constantly feel the need to put calories in but it also supports the bodies ability to optimally utilise those calories.

So whilst yes, calories in/ calories out is correct, the effort taken to output 1 calorie can vary massively depending on hormones.

@eggnog7 appetite suppression is almost a side effect. It works in several ways. It increases insulin production, reduces the amount of glucose produced by the liver and slows gut transit to allow you to feel fuller for longer.

You do eat less overall but in my case not much less and I’m having more calories on Mounjaro than before. They are just coming from better sources. And before anyone jumps on that comment to say I must have been eating UPF or sugary stuff before - I wasn’t. I’ve just cut out the stupid pointless carbs in rice, potatoes etc and increased protein.

calories in vs calories out is very simplistic and doesn’t really take into account the complexity of humans as an organism. Works for a lot of people a lot of the time but it also prevents others, including health care professionals, looking further for other reasons for failure to lose. Hence treating the overweight and obese as lazy fatties which in a lot of cases couldn’t be further from the truth. There are some wonderful examples from people on this thread

Unless you carefully weighed and measured everything before and after I don’t think you are telling the truth saying you are eating more and losing weight - it would be very unusual and there are far too many people claiming to be special when it comes to their weight problems

i do agree that once you have screwed up your insulin system by overloading it everything gets a lot more complex

but the excuses on here “it’s more complex” do nothing to explain why the people who eat more and eat more crap are heavier than those who dont

i see a lot of overweight people with “no idea” why they are that big and claiming its hormones and complexity - but politeness prevents me from spelling it out that I can see what they eat